Waking at 5 (or earlier) 7 days a week is draining me

[Nightsgettinglighter]

I hate it. I don’t have any evening because I have to go to bed so early in order to get a decent amount of sleep.

I don’t know why my toddler wakes so early, have tried the just treating it as a night wake up but it doesn’t work.

Has anyone got any suggestions at all? Desperate.

This was happening here, it has slightly improved by pushing DD's bed time until between 7:30-8pm but obviously depends on age of your DC. She still wakes up at 6 mind, just better than 5!

Yeah we're the same DD is not quite 2 and gets up between 4:30 and 5 every morning no matter what we do with her bedtime or general routine. Considering dropping the nap next but that'll also probably not change anything 😂 it's hard isn't it?

Sorry no magic solutions as it is a common phase. All I managed to do was adjust my schedule so if I got up at five did e.g. cooking, washing etc. and then in the evening there was less to do. What time does your toddler go to bed? Presumably you get between about 7/8 until 10 for yourself?

Do you have a partner you can alternate with?

My child has always been a very early waker (4:30am-5:30am). We tried everything to get them to sleep later but nothing worked. In the end, we just went to bed earlier. Now they are 10 and still waking 4:30am ish but no longer needing supervision. It’s been like that for 3-4 years now. So
magic solution but you will be so glad of it when school
comes and you don’t have to wake them! I am up at 6am and they are fully dressed and ready to go!

Hang it there. It will pass. We got our 5am walking toddler a gro clock and set it to turn to the sun at 6am and told him that was getting up time. He was allowed to play with his toys and books in his room till then. That worked for him as he is a rule follower. Our earlier riser continued to wake between 5-6am until the teenage hormones hit. But by the time he was around 4 years old, we set up the kitchen so he could help himself to breakfast and watch some tv. We used to wake up when he got up and I stayed awake to keep an ear out but it was great not to get out of bed.
Being constantly tired was the thing I struggled most with with young children. I used to tell myself “one day you won’t be tired”. I used to sacrifice my evenings to not be tired. I found I liked to be in bed by 9pm and do it still now when I can.
would they come into bed with you and watch CBeebies on an ipad for sometime?

It’s a relief it’s not just me, not that I want anyone else to suffer obviously!

I’ve tried bringing bedtime later (and earlier) and doesn’t seem to make a difference. I think we might be at that funny stage with naps (2 years 2 months) but he does still seem to need it. And always goes to sleep really well.

I do go to bed early but I find it a pain if I’m honest, it’s even things like not getting to watch tv programmes I’d like to or have any ‘real’ adult time!

my DD would go back to sleep in my bed if she woke at that time whereas my DS is awake for the day; after weeks of trying to get him back to sleep I now let him watch something on the tablet when he wakes before 6am and I snooze. It doesn’t win parenting of the year but does mean I get a little sleep. I also share it with DH and get a decent lie in at the weekend

You say you've tried changing bedtime - but for how long? You need to stick with it for a good while before deciding it doesn't work. You may also need to change other parts of your routine, e.g. meal times - try thinking of it like jet lag.

Sympathies, I could not hack that. Its bad enough my dd doesn't slept til 10 (on a good day) even without a nap, as the only way I get any time to myself is to stay up til midnight, utterly I prefer that to seeing sunrise. No tips though, as nothing can persuade her to change her schedule!

Mine won’t sleep with me, just lies there booting me 😫

It definitely passes. My 10 year old now sleeps until 9 or 10 at the weekends. I know it seems far away but there is hope.

Have you tried bringing her I to bed with you and sticking Peppa pig on and dozing? That's what I used to do.

This too shall pass but it's totally shit at the time!

Both my children went through this phase and it nearly killed me off, hang on in there, I promise it will get better. I never thought I'd get a lie in again but now my children are older I do get to sleep in occasionally!

If you can drop the nap it will definitely help although that's tough aswell. My son stopped napping at 15 months but slept from 7 to 7 before that he was waking three times a night then up at 4.30 or 5am.

My daughter went continental with her two year old. He has a late nap around 2-3 till 4-5, has dinner at 8, bath at nine, watches telly in bed on her phone when she goes to bed, lights out around 10-11. He wakes up at 8-9 and is a chirpy, happy child. Unless he’s teething, that’s a whole other story! She has no evening, but she’s not sleep deprived.

On no can remember this stage up at 5 followed by full day at work. Lay on sofa and let them play/tv. Worst time was when clocks changed. Now a distant memo but do sympathise. A shame that most are so exhausted to fully enjoy the special years.
As a gran I help with overnights, so parents do get some, couple or lie in time. Think it is so important for physical and mental health, retired very early so lucky to be able to help. Early nights the key and it will pass soon. Soon you will be moaning about lazy teenagers lol. In hindsight teenage year the most stressful, not physically but emotionally sorry!

Been there and feel your pain. For us a Gro clock worked well. It takes time. First you set it 10 mins later than they normally wake and tell them they must stay in bed and quiet till the sun comes up. If they get up back to bed, minimal talking 'the sun's not up yet'. Each day move it forward a bit, you will end up with 30mins to an hour of hearing them talking, reading playing in bed but eventually it turns into sleeping a but longer. And at least it's not you up and entertaining from 5. Good luck, it does pass. I remember that we'd be back to square one every time they were ill or the clocks changed too.

Oh my goodness reading this is bringing back memories and making me feel a little sick.. I don’t think anyone could have tried more approaches than me - but my eldest DS woke at 5.15 every morning until he was about 15. I think that knowing you’re not doing anything wrong, and that there’s probably nothing you can do to fix it, might help a bit. Sooner than you think you will be able to leave them for a couple of hours in the morning to do their own thing, but yes in the meantime the relentlessness of it is unimaginable for anyone who hasn’t experienced it. Sympathy from me.

DS at this age often got up aat 4:30. It was sole destroying. No amount of "treat it as if it is a night wake up" worked. It did gradually get better, but it took time. He's 5 now and this week at slpet past 7 3 times!!

Things that helped for me - going to bed early, alternating lie ins at the weekend and, when they are safe to do so, allowing them to watch TV on their own for a bit before you get up (or snoozing on the sofa while they do).

Just to add, don’t beat yourself up if the clock thing doesn’t work. We had one with bunny’s ears - the plan being that you couldn’t get up till the bunny’s ears were up. DS used to come in all through the night to ask when the bunny would wake up. It does work really well for some kids though so worth a try. Sometimes I just used to cry and literally beg for sleep - the worst being one time when the baby went back to sleep at 5.09 after a two hour feed and then DS woke up at 5.12. My how we laugh about that now…

It's horrific, it absolutely is. I'm not far out of this stage, I just adjusted my whole life. I'd bet to work at 9 and be looking to eat my lunch by 10.30, my colleagues thought I was nuts. Dinner by 4.30, bed by 7.30.....it was the only way I could survive as I need sleep, just don't cope without it.
It will pass, it is a phase, just don't fight it is my advice.

@TrippinEdBalls you probably make a good point. It’s so hard as there’s a lot of contradictory advice out there. I’m not sure whether to bring bedtime forward or later. And for how long?

He will watch a tablet for a bit - don’t really like doing that but needs must - but then gets restless.

I might try a Gro clock but I’m not sure he’d understand it very well. He is still in a cot so what I’m really saying is to be quiet until the sun comes up! And also I obviously don’t want him not to call out if he’s wet or cold or similar, but he’s unlikely to get that nuance at his age

DD needed A LOT of exercise from the outset. Despite it being inconvenient I ditched the pushchair quite early as I realised that if she'd had plenty of walking/climbing etc. she would be happier during the day and get a full night's sleep.

She's still the same now at 5y. If she hasn't had exercise she is grouchy and will wake early. The correlation is definite.

If you do decide to get your toddler walking a lot, make sure he has good shoes for this phase. We always found Bobux good - they follow the 'barefoot' shoe principles but have enough structure and waterproofing to be practical.

Other thing to mention is that despite me being really quite persistent in encouraging a daytime nap for both our sakes(!) DD dropped her nap at 23 months. I was horrified! I still put her in the cot after lunch every day in the hope the nap would return but she just sat in there playing/talking to herself. From dropping the nap her daytime routine shifted so she was waking at 6:30ish and I'd do bedtime at 6 pm so she was generally asleep by 7.

Do they wake for a feed?

Please don't do this. TV before bed is really detrimental, and likely to cause issues for them when they are older if they need TV to fall asleep.

Firstly start using a grow clock, even if it's ignored at first. Treat any time before the time you want him up as you would 2am, back to bed.
If he does get up then just make it extremely boring, no breakfast, no fun toys, no tv or screens, no playing with him until 'morning'.
You lie still and don't engage.
Keep this up and you'll find he's likely to start observing the clock.
We say no getting out of bed or making nose until the clock wakes up.
We've gone from 5am to 7am.