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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

I won't do cards.

87 replies

marshmallowcakes · 01/02/2023 17:03

I just refuse to do cards. Birthday, Christmas. I find it so pointless and a stamp is a pound and a trip to the post office is a pain when I have work etc.

I've stopped sending any cards at all. I thought we were heading into the age of technology. I don't see why cards are lingering about being a thing when we can easily send a fancy and snazzy message with moving pictures and sparkles.

Cards need to naff off, right?

OP posts:
BashirWithTheGoodBeard · 01/02/2023 17:32

minipie · 01/02/2023 17:10

I haven’t done cards for years. Thank yous are important but get sent by text or email. YANBU imo.

Same. Nor am I bothered for receiving them.

LadyMonicaBaddingham · 01/02/2023 17:34

I don't do a massive shot of Christmas cards like my parents and inlaws, etc do - they get cards because the world would end otherwise.

I send birthday cards to about half a dozen adults and a few children who I really care about but otherwise no, I don't.

Applesandcarrots · 01/02/2023 17:43

I have few birthday cards (now) to give with gifts, in any other case person gets a text.

But I am foreign heathen so I think I can get away with this. Until MN I didn't even know thank you cards were a thing!😂

I don't get them really.... Saying happy birthday etc should be enough? How did they come to be being such a part of British culture?

Riv · 01/02/2023 17:43

I would MUCH rather have a card than a gift! I keep my cards up for ages then have them in a pile next to me for a bit. I really enjoy them, re reading messages and/ or thinking about the person that sent it and the type of card they sent.
Something on my phone might be seen once, max. then deleted. It’s utilitarian, no thought, quick to do, basic, lazy and thoughtless.
Gifts I can take or leave. The ones I am usually given tend to be (expensive) useless tat anyway and mostly end up in the local charity shop. (Although I am dutifully grateful and write, a suitable thank you letter, with a real pen and paper and everything. )

DottieUncBab · 01/02/2023 17:47

HellyR · 01/02/2023 17:08

You don't need to go to the post office to send a card...

This!

Olidora · 01/02/2023 17:47

I definitely think that the elderly and lonely really appreciate a card . Texting and FB is a very lazy way of sending a special message to good friends and family.

ShellsOnTheBeach · 01/02/2023 17:48

I think a nice, thoughtful email is just as good if not better than cards.

I only give cards if I see the recipient in person, and it is virtually always a homemade card. I take time painting the cards, which they clearly appreciate.

Ragwort · 01/02/2023 17:50

Don't do them if you don't want to. Confused.

Personally I love sending and receiving a card ... as do most of my friends and family judging by the cards I receive. I don't buy presents though - that to me is an absolute waste of money and effort. Most adults much prefer to choose their own 'stuff' and don't need any more.

ShillyShallySherbet · 01/02/2023 17:52

Cards for close family and my very best friends but I just send a message to anyone else when it’s their birthday.

girlfriend44 · 01/02/2023 19:18

Have you not heard of funky pigeon etc. You don't need a stamp they do it all for you.

BashirWithTheGoodBeard · 01/02/2023 19:43

Olidora · 01/02/2023 17:47

I definitely think that the elderly and lonely really appreciate a card . Texting and FB is a very lazy way of sending a special message to good friends and family.

You mean the elderly you know. They're not a monolith.

bluefrog11 · 01/02/2023 19:44

Hate cards too. Although, happily, after many years of me not sending any Xmas cards we are now not receiving many in return.

I tend to “think like man” about stuff like this - do men do cards? Do they bugger. It’s typical “wife work” stuff.

I do them for my mum/mil as they get very upset if we don’t but I do think the idea of cards in general will die a slow death over the next 20 years.

maddy68 · 01/02/2023 19:45

I dont do them either. They are outdated and silly

Tinkerbyebye · 01/02/2023 19:46

No you are just very lazy, and will be showing family and friends how you simply cant be bothered

2chocolateoranges · 01/02/2023 19:48

I think a card for someone’s birthday is kind. It’s their special day and I love receiving birthday cards. Always send birthday cards to friends and family.

Christmas cards I don’t do, it’s everyone’s Christmas and seems pointless sending cards to everyone I know for the same day.

kathmacc · 01/02/2023 19:58

I absolutely send cards to the more elderly relatives and friends who are not on internet or are not internet savvy. From the feedback they really appreciate they are still in our thoughts.

MrsMikeDrop · 01/02/2023 20:04

Don't do them either, neve have. I do send people a message which I think also shows I am thinking of them

Firefightress1 · 01/02/2023 20:09

I've just posted a sorry for your loss card to my best friend, she's not in a good place and isn't replying to texts or messages as she is devastated.
I've put some of my memories of her lovely mum in the card, I hope she reads it and it hours her comfort to know I've taken the time to post a card. I love her to bits but stay too far away to be there.

Floofydawg · 01/02/2023 20:10

Agree. Cards need to get in the bin.

LikeAStar1994 · 01/02/2023 20:14
Hmm
TwoLeftSocksWithHoles · 01/02/2023 20:15

I think birthday cars are nice to receive, but I'm not bothered about christmas cards, I'm not religious, Thank God, so they're not relevant.

Mother's Day
Father's Day
Granny's Day
Teacher's Day
Card Manufacturer's Day
Traffic Warden's Day

They're all just money spinners from Hallmark and the like.

JeepersCreepersWheredYaGetThosePeepers · 01/02/2023 20:17

I'm not bothered about Christmas cards but a birthday card is nice to receive.

I'd be hurt if I didn't get one from family.

bakewellbride · 01/02/2023 20:18

Stuff like this reminds me of my BIL. He gave us nothing for our wedding. MIL explained this wasn't really the done thing so bought him a card and all he had to do was sign it and then she'd make sure it reached us. He refused to even do that - 'we don't do cards' so mean.

mondaytosunday · 01/02/2023 20:22

Love cards! Much better than an email or text.
I found out (in a Christmas card) that a friend's brother committed suicide. I'm writing a card back. An email seems to cheap and easy.

StaunchMomma · 01/02/2023 20:24

I think it's heading that way in the long run as people won't want to waste so much paper/card but I do send to family and close friends.