About this hen do?

[Nucsd]

There are about 25 of us going abroad for three nights for a hen do.

One of the bridesmaids messaged the group to give us instructions about dress themes. She said we're all to wear bright colours on night two. Another hen suggested all black with only the hen in colour. She was told no, the bride wouldn't want people in black. Bridesmaid reiterated bright colours, and 'banned' anyone from wearing black. Two women have said they are wearing black and that is that, and it's become quite the argument.

Who is BU?

YABU - Everyone should do as BM asks. It won't hurt anyone to wear colour instead of black.

YANBU - Bridesmaid should drop the themes and let people wear whatever they want.

And yes, it's very petty, and no, it isn't that biggest thing any of us have to worry about.

Bright colours is quite an easy dress code

I'm an ex goth 😂 I literally own nothing bright

I think my only objection would be buying something especially for the hen do if I didn't have to. To avoid an argument I might just say I'll decide closer to the time what I'll wear or not say but then surely no one would say anything on the night.

Suit jackets on evening, because DH to be wears suits a lot.

We've all had to transfer money so we could all get the same dog-face t-shirt thing for one of the days on the beach.

This bright colour theme.

And we apparently have to find a dress under £10 from sales and charity shops for the last day.

Planned games include dares such as having to find a man wearing blue and having our photo taken with him.

My sympathy to you on this terrible occasion 😂

The bridesmaid is taking the piss a bit with all of those demands.

Someone should tell her to rein it in.

Oh yes. And someone please needs to update here when there's another thread of "some b*tch is trying torpedo the amazing wonderful hen night I'm organising - WHY CANT THEY JUST WEAR WHAT I WANT THEM TO"

My hen, many moons ago, was a piss up in a local pub then follow on to a nightclub in the nearest city. It was great - at the time - and very affordable. Asking friends and family to spend hundreds in money and days in time, whilst dictating a dress code is self indulgent madness. You go into city centers now and see mini busses pulling up with tiara wearing high healed hens wearing pink teeshirts printed "Hannah's Hens" and walk swiftly in the opposite direction. I'm a boring old snob though.

I would be testing positive for covid just before departure. This organised ‘fun’ is hell on a stick.

The bright colours theme isn’t too bad- it’s not that specific that you can’t fulfil the brief. It’s my idea of hell but that started with the idea of being asked to go away for three days abroad for someone’s hen. Seems bizarre to kick up a fuss over the smaller issue in the bigger picture.

I was going to say bright colours until I seen your updates with all the other demands! That's just ridiculous to expect people to just keep handing out more and more money night after night.

Why do hen do’s and weddings turn sensible women into batshit fucking crazies? It’s baffling.

I’d tell them to shove their dress code up their arse. 🤷🏻‍♀️

See I was going to say they should just wear colour, it’s part and parcel of a hen do. But now I see you have to do all of this too!! This is way too much for 3 days 😬

I would come up with a positive Covid test before i subjected myself to that nonsense.

Haha see I voted YABU because a bright dress doesn't seem like much of an ask, until the dripfeed that it is one of FOUR themes including a dog face t-shirt!! 😄😄 Amazing, they've lost it! So you're not actually allowed to choose an outfit for the entire trip?!

The BM is being ridiculous to try to dictate to anyone what they wear on holiday.

However, the 'objecters' are being ridiculous to start an argument about it.
They could either put in some comment suggesting the BM relaxes a bit - that people are just there for a short break, or keep quiet then just go "Oh sorry, I forgot" if she says anything on the night.
All that said, I can't see that "wear bright colours" is the night that is particularly restrictive. That sounds much easier / more pleasant / less hassle than the idea of having to buy and wear a matching T-shirt or having to take a suit jacket on a weekend break abroad.

But then, I would have turned down the invitation in the first place, so you only have yourselves to blame really.

I am too close to the bride to not go on her hen do without it seeming very weird and like a snub. I would love to be able to get out of it.

I don’t have any bright colours really. If it was a special occasion I could probably buy or borrow something without too much disturbance. If I was asked to after having to sort out all the holiday admin, borrow a suit jacket, buy “normal” holiday stuff I needed, buy a dog t-shirt etc and to do all of this for such fun activities as “take a selfie with a disinterested stranger” then I might be so close to the end of my rope that this would push me off.

😂 Are you allowed to wear your own pyjamas??

You are a true friend OP. Keep us updated please.

Does DH to be have any distinguishing features like glasses or mustache? You could could add those to your evening outfit!

Been there done that !!!

Ended up in a break off group of 6 as we couldnt decide on anything ! There were arguments over clothes, which bars to drink in, when to eat, even which part of the beach we sunbathed on.......

Good luck OP and keep us posted !

Ps our break off group had the best girly weekend out of the 22 !!

YANBU X

I am quite anti-big fussy hen dos as any good mumsnetter should be, but I can't imagine getting wound up over being asked to wear a bright colour. It's hardly a big deal.

I was in Edinburgh a few years ago when I saw a group of hens in matching outfits doing a conga line up Princes Street. The lead person had a massive plastic penis on her head. It was about 4pm. Quite extraordinary.

This thread is prime DM and TaB fodder OP. Your sister and her BM are going to go fucking nuts with you!

The suit jackets thing sounds utterly bonkers.

That is all ridiculous. I’d probably go along with it but it’s ridiculous.

Especially the suit jackets because the groom wears suits a lot - that’s hardly an unusual thing for a man surely? I mean slightly less common post pandemic for me to wear suits every day but hardly a weird personality quirk.

Tell me there’s plenty of alcohol at least to get you through?