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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

If covid never happened…

76 replies

Ehheheh · 29/01/2023 18:34

I’ve been reflecting a lot lately on where I am in my life and where my DC are and one thing that I don’t think is publicly talked about enough is the pandemic. Clearly, it was incredibly traumatic for a lot of people so it’s understandable many are keen to move on from it. However, I’ve been thinking how dramatically it changed the world and we rapidly pivoted away from a whole way of life. Some of the changes have definitely been for the better (personally and globally) but others not so much

  • My kids mental health would be much better
  • I wouldn’t be in my current job
  • Boris Johnson would likely still be PM
  • climate change would be a far bigger issue politically
  • My DC would have had a more normal teenage years of their life
  • A lot of the economic troubles we are having now wouldn’t be happening (granted Ukraine has caused a lot of it but covid has definitely contributed)
  • I would be far more social and probably have a lot more friendships I kept up with
So many other things I could list. So aibu to ask if covid never happened how would your life personally be different and how would the world be different in your opinion?
OP posts:
Wannakisstheteacher · 29/01/2023 19:18

@rhowton fucking Hell read the room - you have the basic human empathy of a rock.

boomboom109283 · 29/01/2023 19:18

My father in law and my dad would probably still be alive.

Indigoshift · 29/01/2023 19:20

I am not sure about my daughter's mental health. It was becoming bad. I am not sure lockdown made it worse or just hid a problem. I will never know.

She would have had a school trip to France though.

We would have had more travel experience.

I got to help out and spend time shopping for my lovely Uncle and Parents. That I never would have had the chance too.

I would be thinner as I wouldn't have been as sedentary and popping to the shop for scran. Took ages to lose that weight.

I wouldn't have had my lovely house. As doing nothing gave me a chance to save. ( I know that my choice but I would have sucummbed to going out pressure).

I agree Boris would have messed up somehow but maybe not yet.
Brexit / Torys/ Ukraine have caused a lot of our issues so as a country we may be in a similar situation.

Agree re climate change.

User363836373737 · 29/01/2023 19:20

My Grandmother wouldn’t have had to grieve alone after my grandad died suddenly a month before the first lockdown. When he was alive Covid was on the news but there was no urgency over it in the UK. In the month after he died we could all be together and held a ‘normal’ funeral which we are grateful for looking back but a month after his death and a couple weeks after the funeral we were all apart. Lockdown really effected my gran and her grief. She was all alone after nearly 60 years of marriage but the rest of us had our family unit at home. I feel if I could speak to him now he’d think it’s crazy how it escalated so quickly. I remember in the weeks after his death seeing all the panic buying etc.

also, yes my son is autistic and his MH is in tatters since Covid, he’s 12 and in year 7, year 4 and 5 wrecked and he really struggled in year 6 and starting secondary. His anxiety and ocd tendencies have really increased since Covid. He has become a shell of his usual cheerful self.

ThinWomansBrain · 29/01/2023 19:21

I love hybrid working; not wfh, I split my time between the office and a local hot desk space.
Was never one for vertiginous heals, but since switching to trainer type shoes I haven't had problems with ingrowing toenails in three years.

DramaAlpaca · 29/01/2023 19:22

My adult DS's mental health would probably be fine.

NameChangedForThissss · 29/01/2023 19:24

I thought of another one, I’d still be going to hairdressers every four weeks to get my roots done at £50 a visit. Now I colour my own hair for about £5 per month. It looks exactly the same, same colour and the same shine.

Oigetoffmylawn · 29/01/2023 19:26

For me and my family life would be worse. I wouldn't be able to work from home and neither would DH. My eldest MH would be worse, as would mine. Our debts wouldn't have been paid off as quickly. I wouldn't be as close to my family. Covid was very positive for us, but I appreciate we were extremely lucky.

Bloatstoat · 29/01/2023 19:28

My nanna was 94 and frail - she might well have died, but she wouldn't have been alone, and I would have been able to attend her funeral properly, not just online. I went to a funeral of a friend a few weeks ago, it was so sad, but a privilege to say goodbye in person, I will never take that for granted again.

My DSIL would be well and working, not disabled by long COVID, and my brother wouldn't be overwhelmed with anxiety for her.

I worked all the way through in healthcare, although not directly with COVID patients. The system was not in good shape, but it's now utterly broken.

MarshaBradyo · 29/01/2023 19:29

I absolutely loathed it and disagreed with approach at the time but on the other side of it we haven’t been too badly done by and dc are fine

Plus hybrid working is far better for us, that would never have taken off in our industry

EilonwyWithRedGoldHair · 29/01/2023 19:33

Trying to decide if thinks works be better or worse for us.

DH might not have been made redundant (Debenhams - though they'd been teetering on the edge for a long time, we were worried back in 2008), so we might be financially better off.

I'd still be working in the office rather than from home. I suppose it's possible we wouldn't have lost funding for one of our projects but that's impossible to say.

