Boy breaks grandmother's arm by accident

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I am not going to say what happened next and what I think until I have heard a few objective opinions on here

The facts of the case

12 year old boy in sports club, leaving the main entrance on his skateboard, which he has been told is not allowed in the building, knocks over the grandmother coming to collect another child. The grandmother has a broken arm and needed an operation

This is a fairly elite sports club, you need to be able to play to a certain standard to by allowed to join. This boy has played there for a year. No serious trouble, several minor reprimands. Reasonably good player. Turns up for the team probably 80-90% of the time.

This happened last weekend. The sports club is meeting tomorrow. The parents have just heard that this boy has/has not been expelled and will/will not be there.

What do you think should happen? why?

I am allocating the voting by a toss of a coin to be random!

YABU - the boy should be expelled
YANBU - the boy should not be expelled

also, what else should happen, as well as/ instead of being expelled?

Thank you

Ahh yes I’ve lost count of the amount of times I’ve been bowled over by premature fag smoke and broke arm.

He's 12 🙄.

A telling off and maybe lose some privileges or maybe a suspension.

Expelled for being silly at 12 yrs old?

He's lucky to have your support OP.

I'm on the side of some form of consequence, maybe a suspension, but ultimately not expulsion. He was in the wrong, but he did not mean to hurt anyone. This is very different to starting a fight or causing trouble with deliberate intent.

If expelling him could have a disproportionately negative effect on his life as he grows into a teenager and young adult, then that should be a factor. 12 year old boys can be thoughtless, careless, etc. but the OP has repeated that he's a nice kid and not malicious.

I'm all for giving kids - especially those who really do need them - the opportunity to do better.

Woman can exist as independent people and not just in relation to other people.

She could have just been referred to as ‘a woman’.

Since when is a medical condition a mitigating factor ? The skateboard had already been banned - he was told not to ride inside the building, ignored it and then caused a serious injury. This was entirely avoidable if he’d done as he was told and understood why he was told not to do it - because it’s dangerous. What health conditions his victims suffers from are entirely irrelevant - and if she had osteoporosis she would have been advised to be careful, but would she really be expecting a kid who is old enough to know better, to come barrelling through a reception area on a skateboard ?

Actions have consequences and at 12 he’s old enough to understand that. A letter of apology is easy, so is making him clean the entrance for a month. Banning him completely takes away something of value to him and sends the message that what he did was unacceptable, so he has to suffer the consequences, just as his victim does.

You can break an arm on falling without being hit at all, simply by virtue of putting a hand out to save yourself.

Being ‘silly’ resulted in a broken arm for an elderly lady. Not silly for her is it ? The punishment should teach him that actions have consequences and should match the consequences that that lady has to suffer.

I’m slightly disgusted at the baying for blood from a child. Yes he did something he was told not too but he’s 12 - they don’t make the best of decisions. He should be punished but expelling is far too extreme.

What does the grandmother think should happen?

What does the boy think should happen?

Except that age is relevant when you break a bone.

He was skateboarding inside, which he had been many times not to do.

If a 12 year old was kicking a football around the living room and broke the tv would that be just written off as an accident?

There might not have been intent, but surely if he he was going through the main entrance chances are that someone would be coming in the other way!

Yes you're right. Let's burn him at the stake.

Some people on here 🙄

It was an accident

Exactly. Ageism in play here. Like we're supposed to think it was worse becasue she happenned to be a grandmother. Why would it be worse than if he'd knoocked over a kid or a 25 year old man? I can see it maybe if the woman had been in her eighties or nineties and so very frail/unable to try to avoid the boy but beng in your sixties and having children who have had children is neither here nor there. Poor kid, everyone makes mistakes, particularly young boys. Banning him from a sport he is good at and enjoys is disproportionate with his 'crime' and lack of intention.

No-one can be 100% certain of that. Suppose there is nerve damage? In any event, as I was told when I broke my wrist 30 years ago, it increases your chances of arthritis - which has proved to be the case for me.

What age? My friend was a grandmother at 36. I know another grandmother who is 98.

I hate the way that women are so often only referred to by their reproductive status or relationship to others. She could have just be ‘a woman in her 50s’.

It’s a mistake by the boy, not a malicious act. I think my reaction would depend on the boys reaction - is he apologetic? Did he stop to help at the time? Is he shocked and upset by what has happened? Or does he NGAF and ride away without stopping to help? Has he shown remorse or not?

if he’s shown remorse then I would likely suspend him for a week or two (as a broken arm requiring operation isn’t trivial) but ultimately allow him back into the team.

if this is part of a pattern of behaviour where he has shown disregard for another, I would be more severe…

Women in their sixties arent elderly!

Being kicked out of a sports club is not being burnt at the stake, publicly flogged or baying for blood don’t be so ridiculous. But you’re right some people on here 🙄

Your inclusion of so much info is interesting. Often we see individuals who are talented forgiven and let off. It is irrelevant how good he is and his attendance record. Although it could leave me to think he might be cocky and think he's untouchable (look how footballers frequently get off and even if found guilty are 'forgiven' and it doesn't affect their career.

He broke the rules, he had been told, he still skateboarded. He caused a serious accident - how did he react? How did his parents react? These things will come into play when making a decision. From what you've said I I would say suspend for a month, apology to grandmother. Banned from skateboarding within 50m of sports centre.

How is this relevant to the post ?

It was an accident at the end of the day. I don’t think any consequence should be OTT, perhaps being asked to write and apologise to the lady.
I work for a charity and we have youth come in regularly for groups and older people at different events. If this had happened we wouldn’t ban the young person from the building. We might sit down with them and make sure they understood that their choices contributed and guide them to make appropriate amends. But it’s not criminal.

Where does OP say she is "so invested"?

I think it's a bit silly to equate expulsion from an elite sports club to burning at the stake.

The real issue is whether the club, the twelve year old, and the twelve year old's parents are taking his transgression (after repeated warnings) that resulted in a fairly serious injury to an individual sufficiently seriously. This has to be seen in conjunction with his other behaviour at the club, both positive and negative. Also, it appears that others in the club have fairly strong feelings about the matter. I'd suggest they should at least be heard, or it's going to become an increasingly toxic environment for all involved, but most worryingly, for the kids.