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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To complain about the lolly pop lady

264 replies

Morph22010 · 02/02/2023 09:48

I have to drive ds to school about 10 miles away as he’s austistic and at specialist. No other viable way to get him there, we get a transport budget paid from council. I drive through a large village on way, not an alternative route. There is a school with a zebra crossing and lolly pop lady, have never really noticed much before just stopped when needed to then on my car. There’s been a new one there about 3 months and she crosses people across then if anyone is walking down road she’ll wait in road until thry get there then they cross as well. This is meaning the traffic can start to back up so there’s more of a wait in a queue than there used to be. There was a queue this morning, was in it maybe 7 mins then stopped again at crossing. Now the bit that’s annoyed me is that the parents were crossing back across the road and one had stopped and they’ve had a conversation in middle of the road, only about an extra 30 seconds but there were huge queues both ways. She seems a great lolly pop lady for getting people across the road but Aibu in thinking they should have some regard at least to the flow of traffic? My mornings are quite stressful anyway due to ds so I’m probably letting this stress me out more unduly

OP posts:
PinkSyCo · 02/02/2023 17:56

Lollipop ladies/men’s priority is pedestrians, not self important, impatient drivers sitting in their heated cars getting irate because a person earning minimum wage has the audacity to exchange a few words with another human being. Leave your house a couple of minutes earlier, it ain’t rocket science.

EmmaDilemma5 · 02/02/2023 17:58

That's why you have a horn

YANBU if it continues I would email the school. Either someone's ready to cross the road or they're not.

Original poster
Morph22010 · 02/02/2023 18:13

ivykaty44 · 02/02/2023 14:09

do you worry about other drivers holding you up in congestion? Im mean really could some of those other drivers have walked instead of driving to their destination, so many people drive to destinations under a mile away. Could some other drivers have caught the bus as there is a direct bus to their workplace, but instead they decided to drive and that held you up, and then these drivers wouldn't be causing congestion on the road and you'd get to your dc school without being held up.

You've only complained about the pedestrians though, they probably only impact on your journey time a fraction of all the others, why complain about the people have the least impact on your journey time and not those causing the greatest difference?

Because I’ve been doing the same route for two years with no issues from pedestrians or cars, it’s a country route so generally no hold ups. It only changed a few months ago when the old lollipop last changed to a new one

OP posts:
Original poster
Morph22010 · 02/02/2023 18:16

Emotionalsupportviper · 02/02/2023 12:54

"Complain" implies "blame".

If she wasn't trying to cause trouble for the lollipop lady why not just have a word with the woman herself, or send a "comment" in to the school (who could then have explained that the early stopping was a safety measure) rather than complain.

Show quote history

how can I have a word with her unless I yell out the window ? There’s no where to park up as it’s near a school

OP posts:
2bazookas · 02/02/2023 18:17

LPL just needs a bit more training; might be worth mentioning to the school she serves.

Original poster
Morph22010 · 02/02/2023 18:19

Moveoverdarlin · 02/02/2023 13:06

Please don’t complain to the council or school. This is probably a retired lady who wants to get out there and meet people and interact with little children and earn a little of cash. She obviously wouldn’t have a chat in the middle of the road, letting the traffic build up, but passing the time of day to someone who probably spoke to them first is not worthy of a complaint. Give her a break. You couldn’t get a more worthwhile job.

She’s doesn’t look retired unless she has very good genes in fact she looks younger than me, maybe early 40s

OP posts:
Original poster
Morph22010 · 02/02/2023 18:26

BloodAndFire · 02/02/2023 14:34

Why isn't it that simple?

If op can reliably and consistently get out of the house at e.g. 7.45, then she can reliably and consistently get out of the house at 7.35.

The zebra crossing is there. The lollipop lady is there. People who walk to school need to use the crossing.

If the choice is between leaving earlier or making a complaint about someone doing their job and making children safer walking to school, why would you choose the second one?

Show quote history

because I can’t reliably get out of the house at 745!!! As I’ve said my son is autistic and I aim to leave the house at 745 but because he is such hard work to get out at all we end up leaving anytime between 745 and 845! If I leave at 745 we are ok it’s when we leave after 815 there’s an issue

OP posts:
SuckingDownDarjeeling · 02/02/2023 18:28

Why are some people speaking as though people should just accept grown adults stopping for chats in the middle of the road? Is that what polite society has become?

SuckingDownDarjeeling · 02/02/2023 18:29

Or are people just missing the part where OP isn’t too fussed about the ‘doing her job’ part?

ivykaty44 · 02/02/2023 19:26

@SuckingDownDarjeeling whats the problem with people talking to each other for just 30 seconds whilst in the road?

SuckingDownDarjeeling · 02/02/2023 19:29

ivykaty44 · 02/02/2023 19:26

@SuckingDownDarjeeling whats the problem with people talking to each other for just 30 seconds whilst in the road?

