Acne is something to be embarrassed about?

[wherearerhou]

I'm a 30 year old woman. I had the clearest of clear skin up until the age of 25. At 25 I began struggling with my weight, period and skin. I was diagnosed with PCOS shortly afterwards. Since then, I have struggled with rosacea and horrid, inflamed, painful and bumpy acne. I can cover it up with make up, however, you can still see the bumps/texture so it's more so masking it that anything else. My rosacea causes my skin to become sooooo red it looks like severe sunburn.

I would love to be able to go to the shop without make up on, but on the rare occurrence I do, I go with a scarf wrapped half around my face, which doesn't work in the summer.

I feel like society makes acne a shameful thing. I couldn't imagine going out completely bare faced and would definitely feel feelings of shame, embarrassment and judgement.

I think there's an assumption that if you have acne, you aren't clean. This couldn't be further from the truth. I've tried everything to solve it, it genuinely is simply something out with my control. I was every single day (not too much though as am aware of making it worse).

AIBU to ask then, if you see someone in a shop or out a walk, with truly severe acne, would you judge them for not covering up/wearing make up? It has got to the point to me that I almost feel like apologising to people for having to see my skin.

Pic attached.

I wouldn't think anything of it, OP; I certainly wouldn't expect a person with acne to cover it up. I don't associate acne with unclean skin.

Are you being treated for the PCOS?

Of course it is, I was teased horrendously in school because of it

Nothing to be embarrassed about at all. I had acne for most of my twenties until I got treatment through my doctor, there are lots of options so if you haven’t looked into it please do. I still have some scarring but regularly go makeup free and really don’t worry myself about what people think. It’s just my face and there are lots of more interesting and important things about me!

I think you’ve misunderstood the question. OP’s acne isn’t something that she should feel embarrassed about. The bullies should feel pretty ashamed though.

I absolutely wouldn't think anything if o saw you however I'm a nice, polite and mature woman.
I'm sorry if you've come across not nice people who've made you feel bad.

If you can get to the point where you are confident without make up it will be easier to not feel bare when you have a flare up

Hoping someone pops along with some helpful tips for you as it looks quite painful just now x

I wouldn't judge someone with acne for not covering up, or wearing make up. It would be none of my business at all what someone I don't even know does or doesn't do. I wouldn't think it was embarrassing at all. I don't think society makes acne an unclean thing, like you say, but anything that appears as an abnormality of what we as humans expect on a face is always going to get stares or second glances, similar to a distinguishing birthmark or a scar. People will mostly feel sympathetic but more towards teenagers IMO, wrongly or rightly.

It absolutely makes you feel very unclean, especially if anything comes to a head during the course of the day- when if anything you’re very clean.

I suffered myself, so no I wouldn’t judge or stare. I know how painful those bumps can be. Dianette helped me.

The best thing I found was Liz Earle cleans and polish, an antibacterial skin wash, pure tea tree oil on a cotton pad with toner. I also loved a non comedogenic make up /moisturiser.

It doesn’t last forever and you probably won’t get wrinkles! 💐

Anyone that judges isn’t worth worrying about, but I know that probably doesn’t help. 💐

Would you like help with it? If so, have you seen your GP? My son suffered with quite bad acne as a teen and ended up taking roaccutane after trying many other things. He now has clear, scar free skin. You could ask to be referred to a dermatologist.

I'm so sorry you are going through this, I went through very similar (but with facial psoriasis) for most of my adult life till I went to see a skin specialist, just to be clear I do not mean a dermatologist. Having relied on the NHS my whole life I ended up with steroid after steroid and had to come off them causing withdrawal as my skin had forgotten how to heal by itself. I had an assessment and started a course of treatment and bought the products recommended. I cut things from my diet, things you wouldn't even think would affect my skin (my triggers ended up being tomatoes and porridge oats!) and honestly, my skin is the best it's ever been. LED therapy, skin needling and chemical peels are all really good for adult acne when paired with the right products and diet amendments. I really hope you find your way with this and you have NOTHING to be embarrassed about. This was my skin before and now and I don't look back

Oh you poor thing op.

Of course you have no reason to feel ashamed but obviously you feel bad because your skin is in a pretty bad way.
Keep bothering your doctor and remember it’s the squeaky wheel that gets the oil.

As a retired pharmacist you need referral to specialists, dermatologist and gynaecologist.
Be gentle on your skin, drink enough water, oil free moisturiser etc and I do hope you get the help you deserve.

I was answering whether it was something to be embarrassed about and yes most people find it embarrassing and people bully others because of it, I got it early so primary and spent years being called names such as “spot the dog” “spot the difference” yes it’s considered embarrassing.

I started with cystic acne in my 30s and hated it. I absolutely felt like people judged me for being unclean when the opposite was true.

I went on Roaccutane for 4 months and never looked back. It changed my life.

