Boy breaks grandmother's arm by accident

[Nimbostratus100]

I am not going to say what happened next and what I think until I have heard a few objective opinions on here

The facts of the case

12 year old boy in sports club, leaving the main entrance on his skateboard, which he has been told is not allowed in the building, knocks over the grandmother coming to collect another child. The grandmother has a broken arm and needed an operation

This is a fairly elite sports club, you need to be able to play to a certain standard to by allowed to join. This boy has played there for a year. No serious trouble, several minor reprimands. Reasonably good player. Turns up for the team probably 80-90% of the time.

This happened last weekend. The sports club is meeting tomorrow. The parents have just heard that this boy has/has not been expelled and will/will not be there.

What do you think should happen? why?

I am allocating the voting by a toss of a coin to be random!

YABU - the boy should be expelled
YANBU - the boy should not be expelled

also, what else should happen, as well as/ instead of being expelled?

Thank you

@Patineur so that excuses the consequences, because ‘boys will be boys’. Ok

Yes, that assumption was pointed out. And it was also said that these parents must be white middle class without any actual evidence of this, is that not prejudice? It’s not about attributing blame, for his troubled family, if you’d read my post, I clearly stated, ‘through no fault of his own’, that doesn’t detract for the fact, that certain learned behaviours, can be extremely detrimental. And no, for clarity I’m not only referring to this child’s situation. It’s unfortunate but that’s life, it’s not fair.

I have no opinion on that as again, I don’t have the facts, that’s not to say the club had made the correct decision, and who know if we are speculating, maybe they want to be the best so certain behaviours are condoned. Who knows, I certainly don’t. It wouldn’t be the first time.

Or they don’t want the child to miss out because of something nothing to do with said child.

The outcome is of course speculative at this point, however, I for one, am an advocate of consequences, and as the OP asked, I as did many others on this that expulsion is an acceptable one, considering the minimal context provided.

so that excuses the consequences, because ‘boys will be boys’. Ok
Nobody is saying there shouldn’t be consequences, just that expulsion would be a disproportionate one.

People, especially preteens, make mistakes (which sometimes involve breaking rules). This is the child’s first off-pitch offence and was entirely without malice.

A lot of kids, probably the majority, break similar rules from time to time, be it no running in school corridors or no diving/bombing at a swimming pool. 99 times out of 100 there is no resulting accident or injury and the child just gets a telling off, at most.

Yes the consequences here were serious, but expelling the child is far outside the range of normal responses for this type or rule-breaking (particularly a one-off).

He’s 12 and an elite athlete who could very well go on to have a career in sport. Elite sports clubs aren’t ten-a-penny. Kicking him out could significantly affect the rest of his life. It wouldn’t be good for him, wouldn’t benefit the club, and doesn’t benefit the victim. It would be draconian and possibly counter-productive.

We have the facts as the OP presented them and majority agree that expulsion is outside of the range of reasonable responses. The club have all of the relevant facts and also elected against expelling him (or, by the sounds of things, temporarily suspending him). Losing his skateboard and having to partake in some sort of restorative justice is far more appropriate.

He was told that skateboard use on site is against the rules and he used his skateboard and injured a person who needed an operation. If I was that person I would be taking action against the club and the child’s parents, who are responsible for their child. The injured person might need further treatment, physiotherapy, might not be able to work, drive a car, ride a bike, use their arm. It’s obvious that this sports club member broke the rules and there must be sanctions listed in the membership contract.

What's the 'silent' generation @Mark19735 ?

It's not about ill intent. It's about arrogance and flouting rules after being asked not to, and having caused serious problems to someone else because of this. So there should be consequences, not just a 'shucks, it was an accident.' 12 year olds in other countries work to keep their families fed. He's not 2. If we don't teach young people at a very impressionable age that their actions have consequences, we are raising an entitled generation who think they should be exonerated and never face any unpleasantness at all. Unfair on society and unfair on them.

I would be furious if my DC had skateboarded in a building after being told not to, and done it so close to an elderly person coming in that they knocked her over. I rekekber a teenager skating a hair's breath from me when I was pregnant and it felt bloody aggressive.

@Fuckthatguy, you're making things up. Again. You will not find one single post of mine that suggests the boy should be excused for the consequences of his actions.

For what it's worth, I've expressed absolutely no view on the colour or class of the boy's family.

I for one, am an advocate of consequences, and as the OP asked, I as did many others on this that expulsion is an acceptable one, considering the minimal context provided.

You're going to have to translate that.

Do RTFT. It's been explained rather often why suing is probably not going to get this person anywhere.

@WinterFoxes, I don't understand why you and others disagreeing with OP persist in banging on with "there should be consequences". Of course there should. Neither OP nor anyone else suggests otherwise, so I'm not sure who you think you are arguing with on that. The question was whether the club should give in to what ultimately turns out to be a tiny number of vociferous parents who want a 12 year old child to be cast into outer darkness.