Ummmm…. Really? Okay:

two extra people equals one extra minute.

if two people separately managed to hold me up for an extra minute while I was with g to drop my twins off as they screamed in my ear, I’d be PISSED

everyone there is there for the same purpose, so they know what’s going on.

so what isn’t the problem?

YANBU OP

ivykaty44 · 02/02/2023 19:29

Because I’ve been doing the same route for two years with no issues from pedestrians or cars, it’s a country route so generally no hold ups. It only changed a few months ago when the old lollipop last changed to a new one

so have you ever been held up by another driver on this route? you state generally there is no hold ups - does that imply there have been? and if so what where they and how did you deal with them?

ivykaty44 · 02/02/2023 19:33

@SuckingDownDarjeeling

the op states it was a 30 second chat, that doesn't make a minute

SuckingDownDarjeeling · 02/02/2023 20:02

🤦🏼‍♀️

SuckingDownDarjeeling · 02/02/2023 20:03

ivykaty44 · 02/02/2023 19:33

@SuckingDownDarjeeling

the op states it was a 30 second chat, that doesn't make a minute

Apologies. You’re right. Which person should we allow to chat for thirty seconds, and which one should we ask to come back for tomorrow’s 30 second slot?

Frabbits · 02/02/2023 20:04

ivykaty44 · 02/02/2023 19:26

@SuckingDownDarjeeling whats the problem with people talking to each other for just 30 seconds whilst in the road?

..because they can just get off the road and not hold other people up?

LikeAStar1994 · 02/02/2023 20:18

Once again I am truly amazed at the high levels of empathy on Scumsnet Mumsnet.

There is a time and a place to be "sociable" and bang in the middle of the road with waiting traffic is neither.

Clearly none of you have autistic kids.

ShakespearesBlister · 02/02/2023 20:18

We had one who used to stop Every. Single. Car. Couldn't just wait until there was a group of children at the crossing waiting to cross then walk them all over together. No, he had to cross Every. Single. Child. Individually. One. At. A. Time. Causing chaos with traffic flow and being completely over zealous. He caused absolute chaos at rush hour stopping every single bloody car. Couldn't just let a few cars past at a time. It was a nightmare getting anywhere at that time and you always knew when he was on duty because of the half mile tailbacks in every direction. We had another one who used to walk away from her post to berate people for dropping litter or not having their dog on a lead while ignoring the growing crowd of children waiting to cross behind her. One of the residents called her a c@nt and chucked a potato at her from their balcony once 🤦‍♂️

SuckingDownDarjeeling · 02/02/2023 20:19

I’m wondering if they have kids full stop. It seems like tea room logic.

SuckingDownDarjeeling · 02/02/2023 20:20

My previous post was a reply to you but my reply feature doesn’t work Confused

SuckingDownDarjeeling · 02/02/2023 20:20

😂😂 @LikeAStar1994

Kendodd · 02/02/2023 20:29

Maybe she's undercover Extinction Rebellion ?

Original poster
Morph22010 · 02/02/2023 21:01

ivykaty44 · 02/02/2023 19:29

Because I’ve been doing the same route for two years with no issues from pedestrians or cars, it’s a country route so generally no hold ups. It only changed a few months ago when the old lollipop last changed to a new one

so have you ever been held up by another driver on this route? you state generally there is no hold ups - does that imply there have been? and if so what where they and how did you deal with them?

I honestly can’t remember if I have or not, I’m guessing I must have been at some point, if it was a driver consistently holding me up doing the same thing each day I guess I’d remember but whether I’d be able to do anything about it or not would depend on what it was

OP posts:
ivykaty44 · 02/02/2023 21:41

I honestly can’t remember if I have or not, I’m guessing I must have been at some point, if it was a driver consistently holding me up doing the same thing each day I guess I’d remember but whether I’d be able to do anything about it or not would depend on what it was

it may not be the same driver, but different drivers doing the same thing

you mentioned there was a queue of traffic waiting for the LPL, are you always at the front of this queue?

no roundabouts or junctions where you have to wait for your chance to continue your journey as other drivers are travelling in different directions?

Original poster
Morph22010 · 02/02/2023 21:50

ivykaty44 · 02/02/2023 21:41

I honestly can’t remember if I have or not, I’m guessing I must have been at some point, if it was a driver consistently holding me up doing the same thing each day I guess I’d remember but whether I’d be able to do anything about it or not would depend on what it was

it may not be the same driver, but different drivers doing the same thing

you mentioned there was a queue of traffic waiting for the LPL, are you always at the front of this queue?

no roundabouts or junctions where you have to wait for your chance to continue your journey as other drivers are travelling in different directions?

no it’s pretty much straight through, it’s 10 miles and takes 20 mins and I had 3 points in the journey where I knew where I should be on 5 mins 10 mins and 15 mins as i got used to doing the journey every day, this is just after the 15 mins mark so it used to take me less than 5 mins from there to school. I’m not always at the front of the queue because it is a queue, so I start at the back and move a few cars forward each time

OP posts: