My Mum's funeral today and terrified to sleep please can somebody talk to me

[toastywarmslippers]

I am utterly exhausted after weeks of watching my mum die. Funeral today. My DP has finally had to go home for work after weeks away and I am in an Airbnb alone.

There is some arsehole fucking roaring up and down the street outside every now and again, and I am on the verge of sobbing in fear, I am at the end of my rope and need to relax and sleep and terrified he will break in and fucking stab me or something.

I just need to sleep I am so sleep deprived and wrung out.

Call 101 and tell them that this man is making you feel vulnerable as you are a woman on your own in an unfamiliar house.

Then make another cup of tea and make yourself comfortable in bed.
Check your alarm is set, then stop trying to sleep.
Watch cute kittens and adorable puppies on YouTube, or Masterchef or The Repair Shop on iPlayer, or similar stuff that doesn't worry you or tax your brain.
Stop trying to sleep. You WILL fall asleep eventually.

And I'm sorry for your loss 💐

Every noise in the house now is utterly terrifying me am I going mad? There was a massive bang that was possibly just something creaking but what if it was him throwing something at the glass?

I feel frozen to the settee with fear, my heart is beating so fast and I feel like I can't make my legs walk out of this room into the rest of the house in case what? I don't know.

I'm scared to go upstairs I'm so so scared, I'm starting to get a migraine and now I'm also scared I'm losing my mind.

I'm so sorry.
Maybe call the Samaritans?
They talk to anyone in distress - not just those contemplating ending it all.

You’re not losing your mind. You’re exhausted. You’ve been through so much and have an emotional day ahead of you, I’m sure I would feel the same.
No one should feel terrified by someone else like this, please call the police.

I agree with calling the police.

If you frame it as an aggressive man who is scaring the life out of you and sounds "ill" then they will have to come out as it is a welfare issue.

They wont hang around outside your house for but will drive around trying to find him and it sounds like it wont take much for them to do that. Chances are someone else has already called too so (speaking for myself), I would find it comforting to know that the police are already on the case. If I lived there then I would certainly have called.

I can well imagine how you are feeling, sleep deprivation and exhaustion, coupled with grief.....no wonder you are absolutely strung out. I think anyone in your situation would feel the same.

Honestly, lovely, it sounds as though you are having a panic attack.

And understandably so.

Just breathe slowly, for a a few minutes and get yourself back under control.

Do you have a mate you could phone for a few minutes? I'm sure you are absolutely exhausted, but do your Mum proud tomorrow. Then go and cry with your friends and ask for a cuddle. And some cake.

Please call the police. That's what they're there for.

@toastywarmslippers
Oh, you poor love. What a lot to be having to deal with at once. No wonder it all feels overwhelming.

I, too, hope you've got real life support around you tomorrow. Then, no matter what emotions you need to let out, you'll be in a safe space to do so.

Remember that it's for others to be there for YOU during this difficult time...no need to restrain yourself or put on a front. Reach out to anybody and everybody available.

Sounds like you've absolutely given your utmost these past weeks, and that's no mean feat. Exhaustion and grief.

PLEASE, PLEASE ring 101 now, and explain your situation. They will take it seriously. You deserve more than suffering feeling scared and vulnerable.

Meanwhile, maybe record what you're currently being subjected to on your phone, if you can safely do so?
(I mean just from where you're currently sitting).

@Vinotinto78
Sorry for the loss of your Dad x

Handy, if you need to halt rising panic:

Are you okay

I'm fairly sure he isn't going to break in and that you, under all the stress and being in an unknown place, are freaking out and that's absolutely normal and reasonable. Hopefully you've gone up to the room, put on some white noise and are now getting some much needed sleep and strength for tomorrow.

Sending you big hugs OP , it's just because you are mentally exhausted and dealing with grief and sadness . I agree it sounds like you're having a panic attack . Watch something relaxing 💐

You poor thing OP. Sending you a comforting hug. Honestly, you sound utterly done and exhausted, which is completely understandable.

The likelihood of this person breaking into your Airbnb is extremely slim, but as others have suggested no harm at all in calling the police. Chances are one of your neighbours will be considering the same thing, if they have not already done so. The police will drive around and see if they can find him.

I hope you have managed to get to sleep and that you pick these later messages up in the morning. This is a horrible time for you but you'll get through it and these heightened feelings you're having will pass.

As another poster has suggested, reach out to anyone and everyone for support. In the meantime, I do hope you're sleeping. 🙏

I hope that you're getting some well needed rest, and that tomorrow is gentle for you.

Sorry for your loss call the police x

Really hope you are sleeping peacefully now

My mum died in 2016 and I still remember the day I found out and the day of her funeral.

you will be okay.

It isn't loud unhinged nutcases that, do bad stuff,op.

Hope you've managed to get some sleep

I hope you have managed to get some rest @toastywarmslippers

Thinking of you today OP xxx

Hope you managed some sleep OP and so sorry to hear about your Mum x

OP, I hope you managed to get some sleep. Thinking of you today.

@toastywarmslippers
Sending you strength for today x

Sending love and strength.
No one expects you to be composed and 'brave' on the day of a parent's funeral. Release those emotions OP.