Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To want to get rid of MIL toys 🧸

61 replies

Tiredmamma8 · 27/01/2023 01:58

My MIL buys my now 7month old baby endless soft toys. Some of which aren’t even in her age range (unsafe due to small parts).

Is it mean to get rid of them and buy something she can actually use / is more interesting to a baby?

OP posts:
Thedogscollar · 27/01/2023 02:00

What is it with MN and MIL'S🤔

minou123 · 27/01/2023 02:02

Maybe, a little bit mean. But I totally understand if there are tons of soft toys everywhere, that it gets on your nerves.

As a compromise, do you have storage you can put some away and then bring them out when she's older and she can play with them?

Youcancallmeirrelevant · 27/01/2023 02:03

Justput them away until your baby is the right age

Original poster
Tiredmamma8 · 27/01/2023 02:10

We live in a one bed flat with a wardrobe for storage. She buys at least 2 every time we see her.

OP posts:
LittleLantern123 · 27/01/2023 05:54

Yes I think it's slightly mean of you. How often are you seeing your MIL? If it's every week then fair enough, 3 times a year and I don't really see a problem.

whiteroseredrose · 27/01/2023 05:57

Leave them at MIL'S house for your baby to play with when she's there.

MrsTerryPratchett · 27/01/2023 05:58

Toy hammock worked for us.

However, you do have to stop the endless buying. Would grandma do something like a savings account for university or something more practical?

GoodChat · 27/01/2023 06:00

Yes it would be mean to sell them but it's fine to say you're running out of space

Dontsparethehorses · 27/01/2023 06:00

Have you had a conversation with her about it? My mil was the same but I spoke to her about the reasons why- including as the children got older an expectation of getting a present when they saw her…!

she stopped. She wasn’t doing it maliciously just misjudged!

WonderingWanda · 27/01/2023 06:40

Could you redirect her to books instead? More useful, easier to store and easy to pass on when your child grows out of them age wise.

MintJulia · 27/01/2023 06:45

I wasn't keen on the endless polyester dust-magnets that my DP's family used to buy either. I adopted a rule of 'one in-one out' so if they looked for the latest one, it was still there, but I'd binned 50 older ones.

DS only ever wanted his rabbit any way.

Spanisheomellletttes · 27/01/2023 06:51

Agree with @MintJulia

It is still the same rule I have with my children. If they want a toy, one has to go. Have to be strict about it, though!

Asking your MIL about books is also a great idea.

18e6281o62 · 27/01/2023 07:11

I would have a word and gently steer towards something you do want or savings.

It's a waste of money, space, etc. Nobody ever wants a second hand soft toy either. My parents house is full of soft toys from myself and siblings when we grew up. Realistically, they're all destined for the tip.

Also, as PP have said, it's unsustainable; is she going to buy every grandchild the same amount of toys?

WindscreenWipe · 27/01/2023 07:13

WonderingWanda · 27/01/2023 06:40

Could you redirect her to books instead? More useful, easier to store and easy to pass on when your child grows out of them age wise.

This is the best answer.

keeprunning55 · 27/01/2023 07:18

Just keep the toys that are appropriate and you/dc like. As long as you are gracious when she gives you the toys, smile and say thank you etc. Don’t keep things you don’t want. Perhaps let her know that you now have plenty of toys so she doesn’t buy any more.

Quitelikeacatslife · 27/01/2023 07:23

Be really kind but firm , you are such a lovely grandma, so nice you like to treat her, I think she has enough teddies for a while, but books, games (or whatever) would be nice or would you like to put pocket money into an account for her?

Ponoka7 · 27/01/2023 07:23

Don't smile and say thank you, address it and as said redirect her. Age appropriate, development enhancing toys are important. Soft toys are nice for them to pick for themselves. Over summer she could come with fruit, which is no longer cheap and enjoy it with them. Just redirect her and point out your lack of space.

ImBlueDab · 27/01/2023 07:25

Can she keep the toys at her house?

Hotcrossbunnowplease · 27/01/2023 07:26

No one buys second hand soft toys, they are all over run with them too. I used to think we had too many but now older my kids play with them a lot. I would ask her to stop going forwards or you’ll need to start giving them away, books a great suggestion.

MinnieMerlot · 27/01/2023 07:30

Honestly, it’s not that hard to say DC has so many cuddly toys now that it would be lovely if she wants to buy presents to get books/whatever else you are hoping for.

ButterCrackers · 27/01/2023 07:33

Can you go shopping with your mil or send her a few links for book shopping.
if you go shopping go to a bookshop and take a lot of time looking at the great choices. Say that you can imagine all the soft toys reading a book and that this will be lovely to arrange for your child.

Typo22 · 27/01/2023 07:38

Coming from someone who's soft toys could fill The Bear Factory, I feel your pain! Most of ours are balances procariously on top of their wardrobes, open a door and there's a high possibility one of the little fuckers will jump off and attack you.

I'd go with what a previous poster said and ask her to stop as you don't have the room and it gives the expectations of gifts everytime Grandma is round.

If she continues then the next time she brings one round when she leaves make sure you shove it in her hands to live at her house.

turnipash · 27/01/2023 07:48

I agree with you. Its thoughtless and wasteful of MIL to buy multiple soft toys. She's indulging herself. Let's face it, babies dont care for that do they

Give a few to charity shop

BernadetteRostankowskiWolowitz · 27/01/2023 07:50

"Oh MIL she has a lovely collection of soft toys now, thank you so much. We definetly don't need any more. I am looking to build a nice book collection for her if you still want to buy her stuff, but I think we are set for soft toys now"

Whatthediddlyfeck · 27/01/2023 07:52

Can you ask her to buy something instead of soft toys? Just this week I have cleared a load out of my loft+they’ve never been played with because soft toys are boring for kids. My kids are 25 and 20!!

Swipe left for the next trending thread