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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To give back pushchair mil gave me?

32 replies

Calyco · 30/01/2023 10:45

First off, I realise I am fortunate in this situation. When we had my DS my MIL bought us the Bugaboo Fox 3 pushchair. It works well and has plenty of storage, but it is massive and is hard to get in and out of our house and takes up a lot of space. We live in London so space is at a premium. We already had a pushchair at the time and ours is much better suited to London life (folds down small, light, easily fits on buses, etc). Would I be horrible to give MIL back the pushchair she bought us ?

OP posts:
Star81 · 30/01/2023 10:46

How old is the baby ?

Original poster
Calyco · 30/01/2023 10:49

15 months now.

OP posts:
Thatiswild · 30/01/2023 10:51

Why don’t you say you don’t really have space for it and it’s been great while younger but could you keep it at hers now or would she like it back to sell or does she want you to sell it? Do you think that could work?

MissyB1 · 30/01/2023 10:51

Just pop it in the loft and if they ask say that as baby is older now their needs from a pushchair have changed. Or you could ask if they want to use it at their house and keep it there?

MatildaTheCat · 30/01/2023 10:53

Can’t you stick it in the loft? Failing that you could tell her really nicely that your DC is now big enough for a lightweight buggy which is better suited to your needs now and what would she like you to do with the original?

would you use it with a subsequent baby if that’s on the cards? Or are there other family members who’d use it?

ReamsOfCheese · 30/01/2023 10:53

Thatiswild · 30/01/2023 10:51

Why don’t you say you don’t really have space for it and it’s been great while younger but could you keep it at hers now or would she like it back to sell or does she want you to sell it? Do you think that could work?

This is perfect. Then you could get a little cheap umbrella buggy for out and about if you wanted.

Original poster
Calyco · 30/01/2023 11:08

Thatiswild · 30/01/2023 10:51

Why don’t you say you don’t really have space for it and it’s been great while younger but could you keep it at hers now or would she like it back to sell or does she want you to sell it? Do you think that could work?

That's what I was thinking of doing, but have been hesitant to do in case of giving offense.

OP posts:
Original poster
Calyco · 30/01/2023 11:10

MatildaTheCat · 30/01/2023 10:53

Can’t you stick it in the loft? Failing that you could tell her really nicely that your DC is now big enough for a lightweight buggy which is better suited to your needs now and what would she like you to do with the original?

would you use it with a subsequent baby if that’s on the cards? Or are there other family members who’d use it?

We don't have a loft. We live in a small terraced house in London. Not much space. I would use it for another child, but my other pushchair honestly works fine for that too and takes up much less space.

OP posts:
CakeCrumbs44 · 30/01/2023 11:14

I wouldn't give it back, she wouldn't have any use for it so that would be a bit strange to me. You've used it for 15 months, you could just put it away and if she asks just say he's older now so you're moving on to a pushchair rather than a travel system. Put it away for a next child or sell it.

NormaTheWife · 30/01/2023 11:15

Did she buy it for you without consulting you?

BernadetteRostankowskiWolowitz · 30/01/2023 11:16

"Hi MIL, we've switched to a smaller stroller now, as while the Fox was excellent for him when he was little, we just need a little folding thing I can carry when he toddles around. Just checking if you have anyone in mind to pass it onto next? I'd hate to sell or donate it if you had anyone in mind for it. Let me know"

Original poster
Calyco · 30/01/2023 11:19

NormaTheWife · 30/01/2023 11:15

Did she buy it for you without consulting you?

Did not consult me at all. She saw someone walking with one and thought it would be perfect for us.

OP posts:
NormaTheWife · 30/01/2023 11:20

Calyco · 30/01/2023 11:19

Did not consult me at all. She saw someone walking with one and thought it would be perfect for us.

Show quote history

Oh dear that's not good, is it? I would sell it on.

