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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Nursery left DS in vom-covered clothes.

37 replies

ImperioMarch · 02/02/2023 09:50

Got a call from nursery to say DS (non-verbal, autistic) had projectile vomited.
Was wfh so got there in 5 mins.

When I arrived he was happily playing in the sand and the staff were cleaning the book area where he'd been sick.

I noticed he had a small smear of sick next to his mouth so had to ask staff for a wipe to clean it.

They'd changed his top, so clearly been into his bag but as I put him in the car I realised they hadn't changed his trousers, socks or removed his shoes - all of which had vomit on them (and not a small amount, it was crotch to ankle).

There is a full change of clothes in his bag at all times - right down to a vest, as he has a habit of getting soaked at the water tray - so no excuse for not changing IMHO.

This isn't the first time I've had issues. We caught them out not changing his nappy all day (and lying about it - they didn't know we'd marked them for proof after suspecting for a while)

WIBU to bring it up with the manager, or is it just one of those things?

OP posts:
Yesthatismychildsigh · 02/02/2023 09:59

Maybe they would have done it after cleaning the vomit up in the room. That seems a more sensible thing to do. It was only 5 minutes.

Yesthatismychildsigh · 02/02/2023 10:00

I don’t understand why you haven’t complained about the nappy thing though.

Original poster
ImperioMarch · 02/02/2023 10:00

Yesthatismychildsigh · 02/02/2023 09:59

Maybe they would have done it after cleaning the vomit up in the room. That seems a more sensible thing to do. It was only 5 minutes.

One member of staff was cleaning and another was with DS. They'd already changed his top, so why not do trousers at same time?

OP posts:
R0ckets · 02/02/2023 10:02

Honestly it sounds like you don't trust the nursery at all so I'm not sure why you're still sending your child to spend the day in a place where he cannot communicate and with people you don't trust to care do him properly.

Sweetmotherofallthatisholyabov · 02/02/2023 10:02

It can't be that bad if you only noticed getting into the car

Fleabigg · 02/02/2023 10:04

If you didn’t notice until you were putting him in the car was it actually that much? But if you don’t think they’re doing a good job caring for your child, trust your gut instinct and move him to another setting.

Soontobe60 · 02/02/2023 10:05

ImperioMarch · 02/02/2023 10:00

One member of staff was cleaning and another was with DS. They'd already changed his top, so why not do trousers at same time?

Show quote history

You said you only noticed it as you put him in the car. So it couldn’t have been so obvious.

Toddlerteaplease · 02/02/2023 10:05

If you got there within five minutes. They probably hadn't had time to do much! And stopping the other kids getting to it would be priority.

WandaWonder · 02/02/2023 10:07

It was 5 mins, are you looking for reasons to move your child?

Beyonsp · 02/02/2023 10:27

It was 5 minutes, I don't think it's U that they may not have fully changed him yet, they may have been waiting for the other staff member to finish cleaning before they fully took him to get all his kit off.
But as you've already had issues with nappies changes and them lying about it, it probably best to look for another nursery.

Original poster
ImperioMarch · 02/02/2023 10:49

Yesthatismychildsigh · 02/02/2023 10:00

I don’t understand why you haven’t complained about the nappy thing though.

I did. Mentioned to show it's not the first time his needs haven't been met.

OP posts:
BethFromThisIsUs · 02/02/2023 11:25

I can’t get excited about the vomit thing. But the nappy thing is dreadful. I’d have moved him then to be honest.

ChildminderMum · 02/02/2023 11:28

In just 5 minutes or so they'd already called you, moved other children away, changed the worst of his clothes and started cleaning the book corner - I think in this instance you're expecting too much.

I agree that it sounds like you've lost trust in them though.

Original poster
ImperioMarch · 02/02/2023 14:18

Thanks guys. Was aware the earlier nappy incident was probably the reason I was feeling they way I was.

