BIL visiting at the weekends

[Frankielovesme]

Ok so DHs brother is very full on and goes through phases of calling into our home every weekend. Myself and DH have three children, 12,15 and 16 so kept busy and DH works long hours. Come the weekend we want to do our own thing and spend time together.
BIL currently lives in a hostel,has a drink/drug problem, divorced and doesnt see his children. He works full time and earns a very good wage. He is currently being assessed for ADHD.
He just turns up at our house on a Saturday night with alcohol and he's there for the night,has stayed on some occasions and will be here the whole best day. DH and I like a drink but not to excess and not every weekend night. We are usually up early on Saturday and Sunday for kids hobbies.BIL is extremely loud,thinks he knows everything and likes to tell myself and DH what we are doing wrong when it comes to raising our children, home improvements, holidays, other family relationships etc. He is very draining. My DH agrees but feels sorry for him because of his situation. I now dread every weekend waiting for him to arrive. He just turns up, he used to ring us beforehand but not anymore.
Last weekend I told my DH that his brother was not to call up. He agreed but didn't know how to tell BIL that we didn't want him calling around. DH said I was unwell so best not to call over. BIL rang continuously Friday night,he texted me to. We didn't answer. My DH had to text him on Saturday and Sunday to say best not call I'm as I was still unwell after he said be would call in.
I'm just waiting on his visit tonight. I feel my home or weekends are not my own.
How do we tell BIL not to just call in every weekend.

Does his surname begin with O’H and is he based around St Helen’s? Sounds v like my in laws 👍🏿☘️ You’ll never alter his behaviour - you are facilitating his addiction 👍🏿☘️

What the hell do you mean "It's not going to happen" and you're planning to just not say anything? Your poor kids.

I mean you could invite him for a monthly dinner but do you want to? You don't have to have him at all.

You are tolerating a man who is happy to support something which leads to young usually black men being killed in the UK, and thousands of deaths in Mexico and some other developing countries. That is the reality of any user of illegal drugs.

He should not be near your house at all.

A cage! Hahaha!!

Def won't get any alcohol then!

Your brother needs to tell him that some weekends are for him to spend time with you and the kids. You need some family time. You’re having a date night etc.

I think @bert3400 has the best plan- your BIL can't drink at the hostel, he knows you don't drink in the week so he doesn't bother you but he thinks the weekends are open house. Tell him that you're on a health kick and don't drink anymore then hopefully he'll leave you alone. You shouldn't have to lie but if your DH won't man up and set some rules then you're stuffed.

@eveoha , you obviously know nothing about addiction. This man has lost his home,marriage and children. Nobody has any control over an addict. They will always find a way. I'm not supplying him with drink or drugs. It's my home and I'm entitled to have a drink in my home. He's an adult and him alone is responsible for his choices in life, Good or bad. It's really a backward thing to accuse somebody of facilitating an addict.

@LlynTegid ,I'm not responsible for the life choices of any man, black, white ,Asian.