Where did all the fun go? -This is a boring weekend, isn’t it

[Sheneversitsstill]

Weekend so far…went fo work for 3 hours yesterday morning, went shopping for dinner and breakfast for today. Came home, tidied up, put washing away and tried to control my hyper 4 year old, make cookies with her and pizzas, took her to bed, fell asleep myself at 8pm.

Today-made a special breakfast for everyone, tidied up, played shops with Dd, took dog for a walk in the woods, will make dinner, watch Happy valley and bed..is this normal? Seems so dull…it’s so cold and we’re all full of coughs and colds at the moment so it does make a difference somewhat, where did the fun in life go?
Just writing notes on my phone for the week, which involves school drop offs, work, more food shopping, paying bills etc..Eurgh, I miss being young when life was so exciting!

*Made cookies with her

Not being facetious but what did you expect from family life? Something else?

Yea I think weekends can get monotonous with kids, especially as you obviously have to plan around things they want/need and their care.

However I think maybe putting in effort to shake things up every now and then is helpful. Maybe do some different things (eg family games night/ outside film etc).

I do think down time and the odd chilled weekend is good though. It’s getting a balance isn’t it.

It annoys me how Dh seems to just be able to come and go whereas I just go out for work, pick ups, supermarket shopping or I’m at home with Dd. Three times this weekend, he nips to the shops, takes the rubbish etc, this takes over an hour, so he gets his freedom and my going to work at the weekend so he’s with Dd is somehow quietly counted as me leaving the house and my freedom

Have you told him this? Change your job? Do the jobs straight after work so you are out the house for a couple of hours? The only person that can change this is you.

I’m in my 20s and have had a weekend not too dissimilar only we’re pre-DC (TTC later this year).
Everything costs a fortune at the moment and I think it’s natural to feel flat in January when the weather is rubbish and start ruminating on things. I do and there’s lots of talk at work of people feeling the same. Things will feel lighter and brighter in spring!

I think, if you can afford it, the key is to have small things to look forward to. E.g trying new restaurant for Valentines Day, night away at a log cabin in spring (can get some cheap deals on Groupon). Not to invalidate what you are saying but it does sound like you’ve had a peaceful weekend which a lot of people would envy so might also help to try and reframe it and look at your situation from another angle. You were able to cook a nice breakfast full of tasty and wholesome ingredients. That walk will have been the best part of your dog’s day.

Well, you did some nice things for other people and caught up with or got ahead of the chores. Shame you had to work. It sounds pretty normal - and its still the depths of January - but plan something you enjoy too. I am through the young kids years but things like listening to a podcast I enjoy while cooking, ironing with a G&T or getting pjs on early can make boring more enjoyable and relaxing.

It seems like it was a good weekend for your DD and dog, which is something. Did you find any joy in making cookies and pizza with her?

Aside from that, you need to schedule in your own fun. Make some time somewhere. What would you like to do? Arrange drinks with a friend and leave DH to do bedtime. Babysitter swap with a friend and go out with your husband. Take DD to the beach for fish and chips. Get up a bit earlier and sit in the garden in peace with a cup of tea. Meditate or do yoga.

You sound fairly young and resentful of the routine of family life. Once you have DC, this is your world. You can't do stuff on the spur of the moment; there isn't money for treats as there was when you were young free and single.

I know you can't force perspective, and there are so many clichés of cherish every moment which I so can't be arsed with and will make everybody reading cringe.

What I will say, it sounds like your life is good, but just without a spark of joy - is there anything you can do to get that? Music, art, nature? Whatever you bag is, what ever brings you joy, just do it - we all have crap in life which we think means we can't, but we all make choices, and if life feels a bit grey it can be the last of winter hibernation shaking loose and the start of spring - nothing stays the same very long.

Your 4 year old is clipping your wings

Kids can be boring

Sounds like my life; some days I love it and some days it feels like you describe. I wonder if it feels more like it because you didn’t have much of an evening last night. Realistically if I still lived the life I did before kids I’d be bored of that and wanting a family

January and February are always a bit like this to be fair.