AIBU to ask then, if you see someone in a shop or out a walk, with truly severe acne, would you judge them for not covering up/wearing make up?

Not in the least. I wouldn't expect someone with a scar to walk around wearing plasters to hide it either. I can't think of anything where I would expect makeup to be worn to hide someone's natural face and flareups (okay, if someone had a swastika face tattoo...).

Having had a similar condition myself, I would not judge you at all. I would probably clock that your skin looked sore, feel a moment's pity, and then move on.

Before I had this condition, I still would not have judged you. I would have clocked that your skin looked sore, feel a moment's pity, wondered why you didn't get it treated, and then move on.

(I hope my honesty doesn't hurt.)

Now, having gone through this myself, I understand that it's not always as simple as just getting it treated. My condition turned out to be caused by allergies, and until I got exposure to my allergens sorted out, all the treatment, all the steroids and creams and antibiotics didn't get it under control. They helped a bit, but my skin did not begin to lose the inflamed acne look until nearly 3 years after the condition began.

I saw someone with very serious acne out and about recently. My first instinct was that she was brave and must be very confident to do that. I get cystic acne around my period and feel so insecure about it. I cover it with makeup or even face masks. I assume people who go out without makeup showing their acne are very self assured and don't care what anyone thinks. Maybe if more people do it, more people will do it!

im 42 with severe PCOS(severe enough that ive never seen a period)
from 12 to 30 i had painful cystic acne. similar to yours and some times worse,my face used to peel

i was given all sorts of medication through out my teen years,spent hundreds on products.this was 90-00s so products have improved since then.
never worked, mostly made things worse

lush products helped me at 28, their coal face soap,they seem a bit pricey but looked after correctly they last months.

the moisturisers are pricey so i only bought it the once or twice but as ive thirsty skin i need a lot,for years now i use bio oil or pound lands version is just as good

i went in and a lovely young man spent ages talking to me and going through the products,i gave the coal soap a go and within weeks it cleared up.
ive used it ever since.
it lasts months
im 42 and look years younger.
i lather up using a shaving brush,never the bar or hands.
and always wash twice
first wash get rid of daily grime,2nd wash gets in to the as first wash has just opened them.
theres enough lather on the brush anyway

i also do a lot of diy facials and early 30s had Microdermabrasion peels.
no idea how much they are now but my last one was 4 years ago and i paid £25

dont know if this makes a difference bu ive never wore makeup

Adult acne is awful. I'm sorry you're going through it. I understand the sense of embarrassment
The only thing that cured mine was going to a good (private) dermatologist and getting a prescription from there. My face is now amazingly clear and I'm thankful literally every time I look in the mirror.
It wasn't cheap but the spots were really getting me down so it was worth it in the end.

Meant to add - my GP just dismissed it and tried to convince me to go on the pill to clear it up. I only felt listened to after paying a dermatologist

My only thought when I see someone with bad acne is sympathy because I know how painful it is. I had what I would describe as moderate acne as a teenager; mostly on my back and it was hell at times. I don’t think it makes you dirty and I think most people know that to be not true these days.

Your por poor thing OP. I wouldn't judge you, I'd just feel sorry for you as it looks so sore.
I had terrible acne until I was 19, until I went on the pill. Am still on it now in my 30s. I wish os much I could come off it, it seems crazy to be messing with my female hormones when I don't need contraception atm. But I know I can't. I tried once 6 years ago and it came back. All the best and I hope you find a solution.

I wouldn't judge you, but then again I've have acne on and off since I was 11. The only thing that works longterm for me was using a topical retinol cream. I worked in pharmacy though and there was defined a misconception that people were getting acne because they didn't wash their face often enough (was told this as a teenager myself) whereas over washing and stripping acne prone skin can have the opposite effect and create more oilyness.

I certainly wouldn't judge you as unclean, and I think it's better not to cover acne up, especially wirh make-up because that surely clogs the pores up more and makes the skin more prone to further acne. I always think the owner of any spots always sees them and perceives them as bigger and redder and more noticeable than anyone else.

It absolutely isn’t something you should be embarrassed about and I’m sorry that society suggests that it is. I wouldn’t think anything if I saw someone with acne - I’m sure I come across loads of people in a day but it’s not something I notice!

For anyone dealing with acne and looking for suggestions on how to deal with it, I strongly suggest Dermatica, online dermatologists. If you have a look at their Instagram page they have lots of testimonials with photos. I use them myself for hyperpigmentation treatments.

I would not judge, I would maybe for a second think ‘poor them, that looks sore’ and that would be about it.

I know you haven’t asked for advice so feel free to ignore, but I know several people who suffered for years with acne and rosacea problems who have had huge success with online dermatologists like Dermatica and Skin & Me.

I don’t think you should be embarrassed but I do think you need to be proactive about this and see a dermatologist to get it sorted, it must be so sore and having a negative affect on you.