If covid never happened…

[Ehheheh]

I’ve been reflecting a lot lately on where I am in my life and where my DC are and one thing that I don’t think is publicly talked about enough is the pandemic. Clearly, it was incredibly traumatic for a lot of people so it’s understandable many are keen to move on from it. However, I’ve been thinking how dramatically it changed the world and we rapidly pivoted away from a whole way of life. Some of the changes have definitely been for the better (personally and globally) but others not so much

• My kids mental health would be much better

• I wouldn’t be in my current job

• Boris Johnson would likely still be PM
• climate change would be a far bigger issue politically

• My DC would have had a more normal teenage years of their life

• A lot of the economic troubles we are having now wouldn’t be happening (granted Ukraine has caused a lot of it but covid has definitely contributed)
• I would be far more social and probably have a lot more friendships I kept up with

So many other things I could list. So aibu to ask if covid never happened how would your life personally be different and how would the world be different in your opinion?

A mixed bag really. I pretty much lost both my main job and secondary income in one fell swoop, but landed another job which has given me enough security to leave my toxic ex-DP.

Lockdown exacerbated the cracks in our relationship and made me realise I didn't want to live like that, especially through difficult times.

My Nan wouldn't have spent the last year of my granddad's life separated from him, as he was confined to a nursing home following a rapid deterioration in his dementia.

I spent a solid three months with DD pretty much alone, and it was the loneliest time in my life, but I look back now and feel pretty privileged that I got that time with her, especially as I had PND following her birth.

I still occasionally wonder how the fuck that happened. That moment watching Boris shut us down was an enormous, paradigm-shifting moment for me - I realised we were living through something historic.

My mum wouldn't have died alone, with covid, in hospital.

My dad wouldn't be ill, and I wouldn't worry about my loved ones constantly.

I wouldn't have gotten ill and still be struggling with the after effects of that, physically, mentally and socially.

My SIL probably wouldn’t have had a serious illness, or would have at least went to hospital sooner but didn’t because no one was supposed to go anywhere or go to hospital.

I probably wouldn’t have lost my second baby.

I wouldn’t have felt totally gaslit at work. therefore I would have been much happier.

My feeling is that workplaces generally wouldn’t be as totally vampiric as they are now. There was very much a “make do, soldier on, stay safe” attitude. Which workplace now has turned into “be grateful you have a job. And continue to do extra forever”.

I would have been able to have a normal pregnancy, I didn't get to see my mum until I was 7 or 8 month pregnant. I never saw a colleague whilst openly pregnant (shared the news at 12 weeks).

I would have received some form of after birth support. I received none.

I would have been able to share my new born with my friends and family rather than in the pouring rain in a country park pretending it was normal.

The first year of his life wouldn't have been severely impacted along with my maternity leave and general wellbeing.

I probably wouldn't have been made redundant

I probably wouldn't have fallen out with my best friend

But

I wouldn't have decided to move house and have a much better lifestyle now

I wouldn't have a full time WFH job, I decided I loved it and that was my non negotiable

It was an incredibly hard time at a life changing moment in my life

I don't think I'd be single, before lockdown we were fairly happy although there were some problems, lockdown and having to shoulder the full financial situation as exDP was self employed led to the eventual split, we had plans to try for a baby in 2021 but split up instead.

Like others in the thread I wouldn't have had to watch funerals of loved ones remotely and could've had last moments to say goodbye.

On a positive side I got my finances under control thanks to WFH after ex left so I'm in a better place and I learned that I'm totally capable of living alone and actually enjoy it

Unsurprised but so sorry to read all the stories of avoidable deaths, avoidably awful deaths, avoidably traumatic funerals.