Original poster
Calyco · 30/01/2023 11:23

CakeCrumbs44 · 30/01/2023 11:14

I wouldn't give it back, she wouldn't have any use for it so that would be a bit strange to me. You've used it for 15 months, you could just put it away and if she asks just say he's older now so you're moving on to a pushchair rather than a travel system. Put it away for a next child or sell it.

My thought was maybe she could have it at her house for when he or one of his cousins visits. She lives in a much larger house and would have room, but maybe that would be weird.

OP posts:
BubziOwl · 30/01/2023 11:32

BernadetteRostankowskiWolowitz · 30/01/2023 11:16

"Hi MIL, we've switched to a smaller stroller now, as while the Fox was excellent for him when he was little, we just need a little folding thing I can carry when he toddles around. Just checking if you have anyone in mind to pass it onto next? I'd hate to sell or donate it if you had anyone in mind for it. Let me know"

This is what I'd go for

Ellie1015 · 30/01/2023 11:39

I think offering it back for her to use for other grandchildren or to give to someone else is the polite thing to do. She can take it back or agree to you donating it/selling it.

Rooiboss · 30/01/2023 11:56

The bugaboo fox 3 is a brilliant lightweight and very expensive top of the range pushchair!! It can be collapsed down really compact with the wheels off etc. There must be more to your reasoning of giving it back?

Original poster
Calyco · 30/01/2023 12:01

Rooiboss · 30/01/2023 11:56

The bugaboo fox 3 is a brilliant lightweight and very expensive top of the range pushchair!! It can be collapsed down really compact with the wheels off etc. There must be more to your reasoning of giving it back?

I know it is expensive, but it is fairly large and does not collapse small at all. It is not nearly as light as my other pushchair. It is the same width as our front entry and so is difficult to fit through that area. It is also wider than our baby gates so we have to lift it over so that we don't clog up the entry. It would be great in a different house, but it is in no way ideal for our current residence.

OP posts:
Whynobreadpudding · 30/01/2023 12:09

Sell it then. I am sure many would be grateful of it at a good price.

TheObstinateHeadstrongGirl · 30/01/2023 12:10

That’s fine, and good if you to not just sell it!

Just say baby has grown out of it but thanks so much for the lend

Mrsjayy · 30/01/2023 12:13

Calyco · 30/01/2023 10:49

15 months now.

Why don't you say baby is growing out of it the lightweight one is better. You can see if she wants to sell it .

Calmdown14 · 30/01/2023 12:16

Your child is at an age where the shift to an umbrella/front facing is pretty normal.

Just say 'thanks so much, it's been brilliant but DC is now moving to the next stage.
I didn't want to sell it in case you want to use it with your other DC as it's such a lovely buggy. Unfortunately we just don't have the storage now DC is in the big plastic toy phase/ not keen on staying in it!
Just let me know what you want to do.
Thanks again for getting it for us.'

Star81 · 30/01/2023 12:32

Well at 18months I’d say that we’ve moved onto a smaller one now as not used as much and is there any chance she could store it at hers and use for visitors and maybe in the future if you have any more children you could use it again. Am sure she will understand your lack of space / storage to keep it.

Moanycowbag · 30/01/2023 12:35

Star81 · 30/01/2023 12:32

Well at 18months I’d say that we’ve moved onto a smaller one now as not used as much and is there any chance she could store it at hers and use for visitors and maybe in the future if you have any more children you could use it again. Am sure she will understand your lack of space / storage to keep it.

This, she must know you don't have room to store it, so just ask her to either store it for next baby, sell it or let visiting family use it.

EzzieM · 30/01/2023 12:37

Get DH to deal with MIL.

Tell him to say its been fab and you are both so grateful but your DD doesn’t need it anymore and you don’t have room to store it so you’d like to sell it but would she prefer to have it back so she can use it with other children instead?

Be careful. My parents are downsizing and having a clear out and constantly returning gifts I gave them years ago and I find it very upsetting, I’d much rather they just quietly gave the stuff away if they don’t value it enough to keep it.