To want to get rid of MIL toys 🧸

[Tiredmamma8]

My MIL buys my now 7month old baby endless soft toys. Some of which aren’t even in her age range (unsafe due to small parts).

Is it mean to get rid of them and buy something she can actually use / is more interesting to a baby?

She is doing it of self gratification. When I ask my mum to stop buying shit and instead put the money into the kids ISA's if she wanted to give something frequently I got the cats bum mouth and 'I'm not giving you my money' 🙄

Talk. To. Her.

or if you can't talk to your MIL, like a lot of MNers, get your DH to talk to her. Tell her, it's lovely that you want to show love like this but it's unsustainable, child can't play with them/so many and we have no room.

Absolutely talk to her! She's not doing it maliciously. Send her the links for something that your DD would want. If she's going to spend her money at least direct her in the right direction.

We got loads of shit we didn’t want or need when the kids were little. I smiled and thanked them and it went on EBay, to charity shop or as a regift.

"Hi MIL, it's so nice that you want to give DD presents all the time, but she has so many cuddly toys now and we are running out of space. How would you feel about getting her books instead? That way you can start reading them to her when you come over and it will really help with her language development. Or perhaps you could buy her experiences instead, like soft play/baby swimming/a trip to the aquarium?"

I wouldn't get rid of them but maybe ask her to keep the unused ones at her house until your DC is old enough to play with them.

Apart from two teddies, one pink elephant and a soft doll, my DTs showed no interest in soft toys. They just take up space and gather dust. A toy hammock with a few in is a good idea. As others have said, redirect her to books or duplo . If she sees the children frequently it’s important they don’t come to expect a present every time. Try having a chat.

My 10mo was given loads of soft toys when he was born, he's still not interested in any of them. We also have limited space but thankfully both sets of grandparents are great at asking us what we want/need before buying (which we are very grateful for) and we haven't had any since. So I get it.

You don't need to make a big deal of this. The next time she does it, say something along the lines of 'thank you! DD had so many lovely teddies now - please don't feel like you need to bring presents every time you visit. We are actually starting to run out of space for them in the flat now anyway!' then if she insists either ask if she would mind keeping them at hers (due to space), or suggest she buys DD some books instead (because DD already has lots of teddies).

Rather than giving any of the ones that she's already bought away, could you suggest she keeps them at her house for when DD visits? If that feels uncomfortable then this is a great organisation: teddytrust.org.uk/

This is what we did at Christmas and it worked a treat! No wasted time/money and DS has a lovely and varied selection of age appropriate toys and books.

One grandparent paid for a term of sensory classes because he really didn't need anymore toys than what we had already suggested.

If she sees the children frequently it’s important they don’t come to expect a present every time. Try having a chat.

Very good point. It's lovely of your MIL, but probably best to stop this before it becomes an expectation.

As long as you are gracious when she gives you the toys, smile and say thank you etc.

Maybe it's time to be less gracious, otherwise she will think you are delighted to get all these soft toys. You need to get her to stop. Suggests she watches the new series of Sort your Life Out with Stacy Solomon on the BBC to see what becomes of the soft toy mountain. I also would try and get rid of most of them while they are pristine rather than played with a bit. Or if you want to be nice, you could say. 'she really loves that teddy, she's just not interested in anything else.' Some of the stuff for older children you can point out what it says on the label and ask her to store at her house until your DC is bigger. If they clutter up her house, she might get the hint!

Get an empty bean bag and put them in that.

That’s a lot of soft toys! Your DH needs to ask her to stop buying things from a space and environmental point of view.

I did a Christmas list for baby that was given to everyone as I wanted to steer clear of soft toys, she gave us 3 😂

Shes not really someone who listens to others.

I have a cupboard rammed full of huge soft toys. Very tacky ones that I couldn’t even put out on display in his room. Ones a huge football mascot for example 🙈 I don’t say anything, I just throw them straight in the cupboard 😂

YANBU. DC is 8 months, and 9/10 toys are pointless

Warn her then. Tell her you’re worried that if she gives you any more you’ll have to start giving some to charity as you don’t have room. And then if she does, do it. She can’t say she wasn’t told.

Shes not really someone who listens to others.

would she listen to her own son? How about when she turns up with one, you give it to her when she leaves to take to her place? And reiterate that they are unwanted and you have no space for them

Can you or your dh not just send her. message or speak to her and say you are decluttering/sorting stuff out and please don't buy anything for her for a while while you sort out what you have/need?

This

We instituted a complete soft toy ban when DC1 was born. Family members are not allowed to give our DC soft toys as gifts. Our DC get one soft toy a year from us for Christmas and that's it.

We've somehow still ended up with around 30 of the fuckers and DC1 is only 5 😬. I feel your pain.

Shes not really someone who listens to others.

Unless you've explicitly said you don't want/need anymore soft toys for DD then you can't use this as a reason for her continuing to turn up with them.

If you keep accepting them, she will probably keep giving them.

That's really good advice!

Well your LO will grow fast so keep them?

Just bung it in a bag with the rest and wait a few months till DC has outgrown it; then send it brand new to a charity shop.