For my part, we were 'lucky' in that we've come out the other side healthy, alive, and just about solvent. But -

• my mental health would be stronger

• my career would almost certainly have progressed further, and therefore my income

• I'd probably be (in spite of the market) in a position to sell my too-small flat in the wrong location, and buy a big-enough (for growing opposite-sex siblings to have a bedroom each) house where we really want to live. I'm kind of reconciled to this, have nice plans for better setup of my bedroom now it's clear that my 5yo and I are together for the longer-haul, but it's not where I'd expected to be

Hybrid working post-covid is not much different to me that my pre-covid work - when I went back from second mat leave in 2018 I did 3 days in the office and 2 at home, and now I do 2 days in the office and 3 at home. So in that sense I know I was already lucky. Likewise DC were able to attend school in the second lockdown as I was designated a key worker, which was lucky for all of us.

Some of my family/friend relationships are stronger, others less so.

I appreciate some little things more.

We slowed down and enjoyed being us. I stopped afterschool clubs my children didn't enjoy but I pushed because I thought they needed to be busy!

I decided I hated my job and found a job I now love.

We have good memories of lockdown. We were very lucky that none of our friends or families were affected by covid.

@rhowton despicable and selfish actions, at a time when thousands were struggling with isolation and not being able to see loved ones, be with them at the end or go to their funeral.

Or perhaps you are simply a troll.

Actually thinking though, I probably would have limped song with a friendship group I didn’t particularly like. I don’t do that now, snd I’m much better for it.

I don’t think anything would be different. We were very lucky to be rather unaffected by it all. We saved quite a lot during the first lockdown but thankfully none of us have had any negative effects from it.

I’m so sorry for those who suffered losses.

If you’d asked me 6 weeks ago I’d have said we were very fortunate and got through Covid unscathed (apart from my business that is unlikely to recover). However as of a month ago my mental health has gone through the floor and it’s looking like Covid / lockdown is a major factor.

In a lot of ways COVID lockdowns were fine for us and I even paid off my car loan as I wasn't spending petrol money.

However it's actually only very recently we've realised lockdown may have impacted on Ds(4) socialisation and ability to conflict manage a bit more than we thought with the groups etc being shut down.

I don't know if I'd have been in the same job or not, we probably still would have moved house and I probably still would have gained the 15lb I'm struggling to shift!

Sorry to those who lost loved ones

I wouldn’t have got certain job experience that I was able to get due to wfh. This enabled me to get my current job.

At the same time, I might have got a different job that I wanted…

I wouldn’t have done my house up probably but then my mortgage would be smaller. So not sure if that was the right decision.

Could you even be key workers in the first lockdown if you were able to wfh? I thought it was just front line workers who physically couldn’t keep their children home?

My dad would be with us...lost him to Covid

Really good thread.

Personally -
I wouldn't have made a venture to a hobby night to get socialising again... meaning I wouldn't have met my fiance, we wouldn't have bought our house and we wouldn't have had our baby this year!

Also I wouldn't have finished my professional qualifications, got a job with in said profession and been able to buy a house last year!

I wouldn't know so much about MM and Harry due to boredom of Covid news.

World wise- Matt Hancock would still be married imo, and preparing to give his wife "the script". He wouldn't have had a midlife breakdown and ended up on IACGMOOH either.

Biden may not have made it as US president, Trump may have held public support.

Puttin would still have invaded Ukraine.

WFH wouldn't be so prolific nor would govt be piloting 4 day week options.

The Nhs would still be crumbling as the problems are due to people leaving UK Post brexit not covid.

Millions of people would still be alive :(((

I would of been able to get married 2 years earlier and therefore had my son earlier. We would probably of been on baby number two by now and moved to a bigger house. My husbands business wouldn't of failed.

Various people would still be alive

Recruitment for NHS wouldn't be so desperate

There would be so many people working from home in the freezing cold because they can't afford to pay for the heating throughout the day

Divorce rates went sky high through Covid

Mental health has hugely been affected and we as a country do not have enough resources to help

I got the keys to my house days before lockdown was announced and had taken out a gym membership. If Covid hadn’t happened, I might have kept up going and wouldn’t have gained so much weight in 2020. Also might have been able to build relationships with the neighbours when we moved in.

I would have had longer hair in my wedding photos because I’d have went to hairdresser instead of asking my husband to cut it.