DS is the big one. He's been referred for assessment for ASD, been school refusing since July. I wonder if we wouldn't have seen such a dramatic deterioration without COVID, but then it might have been worse if he'd managed to cope with primary school and the shit hit the fan in secondary instead, especially given how violent his meltdowns can be. And we've only managed to cope (if you can call it that) because we are both home in the day.

I suspect with or without COVID we'd be in a crap situation.

notacooldad · 29/01/2023 19:33

Nothing much would be different. I had a reasonably easy pandemic. I enjoyed staying in and managed to save so much money.
Me, Dh and both sons worked throughout the pandemic.
I still saw my friends as I work with them as well.
There's no children in our family so no issues there.
No one I knew died.
I put another 10 lbs on.

verabarbleen · 29/01/2023 19:38

My daughter was conceived during first lockdown so I wouldn't have her if it wasn't for covid but also my dad who now doesn't know who I am and has dementia still knew who I was during the first lockdown and we were kept apart due to rules (didn't know he had dementia then ) I could have spent a lot more time with him if it wasn't for covid .

Cocobutt · 29/01/2023 19:39

Lockdowns weren’t really an issue for me (although I vow to never wfh again!).

My DC thrived being at home and being able to get their school work done in half the time with no distractions and then had the rest of the day to play and find a creative side they didn’t realise they had.

I enjoyed not spending unnecessary money on days out, less traffic on the roads and much less people in the shops.

I’m also somewhat proud that I was part of something massive that will never be forgotten.

Then lockdown ended and that is when myself and DC really struggled!

I think it was just having our lives completely turned upside down and then being thrown back into ‘normal’ life again which is what we struggled with.

I work in a school and the children’s maturity is 2 years behind, so behaviour is much worse and I think too much focus was put on their missed education and not the impact of returning to school as normal and I think that especially secondary schools need to cater to students who are now much younger mentally.

It feels like an odd dream now and sometimes I’ll get flashbacks and think did that actually happen!

I remember driving to work which is an hour journey and not seeing one other car on the road - it was like something from I am Legend.

Wonderwoman333 · 29/01/2023 19:47

My teenage dc would have better mental health.

I would still be in a job that made me very stressed and miserable. The pandemic made me realise that life's too short to be unhappy so I finally left to do something different and I'm much happier.

I still feel a mixture of anger, disbelief and numb about it all.

JanesSadLittleLife · 29/01/2023 19:51

If it weren't for the pandemic I would have been able to sit by my mother's bedside when she was dying, and she'd have had me there to hold her hand rather than be alone in a room at a nursing home when she took her last breath. My brother would have been able to fly home to be at her funeral. All the people she knew and loved in her home town could have attended. Her ashes could have been interred with my stepdad. But none of that could happen.

On the other hand, I wouldn't now be working full time from home in the job I spent years striving for.

But having had a horrible time with covid myself at the end of 2020, I wish I wasn't frozen with fear at every scratchy throat these days! I used to shrug everything off as just a cold but now, I get a fever and diarrhoea with every sore throat...

Flamingogirl08 · 29/01/2023 19:52

I wouldn't have the amazing work/life balance I have now with hybrid working. So some positives

whatsup44 · 29/01/2023 20:04

I wouldn't of got the promotion and new role I am I in now

Would not of been able to work from home and see my children as much as I do before and after school

I feel fortunate that I don't feel we were negatively impacted by Covid. The children were obviously impacted in terms of school, but they were able to go back in the second lockdown due to various reasons.

mrsDracoMalfoy · 29/01/2023 20:12

Just to mix things up - I would of a had a big wedding with 100 people I didn't know, want or like.
Thanks to covid (if that's possible) we had to small intimate wedding of 15 that we liked and wanted there.
We wants to get married and the venue was amazing. Yes we could of chosen a venue where we could of had fewer people to begin with. It's hard to explain as obviously the pandemic itself was awful - this was just one thing that worked out for the best in a way.

Elemenohpe · 29/01/2023 20:18

We've got a few thousand extra in savings.

I had the best 3 months of my life with my little girl.

My husband can wfh or go into the office and is happier for this.

Personally there are no negatives, however I think the environment and focus on that has really suffered which obviously will affect us all personally in the long run.

bloodywhitecat · 29/01/2023 20:22

DH would've been diagnosed more quickly and his cancer wouldn't have spread before he had the chance to have surgery.

I am pretty sure I wouldn't be a widow if those things had happened.

Suzi888 · 29/01/2023 20:24

Sorry to those who suffered losses.

For us, DH lost a bit of income, I made more.
DM initially complied with lockdown then decided she would rather die than not see family. She met with elderly neighbours, so I guess they had a bubble.
I got fat🤦🏼‍♀️🙄. We both drank too much.

PleaseCleanTheWholeToilet · 29/01/2023 20:25

I wouldnt of been ‘locked’ in the house for a year

My Uncle would still be alive

SmileWithADimple · 29/01/2023 20:27

I don't think things would be massively different for us, except that DH would be going into the office more often.

Thecoldcrew · 29/01/2023 20:27

My mum may still have been alive or at least allowed visitors on her deathbed and to see her grandchildren one last time