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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be worried about my neighbours?

48 replies

PonkyPonky · 02/02/2023 19:17

Have long suspected neighbours are hoarders. They don’t go out, windows/curtains are never opened. They’re a bit strange but very pleasant people. But today they had a leak so asked DH to go round to have a look. He was horrified by what he found in there. It was the level of hoarding they make tv shows about and it was so dirty and mouldy, he could hardly stay long enough to look at the problem. He showed me a picture and I am genuinely concerned it’s a major fire hazard and we are attached. I also know they don’t do things like get boiler services etc because they understandably don’t want people in there. Now that we know for sure, I am more worried than ever and not sure if there is something I can do or should do. Any advice? They’ve never had any visitors but I occasionally hear the phone rings so I hope that means there’s someone out there caring about them.

OP posts:
GreaterStickle · 02/02/2023 19:19

YABU. They are entitled to live as they wish.

Kedece2410 · 02/02/2023 19:19

I'd contact SW & also your local Fire Station, express your concern & ask if they'll come out

Original poster
PonkyPonky · 02/02/2023 19:26

GreaterStickle · 02/02/2023 19:19

YABU. They are entitled to live as they wish.

Of course they are. I’m not judging, just concerned for their welfare and the repercussions for all of us (including my young children) if there was a fire

OP posts:
BookmarkReportSave · 02/02/2023 19:31

Ring the fire brigade and explain it. a disastrous house fire started near me in similar circumstances

Warspite · 02/02/2023 19:33

I Googled & found this on the Kingston Upon Thames Council web site:

“If you feel that someone's hoarding behaviour is presenting an immediate risk to themselves or others you should report this to the Adult Social Care team by raising a safeguarding concern.”

Does this help at all? Is there a local Safe Guarding team where you are?

YukoandHiro · 02/02/2023 19:43

Are they renting or owner occupiers? If they're renting you should report to the landlord - just say you're concerned about the condition of the property and fire risk.

Original poster
PonkyPonky · 02/02/2023 19:43

Warspite · 02/02/2023 19:33

I Googled & found this on the Kingston Upon Thames Council web site:

“If you feel that someone's hoarding behaviour is presenting an immediate risk to themselves or others you should report this to the Adult Social Care team by raising a safeguarding concern.”

Does this help at all? Is there a local Safe Guarding team where you are?

This is great, thank you. I have now found this on my local council website. I guess the only hesitation would be them knowing it’s us. DH is likely the only person who’s been in there for years so it would be obvious where it came from. I know that if someone reported me in this manner I would be highly embarrassed and upset. But if I do nothing then no one will. They clearly don’t have any family or friends and no one to notice that they’re in this situation except us. Argh this is a lose lose isn’t it

OP posts:
Original poster
PonkyPonky · 02/02/2023 19:48

YukoandHiro · 02/02/2023 19:43

Are they renting or owner occupiers? If they're renting you should report to the landlord - just say you're concerned about the condition of the property and fire risk.

They own it. Been there since the 70’s or 80’s I think. Come to think of it, an ambulance came about 2 years ago. Wouldn’t they have reported it as a safeguarding concern if it was in this state then? Could have happened since then I suppose but it looks like decades of it

OP posts:
LakeTiticaca · 02/02/2023 19:49

Yanbu. A situation like this is highly dangerous for them and surrounding neighbours. A fire breaking out would be devastating. Definitely contact the authorities x

StickofVeg · 02/02/2023 20:02

Personally I'd not do anything - they will definitely know it's you and poor relations with neighbours are horrible. I think they have to live how they want to and there may or may not be an increased risk of fire - you don't know. If someone has a tidy home but regular deep fat fries and let's it over heat because they don't pay attention then have a far higher risk than someone with a very untidy home but who does't cool,

PaddyDingDong · 02/02/2023 20:06

Absolutely report it! It's a serious mental health issue and environmental health. They do not want to live like that.

Flaunch · 02/02/2023 20:07

I’d probably talk to them about this personally and say you are a concerned about them and offer to see if you can help them to get some support with their hoarding, they’ll know they have a problem. But I’d also say that you wouldn’t do anything without their permission as you appreciate their right to privacy to live however they like. Ime though most hoarders don’t like it.

GrannyAchingsShepherdsHut · 02/02/2023 20:08

YANBU. I know of a situation where the sheer weight of hoarded stuff actually caused the floor joists to crack. Luckily it was discovered just in time, before the floors/ceilings could give way and flatten the people who at that stage were living entirely downstairs.

thewinterwitch · 02/02/2023 20:13

GreaterStickle · 02/02/2023 19:19

YABU. They are entitled to live as they wish.

No, they are not entitled to live in a manner that creates unreasonable levels of risk of fire and other damage for themselves and those around them, actually.

Original poster
PonkyPonky · 02/02/2023 20:16

Flaunch · 02/02/2023 20:07

I’d probably talk to them about this personally and say you are a concerned about them and offer to see if you can help them to get some support with their hoarding, they’ll know they have a problem. But I’d also say that you wouldn’t do anything without their permission as you appreciate their right to privacy to live however they like. Ime though most hoarders don’t like it.

This was my instinctive reaction to be honest. But we just don’t know them well at all. They really only leave the house for doctors appointments. They don’t even go in the garden, we cut the grass for them but they don’t go out there. So we just haven’t had the opportunity to become friendly with them. And I really have no idea how they would react to me asking if they need help face to face. It might be unbearably embarrassing and offensive to them

OP posts:
Celinia · 02/02/2023 20:26

Tricky one. Did they need a workman to fix the leak? If anyone else gained access to their property then you could contact social care. That way they won’t know for sure who raised concerns.

BasilParsley · 02/02/2023 20:31

You say you cut the grass for them - that implies you've had previous negotiations or do you just do it anyway without their permission?

Cocobutt · 02/02/2023 20:32

As someone who comes from a family of hoarders ( my mum can’t get to her windows or back door and you have to push open the front door and squeeze through a small gap just to get in and out) the council, SS and fire department etc won’t actually do anything.

You can try but I doubt much will be done about it.

Original poster
PonkyPonky · 02/02/2023 20:33

Celinia · 02/02/2023 20:26

Tricky one. Did they need a workman to fix the leak? If anyone else gained access to their property then you could contact social care. That way they won’t know for sure who raised concerns.

Not yet, but it’s definitely going to require a visit. This is a good point. I could wait until a tradesman has been

OP posts:
HighlandCowbag · 02/02/2023 20:33

I reported (or tried to anyway) FIL and his partner. This was a couple of years ago. I was concerned about fire risk and also the trip/fall risk as fil had had a stroke. Adult SS just told me unless they wanted help, nothing they could do. I told them fil has asked for help (it was his partner hoarding) which SS just said it was down to him to tell her to clear a space.

Original poster
PonkyPonky · 02/02/2023 20:34

BasilParsley · 02/02/2023 20:31

You say you cut the grass for them - that implies you've had previous negotiations or do you just do it anyway without their permission?

They knocked the door once and asked DH if he could. It’s just sort of carried on since then. They say thank you when we do it then go back inside and we might not see them again until we take in a parcel for them

OP posts:
Original poster
PonkyPonky · 02/02/2023 20:37

HighlandCowbag · 02/02/2023 20:33

I reported (or tried to anyway) FIL and his partner. This was a couple of years ago. I was concerned about fire risk and also the trip/fall risk as fil had had a stroke. Adult SS just told me unless they wanted help, nothing they could do. I told them fil has asked for help (it was his partner hoarding) which SS just said it was down to him to tell her to clear a space.

Gosh this is making me not hugely hopeful for a positive outcome here

OP posts:
SpaceMonitor · 02/02/2023 20:39

GreaterStickle · 02/02/2023 19:19

YABU. They are entitled to live as they wish.

You are completely wrong. Hoarding is a serious fire hazard and OP’s home is attached to theirs.

WendyAndCIyde · 02/02/2023 20:43

I would contact adult social care. If this is a hazard / danger then the council can also issue proceedings against them to get it cleared up.

chocolateisavegetable · 02/02/2023 20:44

This might help reassure you that asking for someone to help them is a good thing to do www.mind.org.uk/information-support/types-of-mental-health-problems/hoarding/about-hoarding/

and see this regarding the legal responsibility under The Care Act 2014

www.safeguardingcambspeterborough.org.uk/adults-board/cpsabprocedures/hoarding/