Covid meant we could have the wedding we’d already planned in 2020 without anyone arguing with us over it, but it meant we weren’t able to go on honeymoon because places were locking down again. We may not have gone anyway due to finances but it sucked not having the choice.

I got pregnant in 2020 when I finally felt able to afford it. I had enough savings to cover maternity leave so thought why wait any longer. However, if Covid hadn’t happened, I might have left the job I was in then sooner and wanted to work a year or so somewhere else before getting pregnant. Alternatively, without Covid, I might have booked a honeymoon so not had the money to cover maternity leave and therefore been more careful with preventing pregnancy. Hard to know.

I also wonder if Putin would have invaded Ukraine when he did if Covid hadn’t happened.

The UK economy was still be shit but at least the Tories couldn’t hide behind Covid and would have to admit it was due to Brexit.

This is such a sad thread. I'm so sorry to everyone who has experienced these things. I'm very conscious we're lucky as I didn't directly lost anyone to covid.

For me: I would have had planned fertility treatment aged 36, with a better chances, rather than being 38 and still waiting because the clinics are so backed up. Not the end of the world but it's sad, especially because they didn't tell us they'd booted everyone off the list so we spent the whole pandemic assuming we were gently progressing upwards. I would have been able to do the research project I worked my arse off to get funded, which was looking into pregnancy loss and historical coping methods, which I still think was important and useful. My uncle would have had two more 'good' years to socialise, instead of losing them to Parkinsons. I would have been able to go to the funerals of two good friends.

In terms of other changes ... I think Boris would have gone eventually, because Brexit being a total failure would have brought him down in the end. But probably it would have been more drawn-out. Sadly, I think the rise of the far right has been spurred on by Covid, so I think if Covid hadn't happened, we might not have had Truss and Sunak.

I had my daughter a week before lockdown. I felt sad at the time that no one really met her until she was 5 months, even grandparents only got a cuddle the first week she was born. I remember vividly meeting my MIL (when we could meet one other person for a socially distanced walk) after 3 months and letting her have a cuddle with her granddaughter in a car park behind our car in case anyone saw. It feels crazy now!

My Mum is a nurse and was frontline so I was scared for her everyday. She’s on her own but even when ‘bubbles’ were allowed she couldn’t join as she was around covid everyday and I was worried for the children, especially our new baby.

We had so much time together as a family though, just the 4 of us (DS was 3) and having husband WFH was just wonderful. I was so lucky to remember it fondly for that. Work has become so much more flexible for him and it’s changed our life.

I struggled hugely with the return to ‘normality’ and that was the hardest part for me personally. I felt like we were so protected in our own little bubble that normal life felt a bit scary.

I’m a MH nurse. The after effects of the pandemic on people’s mental health is shocking. We’re still seeing it now and I fear it’s only the beginning.

Then you were had. It’s not the fault of those who didn’t comply with corruption and madness.

If covid didn't happen, we wouldn't have such good friendship with our neighbours. My DH would still be away every week on business trips in UK and once every couple of months overseas. DH and toddler DC1 wouldn't have such a strong relationship.

I’m so sorry for everyone that lost someone during the pandemic. We were very fortunate in that we didn’t loose anyone.
of my 4 dc, dc1 was the only one who’s mental health seemed to suffer but she was in yr11 and actually looking forward to sitting her GCSEs so she struggled with all of that just suddenly being stopped - and then missing out on essential socialising for those 2 important teen years - age 16-18! That was tough on her.
we would probably still have regular contact with Sdd, and her mother may not have decided to move to the other side of the country.
also, if it wasn’t for covid, I wouldn’t have had a mental breakdown 18months ago suffering from quite severe depression and burnout (and possibly ptsd from being a keyworker).
oh I would also still be a size 12/14 and not have gained 2stone that just won’t bloody well shift

however, I love that working from home has become mainstream and that really opens up so many more opportunities for parents. That is a massive positive that has come out of the pandemic.