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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To cancel Tate membership over drag queen story time

57 replies

Stringofheart · 04/02/2023 10:24

I have a Tate membership and have thoroughly enjoyed using it so far, but today I noticed that they have a ‘drag queen story time’ event for children.

Not only do I not agree with children being exposed to any aspect of adult entertainment, but according to a twitter thread the drag queen in question - Aida H. Dee - has openly stated that they were friends with another drag queen who was convicted of raping a child, and has stated that he wears the rapists jewellery to these children’s events - I’m horrified. The Tate have apparently stood by their choice to have this individual doing the story time.

twitter.com/reduxxmag/status/1618185784867127296?s=24&t=IvUMW_xSI2ydKhqIRyNyQQ

OP posts:
ginnybag · 04/02/2023 13:28

Even without the backstory, the performer's stage name makes them an inappropriate choice for this type of event.

Making a joke of neurodiversity may be fine, if rather dated and not that clever, comedy for adults but it shouldn't be modelled for children.

adriftabroad · 04/02/2023 13:38

@Stringofheart Thankyou for making me aware of this. Come at a very good time for me.

No, you are certainly not virtue signalling.

ClearMoth · 04/02/2023 13:42

I cancelled mine a couple of years ago, having been a member for decades, after a truly awful piece in Tate Etc magazine that complained that transgender people were banned from going into nursing, teaching, or sport.

What they meant was that men weren't able to take part in female sports, and that some women want female hcps to provide intimate care.

A he/him wrote back basically saying they didn't care.

LindorDoubleChoc · 04/02/2023 13:43

Yanbu and I would cancel too (if I was a member!)

I think we had a long thread on here in the summer about this individual with the offensive name. Something about family outdoor summer entertainment on the South Bank? Unbelievably there were Mumsnetters shrugging their shoulders on that thread and accusing anyone who objected of clutching pearls.

redbigbananafeet · 04/02/2023 13:45

Have you contacted them in writing and specifically asked them their views on their act supporting a child rapist? That might put the Willies up them in case you publish their response and the press catches wind x

TooBigForMyBoots · 04/02/2023 13:48

YANBU @Stringofheart, not unreasonable at all.😱

Florissant · 04/02/2023 13:48

YANBU.

Luredbyapomegranate · 04/02/2023 13:51

araiwa · 04/02/2023 11:20

Yes. Virtue signalling

If you are bothered by it, just cancel. Don't need to seek mn approval first

But no , look at me, I might do something about it but I'll post on MN first...

You know, I think maybe the OP wanted to draw attention to it, so other people would be aware 🤔because after all that’s what forums are for.

She may also have been wondering if it was an overreaction to withdraw her cash given how fucked arts bodies are right now. My initial reaction was that she was overreacting, till I read it properly, so I’m glad she started the thread.

Droppit · 04/02/2023 13:56

I agree with ginnybag re the name. What next? Dick Lexic?

Setting the rapist friend link to one side though, surely the content would be child appropriate? I've never been to one of these storytimes so don't know.

Theluggage15 · 04/02/2023 13:58

I got fed up of the Tate ages ago because of this sort of nonsense.

LolaSmiles · 04/02/2023 13:59

YANBU at all.
Let them know why though because they really ought to be aware that people are starting to ask questions about the types of adults who seek to minimise boundaries with children and dismiss safeguarding.

lifeturnsonadime · 04/02/2023 14:02

Droppit · 04/02/2023 13:56

I agree with ginnybag re the name. What next? Dick Lexic?

Setting the rapist friend link to one side though, surely the content would be child appropriate? I've never been to one of these storytimes so don't know.

Let me introduce you to Rainbow Dildo Monkey

www.spiked-online.com/2021/07/13/the-rainbow-dildo-butt-monkey-is-no-laughing-matter/

JacquelinePot · 04/02/2023 14:17

I don't like drag but even if I did I'm pretty sure I wouldn't like it being aimed at little kids. Setting aside the obvious concerns about 'woman-face', the examples weve seen of inappropriate dancing and the various cases of sex offenders who have been drawn to this role, I'm also very worried about the content of the books they tend to choose.

DrManhattan · 08/02/2023 08:22

Didn't you realise that you aren't allowed to dislike anything these days. You run the risk of all sort of name calling.

RichardBarrister · 08/02/2023 08:54

Droppit · 04/02/2023 13:56

I agree with ginnybag re the name. What next? Dick Lexic?

Setting the rapist friend link to one side though, surely the content would be child appropriate? I've never been to one of these storytimes so don't know.

This particular DQ has quite a few pictures taken with children in a rainbow sequin outfit that leaves nothing to the imagination (he gets visibly ‘excited’ by being around children.

He has pictures where he has allowed young children to hug him where they can reach - his crotch area and, unlike a normal male reaction, he has clearly not guided the child away from that area. Most men have an instinctive reaction to move out of the way if a child inadvertently touches their crotch area - his lack of physical boundaries is extremely concerning.

There are a number of DQs in the storytelling business that seem to be a serious lack of awareness of what is appropriate for young children, from physical contact (a serious no-no) to posting porn on their social media next to pictures of children and worse (there is a growing number of convictions of child sexual offences for these men).

The whole ethos of drag is that it is a sexualised parody of women that uses nasty names to refer to us (fishy etc). In no way, shape or form is this suitable for children, despite the eagerness of its proponents to convince us otherwise.

JusteanBiscuits · 08/02/2023 08:58

lifeturnsonadime · 04/02/2023 11:32

Yes cancel and say why.

It is disgraceful that men in drag is being normalised as a children's event, even worse with the connotations of child rape that I wasn't previously aware of.

How any parent can think this is appropriate entertainment for a child is beyond me.

I agree that the choice of person, with their comments regarding a rapist is entirely wrong.

but your line:

"It is disgraceful that men in drag is being normalised as a children's event,"

Never been to a panto?? Ever watched Mr Tumble?

JusteanBiscuits · 08/02/2023 09:06

lifeturnsonadime · 04/02/2023 14:02

Rainbow Dildo Butt Monkey wasn't a drag queen btw. It was a complete fuck up by a random in my local council booking a "troop" they had never even watched. Dildo Butt monkey literally had a DILDO hanging from his waist, he chased and harassed women in full burkas on the street. Big difference.

lifeturnsonadime · 08/02/2023 09:07

JusteanBiscuits · 08/02/2023 08:58

I agree that the choice of person, with their comments regarding a rapist is entirely wrong.

but your line:

"It is disgraceful that men in drag is being normalised as a children's event,"

Never been to a panto?? Ever watched Mr Tumble?

Why does a story time for children have to involve a man performing a highly sexualised version of woman face? How does that benefit a young child in any way?

I wouldn't take a young child to a panto either unless it is specifically for children. They are mostly aimed at an adult audience.

Not seen Mr Tumble so no idea what the issue is with that. Done a quick google it seems to be a clown and disabled kids? Do they make them any more?

plumduck · 08/02/2023 09:08

Why would it be unreasonable? Its your membership cancel it for whatever reason you like you don't need to run it past mumsnet

Abc123def456ghi · 08/02/2023 09:09

I'm local to the DQ with the rape conviction that is being referenced. He was 16 (you can do the maths on when he was convicted, as he's recently been in the press after being found dead) and the victim was apparently his 15 year old boyfriend with homophobic parents.

There are parts of the trial that would absolutely make me question whether I'd have wanted my child around them, but I don't think it is a clear cut case.

BellatrixLestrangesHeatedCurlers · 08/02/2023 09:10

Are you going to do it or just whine about it on AIBU

Orangepolentacake · 08/02/2023 10:18

Abc123def456ghi · 08/02/2023 09:09

I'm local to the DQ with the rape conviction that is being referenced. He was 16 (you can do the maths on when he was convicted, as he's recently been in the press after being found dead) and the victim was apparently his 15 year old boyfriend with homophobic parents.

There are parts of the trial that would absolutely make me question whether I'd have wanted my child around them, but I don't think it is a clear cut case.

@Abc123def456ghi I was a bit puzzled by the mention that he’d spent 3 years in a young offenders institution

TonTonMacoute · 08/02/2023 10:24

I definitely would, if it were me.