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AIBU?

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Original poster

Sons requests for ‘stuff’ seems endless

39 replies

Helpmegetajob · 02/02/2023 22:12

DS9 has recently taken to football and is becoming more aware of brands etc. he’s started asking for new football boots, Liverpool FC joggers, Air Jordan trainers etc all stuff that he could do with in the sense of needing footy boots but not the branded names all the time.

normally I say put it on a list for birthday/celebrations but it’s getting tiresome and he’s frustrated waiting so long.

aibu in saying no let’s head to shoe zone /primark? Or is this branded stuff to be expected?

OP posts:
Goldandpurplezebra · 02/02/2023 22:13

It's ok to tell him no.

Dacadactyl · 02/02/2023 22:13

Look on ebay and vinted.

TokyoSushi · 02/02/2023 22:14

Standard. Just say no or little bits sometimes.

GoldilockMom · 02/02/2023 22:15

You give him pocket money .

You provide Naxos clothing and he can save or do chores for extras.

Win win - if he wants it thy badly he’ll work for it.

Jam jar with a job and price - soon adds up

Coffeellama · 02/02/2023 22:15

My son is football mad, he gets the option when he needs something of brand new at £x’ or if you want branded we buy it on vinted. There’s some great stuff on there and thankfully the rest of his team get stuff on vinted too.

Hankunamatata · 02/02/2023 22:17

You just keep saying put it on the list or he does chores and saves pocket money.
I picked up few liverpool clothing bits online cheap especially not fussed about being current season trackies

Eastereggsboxedupready · 02/02/2023 22:19

Mine were at secondary school before I entertained the idea of branded stuff. Apart from trainers. Much better life span in better quality than say supermarket ones...
Agree for a birthday he can choose an outfit.. Prepare for £80 for a quite basic tracksuit though! Hoody is a better bet. Bigger size and lots of wear out of it!

.

Ponderingwindow · 02/02/2023 22:19

Birthday and Christmas list.

if you are buying something like shoes anyway because he needs new shoes and your preferred budget doesn’t meet his desires, offer the opportunity to pay the difference himself.

This is also a good use for pocket money or earning money for extra chores if you are inclined to offer it. He has the option to save up and buy things himself.

WishIWasACavewoman · 02/02/2023 22:21

DS12 is the same. It must come from schoolmates and tiktok because we're pretty unimpressed by glitzy brands. I don't want him to be the uncool kid who doesn't fit in, but I want him to be savvy about being marketed to as well. Hoping to strike a balance.

I tend to let him have the odd branded thing if we're replacing anyway; tell him to save for others; bday and Xmas of course.

Plus I talk to him about advertising. Why does a particular label sewn onto a tracksuit make it suddenly cost £100 more. All the influences that are so cool on tiktok are really adverts, play a game to see if we can work out which products they're promoting.

Smartiepants79 · 02/02/2023 22:21

What you’ve said is exactly the right thing.
It’s ok for him to want the special brands but he can have them for his birthday.
If it was me I’d be saying ‘stop asking or you’re never getting’!!! 🤨
If he actually needs these things then buy the ones you can afford. Save the expensive stuff for presents.
Put a quick lid on the pestering though if you can.

Hankunamatata · 02/02/2023 22:22

Trainers again shop about. We have nice trainers then play trainers for out in the street

Sazzling · 02/02/2023 22:33

Paper round. If the trainers are worth the work, then he can buy them with his earnings.

HikingforScenery · 02/02/2023 22:37

At 9?! of course it’s ok to say no! Manage his expectations. it’s part of your job as his parent.

VestaTilley · 02/02/2023 22:39

Just say no. Treats are for birthday and Christmas, and that’s only if you can afford them.

Basics and unbranded things are totally fine. Don’t be fooled by him saying all his friends have the trendiest stuff - they won’t. And it’s good to teach him the value of money.

Harriettt · 02/02/2023 22:41

It's hard when they are seeing all their friends in the gear that they are asking for. If you can afford it, I'd let him have some of it, but at the same time teaching him he has to wait for things and can't just have everything he wants etc.

Namechangethisonetime · 02/02/2023 22:42

Coffeellama · 02/02/2023 22:15

My son is football mad, he gets the option when he needs something of brand new at £x’ or if you want branded we buy it on vinted. There’s some great stuff on there and thankfully the rest of his team get stuff on vinted too.

Love this response

Annoyingly we’re not in an area where anyone would openly admit to buying on eBay/Vinted. I buy what I can in nearly new/ v v good condition on Vinted! Love it

ZenNudist · 02/02/2023 22:46

You have to draw the line somewhere.

I explain to my kids that we can afford this but then not holidays or treats. I find that whatever they get they want more immediately.

OneRingToRuleThemAll · 02/02/2023 22:51

DD12 got into brands. I now give her the child benefit (about £80 per month) and she can spend it on snacks for school (packed lunch is provided but sometimes she wants to buy lunch, non essential clothes and outings with friends.

She quickly came to realise that it doesn't go far.

F4chrissakes · 02/02/2023 23:57

Say no. But the child will sulk and make your life a misery until you give in. And the week after you do, it will be something else in another designer brand. Been there, got the (non designer!) t shirt.......
Take heart from the fact that kids are sent to try you. And their kids will try them just the same. Kismet and all that.

NuffSaidSam · 03/02/2023 00:02

Birthday or Christmas or he pays the extra himself (great time to introduce pocket money if you haven't already).

I would explain Vinted etc. to him so he understands his options and let him make his own choices.

TheClitterati · 03/02/2023 06:20

Give him a clothing budget. He'll quickly learn to prioritise what he really wants/needs.

My girls buy their own clothes with their budget and love it. Xmas & birthday lists are very clothes/trainers heavy now.

LlynTegid · 03/02/2023 06:31

Expected yes, you can and in my opinion should say no other than birthdays and Christmas. Also unless you are local to Liverpool, discourage his glory seeker support, as before too long he will want to visit Anfield for a game at vast expense.

Quinoawoman · 03/02/2023 06:36

My DD has recently set her heart on an 'Air Up' bottle. Apparently 'everyone has one and she feels left out of conversations because she doesn't have one'. 🙄

I told her that there will always be something she wants and doesn't have, and that she'll have to find a way to get used to that difficult feeling.

Siameasy · 03/02/2023 06:42

DD8 is the same for certain things. She gets pocket money and can earn money through certain tasks eg cleaning the bath. She has a Hyper Jar bank card. If it’s a need of course we will buy but when it’s the 7th drinks bottle or millionth pair of slippers - no.

PinkSyCo · 03/02/2023 06:42

“No sorry, they’re too expensive. Maybe if you still want them in a few months time you can have them for your birthday/Christmas”.

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