Acne is something to be embarrassed about?

[wherearerhou]

I'm a 30 year old woman. I had the clearest of clear skin up until the age of 25. At 25 I began struggling with my weight, period and skin. I was diagnosed with PCOS shortly afterwards. Since then, I have struggled with rosacea and horrid, inflamed, painful and bumpy acne. I can cover it up with make up, however, you can still see the bumps/texture so it's more so masking it that anything else. My rosacea causes my skin to become sooooo red it looks like severe sunburn.

I would love to be able to go to the shop without make up on, but on the rare occurrence I do, I go with a scarf wrapped half around my face, which doesn't work in the summer.

I feel like society makes acne a shameful thing. I couldn't imagine going out completely bare faced and would definitely feel feelings of shame, embarrassment and judgement.

I think there's an assumption that if you have acne, you aren't clean. This couldn't be further from the truth. I've tried everything to solve it, it genuinely is simply something out with my control. I was every single day (not too much though as am aware of making it worse).

AIBU to ask then, if you see someone in a shop or out a walk, with truly severe acne, would you judge them for not covering up/wearing make up? It has got to the point to me that I almost feel like apologising to people for having to see my skin.

Pic attached.

Hi OP, might sound a strange question, but is it definitely acne? It looks to me like it could be a specific form of rosacea - Papulopustular Rosacea, which is often mistakenly identified as acne. My apologies if you’ve already checked/researched this and my two cents is useless. Not meaning to suggest you don’t know your own skin!

I’ve just started to develop rosacea myself so have been looking into it and that was the first thing that jumped into my head. If it isn’t acne and you’re treating it is as though it is, you could inadvertently be making the rosacea worse

I wouldn’t judge but I would wonder why not treat it. I sometimes see very inflamed acne on people that looks incredibly uncomfortable and painful and wonder why they are not treating it. There must be some cases that are treatment resistant but majority can be resolved with prescription medication, Roaccutane being the most extreme but lots of options before hitting that - works for some people (specific contraception, spironolactone, antibiotics, various versions of tretinoin/adapalene, rosacea prescription creams etc)

I'm sorry to read about you suffering like this. Please don't feel embarrassed, anyone with a brain will know it's totally outside your control. I just wanted to say that roaccutane also did the trick for me, in case that is an option for you (I don't know about the PCOS element). I appreciate not everyone may have the funds, but if you can pay for a private dermatologist I would recommend that. I paid to get roaccutane privately as the NHS wanted to take ages trying other things which didn't work - it was well worth the investment in my opinion. It was over a decade ago now but I think I paid around £800 all in (appointments and the medication), it's probably more now though. I hope you see an improvement soon.

I'm 63, and from the age of 30 have had Rosacea. It used to look like actual acne but without the yellow heads on spots. My confidence was zero and I felt people were staring (they were) and commenting. I used to get such stupid "advice" about how I should stop eating chocolate/go and sunbathe (one of the worst things to do) and wash my face more often!

I tried every antibiotic going, but eventually a Dermatologist prescribed ROACCUTANE. It honestly was like a miracle drug. Within a week there was a noticeable difference, and after 4 weeks, my skin was still red but not at all bumpy or spotty. I took 3 separate courses of it, over the next 2 years. That was probably 15 years ago now, and my face has never been spotty or lumpy since. It's still red, but I use foundation with a green colour-corrective cream underneath

Nothing to be embarrassed about. If I do see someone with acne I do think that must be so sore.. especially when it looks red and swollen.
I've never suffered with acne but I developed the most excruciating compulsive skin picking disorder in my late teens. It was an extension of my self harming I think. I was in agony all the time and made it worse trying desperately to cover it up with concealer so I'd have these sore crusty make up covered wounds on my face. People would always stare and I felt like dogshit! I can empathise with feeling self conscious. It's really hard.

You wouldn't feel embarrassed if you had a broken leg! I might notice someone with bad skin but I would never dream of judging them. You'd have to be a really nasty person to do that.

I think you need to have more faith in other people and a bit more contempt for anyone who is nasty enough to make unkind comments. They are the ones with something 'wrong' with them not you.