We have been trying to move him but all the other nurseries in our area are full (mainly because another one in the area lost its funding and those kids took up any spare spaces).

He's on the waitlist for 5, but we don't want to pull him out - partly because we both work but partly because he does benefit from interacting with other kids. He's vastly improved since he's been in a formal setting.

OP posts:
jannier · 02/02/2023 14:35

ImperioMarch · 02/02/2023 09:50

Got a call from nursery to say DS (non-verbal, autistic) had projectile vomited.
Was wfh so got there in 5 mins.

When I arrived he was happily playing in the sand and the staff were cleaning the book area where he'd been sick.

I noticed he had a small smear of sick next to his mouth so had to ask staff for a wipe to clean it.

They'd changed his top, so clearly been into his bag but as I put him in the car I realised they hadn't changed his trousers, socks or removed his shoes - all of which had vomit on them (and not a small amount, it was crotch to ankle).

There is a full change of clothes in his bag at all times - right down to a vest, as he has a habit of getting soaked at the water tray - so no excuse for not changing IMHO.

This isn't the first time I've had issues. We caught them out not changing his nappy all day (and lying about it - they didn't know we'd marked them for proof after suspecting for a while)

WIBU to bring it up with the manager, or is it just one of those things?

How do you notice a trace on his face but manage to get him out to the car before finding his trousers and shoes are absolutely covered?

Problemorno · 02/02/2023 14:44

They probably just quickly whipped his shirt off as it was probably absolutely covered, then were going to change his other clothes once they'd cleaned the room. Arriving within 5 minutes doesn't leave opportunity to do much.

It can't have been that bad if you only noticed once you got to the car.

AnnaTortoiseshell · 02/02/2023 14:49

I would have moved him because of the nappy thing. That’s beyond unacceptable. The vomit would concern me less, I’d assume they hadn’t noticed. But not changing him all day and then lying? I’d not have brought him back the next day.

TreadSoftlyOnMyDreams · 02/02/2023 14:51

R0ckets · 02/02/2023 10:02

Honestly it sounds like you don't trust the nursery at all so I'm not sure why you're still sending your child to spend the day in a place where he cannot communicate and with people you don't trust to care do him properly.

This.

Original poster
ImperioMarch · 02/02/2023 15:01

And in all honesty I thought the stuff on his trousers was the wet sand as he gets that over his clothes all the time (hence the changes of clothes in the bag)

OP posts:
AppleDumplingWithCustard · 02/02/2023 15:20

Why does everyone on here ‘projectile’ vomit? If it truly had been projectile vomiting it would have landed a couple of feet away. Not over the child. Still, I suppose it adds to the drama.

Trinity65 · 02/02/2023 15:23

ImperioMarch · 02/02/2023 15:01

And in all honesty I thought the stuff on his trousers was the wet sand as he gets that over his clothes all the time (hence the changes of clothes in the bag)

Well perhaps the staff thought it was wet sand as well ?

Original poster
ImperioMarch · 02/02/2023 15:32

AppleDumplingWithCustard · 02/02/2023 15:20

Why does everyone on here ‘projectile’ vomit? If it truly had been projectile vomiting it would have landed a couple of feet away. Not over the child. Still, I suppose it adds to the drama.

Well seeing as he's been sick twice since I can definitely say he's projectile vomiting

OP posts:
Original poster
ImperioMarch · 02/02/2023 15:33

@Trinity65 he was playing with the sand AFTER being sick

OP posts:
Trinity65 · 02/02/2023 15:49

ImperioMarch · 02/02/2023 15:33

@Trinity65 he was playing with the sand AFTER being sick

Ah
Apologies then

The no nappy change thing would irritate Me but my kids all went to nursery's also connected to a Primary. My 3rd could not go as he was not Toilet trained at that time. This was a long time ago though

lanthanum · 02/02/2023 15:49

I would have thought the last thing you want a child playing with just after being sick is sand. Keep them to toys that can then be washed, surely!