It’s what I would do so that as my future medical costs/equipment were covered and in case of not being able to work.

@ButterCrackers well best of luck.

Highly unlikely that the clubs PI insurance would pay out. Although it happened on club premises its unlikely anyone could prove the club were negligent.

And taking a 12 year old to court, would probably be laughed out the court, there is the sum of his GoHenry card £10.50

@Mark19735 for the purposes of your straw poll - you’re way off by several generations actually. Assume as I consider expulsion acceptable, I fall into the ‘baying for blood’ category.

You have me mildly curious now too.

@Patineur would you care to elaborate?

I for one, would like to understand why these parents are boycotting.

As for your translation request, please do excuse me, I meant to say:

‘I for one, am an advocate of consequences, and as the OP asked, I as did many others on this thread felt that expulsion is an acceptable one, considering the minimal context provided.’

No need for rudeness.

If I was that person I would be taking action against the club and the child’s parents, who are responsible for their child
It’s been pointed out several times that the club isn’t liable, parents aren’t liable for their child’s actions, the legal fees for the case would be huge and the only compensation anyone is likely to get is whatever the kid has in his piggy bank.

Would you do it even if it was explained to you (as it has been on this thread) that you probably wouldn't win anything and risked having to pay the other side's costs?

If you're in the UK, there's no reason to think medical costs won't be covered anyway.

I’ll take “things that never happened” for ten points please. Children don’t pay compensation. They certainly don’t get an order for compensation enacted against their future earnings!

@Patineur would you care to elaborate?

Elaborate what?

@Patineur

Your unsubstantiated statement of course:

’you're making things up. Again’

I think grandmother should sue club for failing to enforce health and safety rules, thus allowing the incident to occur; perpetrator should be expelled.
Sorry, but an old lady has suffered a serious injury which, as someone pointed out, could very well alter the quality of an elderly person's life significantly.
I'm fed up of the amount of leeway youngsters are given these days. They need to learn to behave and obey rules and they won't if they're forever being excused for their misdemeanours.

But then, I wonder how the AIBU voting splits by age. I'd hazard a guess that there would be a fairly clear delineation by year-of-birth, with the 36% baying mob being disproportionally made up of the age group sometimes known as boomers, or gammons. The tendency to vilify the vulnerable, and blame others for any setbacks, runs strong in that cohort.

Well, ageism is rife - pretty normal in fact - on MN, but this takes the biscuit. Nasty and invoking offensive stereotypes. Congratulations @Mark19735 you‘ve raised the bar!

To be fair I'd imagine the older you get the more aware you are that broken bones aren't always something you just bounce back from.

The best place for these kids to “learn to behave and obey rules” is in organised activities such as sports clubs.

so removing that from this child means he is less likely to be exposed to an environment where he learns how to work within behaviour boundaries.

it’s well known that kids who participate in sports are less likely to get into trouble. So he should be punished, but allowed to continue.

Not nice, is it @EasterIsland - when people make broad-brush assumptions with limited information and very little nuance? Now perhaps try and apply that insight to the child. For anyone upset by the thought that behaviours don't appear to have consequences, I wonder why it's never their behaviours that should be subject to scrutiny? Far too many people preferring to participate in a pile-on to vilify a child, rather than providing a positive example by showing empathy for an injured person. Disgusting.

Well the sports club membership he has now hasn’t taught him respect for rules. Once the injured person sues for compensation if they can’t work or if they won’t recover full mobility and if they have medical expenses I doubt the club will want him.

I think it's pretty obvious. However:

I posted something that said, in summary, that 12 year olds can be both defiant and stupid and don't think through the consequences of their actions. I also answered your question about the possible reasons why some parents might want this one expelled permanently. And I pointed out that the club had known all about the relevant facts in on the punishment and asked why the opinion of a very small number of parents should outweigh that.
he opinion of a couple of lynch mob members outweigh that?

In response, you said:

"@Patineur so that excuses the consequences, because ‘boys will be boys’. Ok"

Thus stating that I though all of that meant that this boy should be excused of all consequences. Which isn't remotely a logical conclusion from my post, nor is it substantiated by anything else I have written on this thread. Your statement that I had said all of that excuses the consequences was fictional, so you were making things up.

HTH.

It has been pointed out numerous times on here that any legal action against the club is likely to be doomed to failure.

The club didn't excuse this boy for his misdemeanours. Have you not read OP's posts?

Cast into the darkness? Seriously not being able to play a sport is not being cast into the darkness.

At the moment it seems like he hasn't even had to miss one session of this sport, it would be interesting to know what the consequences have been for him. We know what they are for the innocent victim