I hope you find something to help your skin improve.

Sorry @wherearerhou, that looks so sore.
I wouldn’t judge you if I saw you, I would feel for you.
I always had lovely skin until I became pregnant. Overnight I had red sore weeping pustules all over my face. It made me embarrassed and I felt dirty and I tried to cover it all up with makeup which never worked well because my skin was weeping.
I always felt judged which may well have been the case as I was once asked if I was taking drugs and on another occasion, if I was trying to cover up bruises.
I did some research on line and discovered that my problem was due to skin mites thriving in greasy skin brought on in pregnancy but their life cycle continuing afterwards. I actually bought Chinese cream on line for the mites and within a few weeks my skin was back to normal. I get compliments on my skin now.
I can’t believe that I let this continue for a whole ten years before doing anything about it. It is confidence sapping, uncomfortable and depressing.
Please take steps to get some treatment, it would truly be life changing for you. 💐

I found great advice on a Rosacea Facebook group at the time. Rosacea sufferers UK.

I honestly don't associate acne with being unclean and don't think many educated people would. You deserve to pop to the shops without makeup like anyone else.

I’m a long time psoriasis sufferer so I feel your pain. I wouldn’t bat an eyelid if I saw someone barefaced at the supermarket. But I can understand how you feel. 😢

have you seen a dermatologist?

I've never associated acne with being unclean, I didn't know that people did!
Wouldn't bat an eyelid at somebody's acne to be honest. At the very, very most, I'd think "bet that's sore" and then wouldn't think any more of it. Please please don't be embarrassed!! It's absolutely nothing to be ashamed or embarrassed about!

I wouldn’t judge but I would wonder why not treat it. I sometimes see very inflamed acne on people that looks incredibly uncomfortable and painful and wonder why they are not treating it.

Don't assume they haven't tried. I had to see four different GP's before I was taken seriously and I had horrendous cystic acne, much worse than the OP's. Mine was caused by pregnancy hormones, it got worse immediately after the birth but my midwife told me it would go away. It didn't. I have no photos of my daughter and I together for the first year of her life because I was so self-conscious. My face hurt so much sometimes I couldn't even lie down on my pillow to sleep.

The first GP told me that it would go away on its own. The second GP (6 months later) said the same but eventually prescribed a mild topical ointment to shut me up. It did nothing. The third GP told me it was caused by the pill and tried to pressure me into getting a coil, despite me repeatedly explaining it started in pregnancy. When I saw GP number four I explained the whole saga he said "this is a treatable medical problem, you shouldn't have to put up with it" and I cried. He prescribed an oral antibiotic (Lymecycline), I had pretty much lost hope by this point but I started to notice a difference after a month. In three months my skin was clear, although I had some scarring due to how severe the acne had been, this was easily covered with minimal make-up and has faded a lot over time. I had to take it for another 3 months once all the acne was gone to be sure it wouldn't come back. Zero side effects, no need for a dermatology referral and now you would never know I'd ever had acne.

You need to take the supplement myo-inositol. It’s the absolute best thing for PCOS-related acne and it has no side effects as its former name was Vitamin B8.

I was diagnosed with rosacea about 6/7 years ago and could never imagine going out without makeup again. Had several bouts of antibiotics to clear it but would alway come back.

During lockdown I didn't wear as much makeup for obvious reason and started double cleaning my skin (using good quality products) and using a rough flannel to wipe it off which is great for exfoliation. My skin is mostly clear now, still have bad days but that's generally when I get lazy, as soon as I start cleansing again I get it back under control. I will now nip to the shops without makeup on and think nothing of it, never thought I'd be able to do that again.

That’s not acne though it’s rosacea . Try tea tree oil, I have rosacea and this helped . I never wear make up.

Surely it is rosacea not acne. My Mum had rosacea (I have been fortunate to escape). That was from her late 30's until she died at 73. Did it ruin her life? - yes quite possibly. She stopped seeking treatment deciding nothing would help, she was very unhappy. Seek treatment, get better with the right help it is possible.