Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To give you a 5 year update on my one and only ‘Classics’ thread?

51 replies

Brewskipa · 27/01/2023 20:34

Original post here!

I am five years in to being a mum to this amazing child. And today I’m just so full of pride and wanted to share it and thought I’d give the whole backstory by linking to the previous post from 2018!

My little boy is thriving. He started at an amazing SEN school at the start of the month and has settled in beautifully. He has just received his ASD, ADHD and FASD diagnoses; he also had a cognitive assessment which put his FSIQ at 130.

I left the man I adopted him with. He turned nasty about a year in. He had contact with my son for a while but then turned abusive and then had the audacity to say my son was too difficult and walked out of his life. My son lost his father, brother and grandparent that day and he hasn’t seen any of them since.

I have an amazing partner who has taken my son on as his own (long before my ex left his life) and they have a beautiful relationship.

My son is clever, funny, charming. He adores everyone and most people he meets are completely enchanted by him. He is popular with his peers. He is talented and friendly and just bloody wonderful.

I am absolutely still as obsessed with him as I was five years ago ❤️

OP posts:
ArchieStar · 27/01/2023 20:37

Beautiful news 🥰🥰

Whowhatwherewhenwhy1 · 27/01/2023 20:39

❤️

R0ckets · 27/01/2023 20:39

Oh what a bloody lovely update. I remember reading your original thread at the time.

I'm sorry it didn't work out with his dad but am so pleased everything is going so well.

Please come back in another 5 years and let us know how he gets on as he enters the wonderful world of being a teenager.

2018SoFarSoGreat · 27/01/2023 20:42

ah, I remember your original posts and the happiness could be heard loud and clear, from you and that darling boy. Sorry things weren't great with your ex, but that's his loss. Your boy sounds like he is surrounded by love!

Please keep updating us; it is so lovely to hear good news.

watcherintherye · 27/01/2023 20:43

That’s so lovely to hear! Sad that there have been upsets along the way, but none of that matters as long as he has you and your partner, and you both have him!

bloodywhitecat · 27/01/2023 20:44

How wonderful (but how sad that your ex turned on you both), your son sounds like a wonderful boy. Are you in touch still with his old foster carer?

Brewskipa · 27/01/2023 20:48

Aw thank you all!

yes still in touch with his foster carers, and in a funny twist of fate we also have direct contact with his birth mum so he sees a lot of her too ❤️ (I’ve made myself completely identifiable to anyone in the instagram adoption community I’m sure 😂)

The way my ex acted towards him is horrific and traumatic and it is going to take a lot of therapy and support for my son to work through it. He has an amazing network of people around him though who love him so much and will help him.

OP posts:
Cuppasoupmonster · 27/01/2023 20:55

God what an amazing story (just read the other thread) and what a strong and happy mum you sound. So glad to hear you’re enjoying life with your lovely son - lucky to have each other ♥️

Velvian · 27/01/2023 20:59

I remember your thread. So pleased to hear that you and your son are doing so well. Sorry to hear about what happened with your ExH.

bloodywhitecat · 27/01/2023 21:01

@Brewskipa that's lovely, as a foster carer it means the world to me to be allowed to continue to have relationships with my fosterlings. It is wonderful to hear of other relationships being treasured too.

ThomasinaLivesHere · 27/01/2023 21:05

I just read the original thread now. It’s sad things didn’t work out with your ex but it sounds like you have a really strong relationship with your son ❤️ it’s so touching the way you talk about him x

nettie434 · 27/01/2023 21:18

What a wonderful update - and the original thread which I hadn't read before but thought was wonderful. Sorry that you had a difficult time with your ex but glad things are better now. Here's to a wonderful next few years with your son and the next update 🥂🍾

Starsnspikes · 27/01/2023 21:25

This made me cry. And the fact that you're supporting direct contact with his birth mum, at the same time as so truly and deeply claiming him in your heart as 'yours'...it sounds like he has everything he needs and so much love from everyone in his life. He's blessed and it sounds like you are too.

Brewskipa · 27/01/2023 21:36

Ah his birth mum is one of my favourite people and we have a lovely friendship. Having her in our lives is really special.

Honestly wish I could articulate how bloody wonderful he is though. Like he has just turned six and has only ever been at school for half days but he goes to bed at dead on 7pm every night and after stories together he reads independently for an hour or two before he decides to sleep, then has a solid 10 hour snooze before he tiptoes into my room and wakes me with a cuddle. What a babe. Every day starting and ending like that!

OP posts:
Mariposista · 27/01/2023 21:38

What a lovely post. I so admire people who adopt children.

ladymacbeth · 27/01/2023 21:38

What do you mean that a twist of fate brought his birth mother in? Curious about that!

Gonegrey31 · 27/01/2023 21:42

Your posts have really moved me , what a special bond you have , so happy to read about your brilliant little boy and you sound like the most fabulous generous hearted person .

BornBlonde · 27/01/2023 21:43

I remember your thread OP. He's a lucky and well loved boy. Star

Brewskipa · 27/01/2023 21:44

@ladymacbeth she accidentally found out where I lived (at least the small town I lived in) when I started up a charitable endeavour related to something niche we are both passionate about. She panicked and spoke to the letterbox facilitators about it, they contacted me and they asked if I would like to meet with her again (I met her after he came home). I did, and it watered a seed I had planted a while before about exploring direct contact. It was such a privilege to get to spend time with her and it didn’t seem fair that I didn’t get to share margay privilege with my son.

OP posts:
Mummyoflittledragon · 27/01/2023 21:45

It sounds as if your ds has a lot of support to get through what your ex did and from what you’ve written, I have no doubly your ds will be absolutely fine. Your love shines through. Being in contact with your ds’s foster carers and his birth mum is so beneficial for your ds. You are clearly a lovely and giving person.

Ginger1982 · 27/01/2023 21:45

Does he know who she is?

Brewskipa · 27/01/2023 21:45

Fuck knows why “that” came out as “margay” 😂

OP posts:
Brewskipa · 27/01/2023 21:46

@Ginger1982 yes he does, he knows that he grew in her tummy and that she has always loved him very much but did not have the resources to look after him or keep him safe so a judge decided he needed a mummy that could do that. He adores her and knows she is special, but also treats her just like any other member of our family.

OP posts:
BringMeTea · 27/01/2023 21:47

Just bloody lovely this is. So happy for both of you. 💙

FlowerTink · 27/01/2023 21:49

I love love your update and I'm so happy your beautiful boy is doing so well! It's lovely you both have each other and have such a special bond, wishing you so much luck and I'm so thrilled for you that your partner is so involved and loving too!