Page 3 | Dd11 year 7 sleepover

Life350 · 2023-01-31T17:15:56+00:00

So dd wants a sleepover at her friends i don’t feel comfortable with it as the dad allows vaping and on one occasion the elder sibling was really horrible to my dd when she was there she is desperate to go I am known for being over protective but I just worry about this one so much iv told her I’ll pick her up late and she’s really really laying it on wwyd is it me being to over protective or do I need to stick to my guns

Original poster

Life350 · 01/02/2023 08:07

00100001 · 01/02/2023 08:04

It was avoid thing the phones were taken away. Means they'll actually be with each other instead of mindlessly scrolling tiktok and WhatsApping stupid photos and god knows what.

Your daughter was always able to tell an adult she was struggling. Even if you set up a code word with them both before hand.

As for the vaping rumour.... Who's even told you this?

my Dd told me!

OP posts:

whataboutsecondbreakfast · 01/02/2023 08:13

Life350 · 01/02/2023 07:57

I’m trying to be reasonable about it but so worried still not heard feom
her yet

You need to calm down.

If there was a problem, the mum would have phoned you.

It's only 8am - they're probably asleep or chatting in bed!

Dacadactyl · 01/02/2023 08:38

OP, I mean this very kindly but you need to very quickly get help for this anxiety and fear you have around your DD. The next few years will become absolute hell for both of you if you don't.

Soon she will be wanting to go to town by herself on the bus, go to the park, cinema or shopping with friends and then parties etc. You need to be able to cope with this as it's a normal part of her development and you will be massively stunting her if you carry on in this way. You will also create anxiety within her too.

From your first post I thought you didn't know the family at all, so I understood part of your concerns around the vaping particularly. Your follow up posts show a huge issue because you know the family and shouldnt be so worried.

Don't worry that you've not heard from her yet, she's probably still asleep.

Does she do anything on her own? Get the bus to school or anything?

Greenraincoat12 · 01/02/2023 08:56

I hosted my year 7 DD's sleepover a few weeks ago (a Saturday). I made sure DD knew the ground rules and she took that very seriously.
The week leading up to it we had some attitude so I changed my mind and we had lots of tears and she said she'd had a bad week and it was the only thing making her happy (I believed her but gosh the emotional manipulation of preteens).
They all had fun and whilst I do get anxious, I tried to relax and trust them. I made sure all parents had my number. They either text or rang to check I knew about it 😂. One parent took great enjoyment in saying I was crazy, to which I laughed and said "for my sins" 🙄
I don't drink, smoke or own a dog and I would never take their phones off them. When one of them wanted a shower I made sure the rest of the family were downstairs and out of the way. When they all wanted to cook (yes cook) I sat with them (didn't care how uncool that was). They did want to go outside a lot so I hovered and checked they weren't up to no good.
It was nice to see them all having fun and doing girly stuff, they'd wander round the house and chat to my younger son and let him join in the makeup session. They were a nice bunch.
The hardest part is the thought of "I have to keep them all safe". I was never allowed sleep overs so I like that DD gets to do the things I didn't.

I hope your DC had fun OP.

JazbayGrapes · 01/02/2023 09:17

You should host a sleepover yourself. If you can't have all the friends, just have one or two. Hearsay about dad allowing vaping may be not a major danger, but a nasty older sibling totally can.

Cocobutt · 01/02/2023 09:51

They were probably up late chatting so will sleep in.

The fact that mum took their phones away is a good sign that she is responsible and looking out for their safety.

Original poster

Life350 · 01/02/2023 10:38

Greenraincoat12 · 01/02/2023 08:56

I hosted my year 7 DD's sleepover a few weeks ago (a Saturday). I made sure DD knew the ground rules and she took that very seriously.
The week leading up to it we had some attitude so I changed my mind and we had lots of tears and she said she'd had a bad week and it was the only thing making her happy (I believed her but gosh the emotional manipulation of preteens).
They all had fun and whilst I do get anxious, I tried to relax and trust them. I made sure all parents had my number. They either text or rang to check I knew about it 😂. One parent took great enjoyment in saying I was crazy, to which I laughed and said "for my sins" 🙄
I don't drink, smoke or own a dog and I would never take their phones off them. When one of them wanted a shower I made sure the rest of the family were downstairs and out of the way. When they all wanted to cook (yes cook) I sat with them (didn't care how uncool that was). They did want to go outside a lot so I hovered and checked they weren't up to no good.
It was nice to see them all having fun and doing girly stuff, they'd wander round the house and chat to my younger son and let him join in the makeup session. They were a nice bunch.
The hardest part is the thought of "I have to keep them all safe". I was never allowed sleep overs so I like that DD gets to do the things I didn't.

I hope your DC had fun OP.

Oh yes the emotional manipulation to get what they want but I know my dd was so desperate to just chill with them. She’s been in touch abs is ok so now going into town with them! Iv transferred some money and made sure phone is charged life 360 is on
safety talk given yet again about keeping in public and keeping away Fromm arguments
i on the other hand have picked up my meds and looked into parenting courses
I read far too much daily mail too and the stories in there scare me!

OP posts:

00100001 · 01/02/2023 17:11

Life350 · 01/02/2023 08:07

my Dd told me!

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And you believe she's reporting the exact truth?