We're all saving our pennies and waiting till the weather improves

May I ask you to turn this around for a moment please?
For example ;
I had enough money to shop for food.
I have a beautiful child.
I have a (hopefully) loving husband.
I have a home.
I have a job.
I have the ability to walk and breathe unaided.
I have a car.🌈
Counting our positives can make us feel more happy with our lives.
🌈💐🌻

Yeah, that's doing fuck all for me.

Are you splitting chores and cooking with your DH? Looks like you’re doing a lot of the boring stuff by yourself.

I have a car.🌈
Why the rainbow after the car? Do we feel especially excited about driving?

I do get what you mean @KarmaStar, I try to think positively a lot of the time. But sometimes you just need a bit of a moan.

Ugh all that gratitude stuff just makes me roll my eyes.

My weekend has also been boring OP though I have no young kids to put that down to. I've quite enjoyed it though and know it's the last one for a while. I know that when they stretch ahead endlessly it can feel very different.

It actually sounds like a lovely weekend, but not if that’s every weekend… balance is key I think - sometimes I get overwhelmed by the dull monotony of life but have found that it only takes small changes to make things a bit more fun, and they don’t have to cost much: - invite other people over for lunch and a walk, or arrange a play date for dd, invite friends for dinner, take it in turns for you and DH to go out, schedule an exercise class - Saturday morning is great for this, start the weekend on a high, get on the mailing lists for all the arts centres / museums / theatres / children’s festivals etc close by and just book tickets when things come up, go to local sports matches - unless close by teams are in the premier league it’s not that expensive to go to a football or rugby match a few times a year. Sign up for events with your local bookshop - authors events are fun for kids and adults… invite friends to stay….. have a party…..

(I was feeling utterly miserable in November and just did a load of forward planning and organising with lots of the things I’ve mentioned above and January has actually been really fun and I feel I have things to look forward to, and downtime /slow weekends in between for resting and chores

Family life is boring. It certainly isn’t for everyone.

I do feel guilty about moaning, I suppose it all feels so routine at the moment and I feel like life is one big ‘To do’ list with all the endless food shopping, cooking etc
I do feel resentful of Dh at the moment as I feel I’m shouldering a lot of it at the moment, perhaps that’s it. I don’t resent family life and adore Dd, I’m also not that young..early 40’s, I generally see the good in things but it’s hard at the moment. I always try my best for Dd, so yes, her and the dog have hopefully had a great weekend, which is something

It’s just January - it’s the most boring time of year.

I don’t have kids and it’s still boring, I’m definitely not out going wild!

My weekend has been:
Friday night: TV and wine
Saturday: going to the dog groomers, shops, making dinner
today: a wander round a local market and 2 movies.

It’s cold, I’m skint and it’s nearly dark outside.

But, I recognise it’s just the time of year, summer and the run up to Xmas are much busier and nicer.

Life is dull most of the time for most people i suspect. I don't have young dc, I spent my day yesterday at a funeral, then overnight looking after my very elderly, very frail mum. Today I did shopping, cleaning and now ironing. Whoop de doo.

But if you were working for three hours yesterday morning, why are you coming home and tidying up? If DH was there (assuming he was), three hours is plenty of time to have a quick hoover round, put the washing away and tidy up a bit. So that the rest of the weekend is more 'family than cleaning' for you?

What does he do with DD? Doesn't he take her to shops with him or to take the rubbish so you get the hour he's away to yourself - even if just to have a quick nap so you're more energised.

Having said that we're having a 'boring weekend' - I did a big spring clean of the living room (digging out all the crappy drawers and shelves - it's a wonder the shelves were still standing with the amount of rubbish on them) whilst DH cleaned the kitchen and mopped the bathroom/kitchen floors and DS tidied his room and hoovered round. Then I did a roast, DH cleaned and washed up and we're now flopped out having watched a film on TV. But it's lovely as all the chores were done between us and we've all had the afternoon to ourselves.

Why do you seem to be doing it all?

What would you like to do? Plan some outings for yourself, book a break away, or plan a holiday for the spring. You need change, & something to look forward to other than family life.