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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To get a fast pass?

29 replies

MsChatterbox · 26/01/2023 19:00

I feel stuck in the middle.

My friend recently mentioned they are going to a theme park and would my family like to come (we would pay for ourselves). I said yes and then mentioned I would probably get a fast pass as my son is autistic and would really struggle with the queues. Friend then seemed offended and said "what so I would queue and you wouldn't?".

I understand her side of things because essentially it means we wouldn't be fully going "together" just meeting up at different points. And going on rides together and viewing things with no queue.

But I don't think it would be an enjoyable day for anyone if we tried to make hour long queues work with my son.

As to not drip feed, we will most likely get the fast pass for free with an application to the park due to disability.

Also we are part of a larger friendship group where more families can be invited so they are not being forced to spend it alone by choosing to invite us.

I feel it's the right decision for my family but have a pang of guilt that it is not fair to them. I don't think it's financially viable for them to get the pass (and we couldn't afford to get it for them either).

So...

YABU your friend invited you. Either go together as they intended or turn it down.

YANBU your friend should be understanding in this matter and realise it is better for everyone this way.

OP posts:

declutteringmymind · 26/01/2023 19:05

Go on another day without your friend, or with friends that are a bit more chilled.

Oysterbabe · 26/01/2023 19:07

Absolutely get the fast pass. These places are a waste of time without them. Queuing for an hour for a 1 minute ride is not a fun day out.

balloontrip · 26/01/2023 19:07

I think I would have said no to going with others under these circumstances.

Your friend is a twat for being offended at you using debilities provided for disable people for your disabled child though.

SausagePourHomme · 26/01/2023 19:07

are you sure you can get a fast pass? have you checked the criteria and what they actually offer?
at disney for example they now have DAS. the criteria are very stringent (more so than they used to be, being autistic is not enough on its own) and you don't skip the queue, you wait 'somewhere else'.
are you able to say which theme park?

Wolfiefan · 26/01/2023 19:08

Doesn’t the pass allow multiple people? I think Alton Towers allows 6.

Holliegee · 26/01/2023 19:10

I think given the fast pass and your sons disability it will always prove difficult using theme parks as days out with friends who do t have them xx

XenoBitch · 26/01/2023 19:10

YANBU
Fast pass is the only way to do theme parks nowadays.

What theme parks are open at the moment? I thought they would all be closed until March/April at least.

Ponderingwindow · 26/01/2023 19:11

It would make for an extremely awkward day. I always try to get fast pass or equivalent, but it needs to be your whole group.

Vgbeat · 26/01/2023 19:11

That's not going together then. I can see her side she's invited you and your going to go off and leave her that's not having a day out together.

itswednesdayy · 26/01/2023 19:13

If your son is going to be distressed at being in the queues for hours, it’s not fair on anyone (especially him) for you to force him to do that. Imagine how scared he must be. And Imagine all the staff and other visitors that might be distressed if he has a breakdown too. Your friend needs to grow up, it’s not about her.

Lindy2 · 26/01/2023 19:13

Merlin fast passes are usually for 4 people.

How many of you are going? If more than 4 you could perhaps take turns as to who the other 3 riders are. Your son always uses the fast pass of course because it's for him.

Again, assuming Merlin - you don't get instant access to the rides. You book your time slot on the app and arrive at the ride at your alloted time. If the queue is 45 minutes, you still wait 45 minutes but just not in the queue.

If your friends still find that awkward just go on another day alone.

balloontrip · 26/01/2023 19:14

Vgbeat · 26/01/2023 19:11

That's not going together then. I can see her side she's invited you and your going to go off and leave her that's not having a day out together.

She invited a parent and their disabled child, she should expect the parent to have to accommodate said child.

itswednesdayy · 26/01/2023 19:15

Alton towers allows 3 guests:

The Ride Access Pass is a system we have in place to help guests who require extra assistance or are unable to queue due to a condition or disability. This allows them access to the rides via a queuing system for themselves and up to three people (one of which must be age 14+).

Cheeseandabsolutelycrackers · 26/01/2023 19:15

We did this at alton towers last year and the autistic child's pass allowed 3 people to accompany him so the other children and adults just took it in turns.

You need to be prepared for queues in any event though as there are so many people with fast passes these days that they still have to queue

BlisterWives · 26/01/2023 19:15

I used to get them for my DS and my whole family of 4 were eligible to go in the rides with him and miss or nearly miss the queue. It could be worth emailing and asking what the protocol is? If not I don’t think your joint trip will work as you’ll just end up texting all day and trying to meet up after rides etc.

DuplicateUserName · 26/01/2023 19:16

Will your friend's DC understand why they have to queue and your DC doesn't?

WestOfWestminster · 26/01/2023 19:20

I can see why your friend is a bit miffed. She's invited you on a day out and you won't be together for it, so seems a bit pointless to go on the same day.

I think your son/family needing a fast pass is fair enough, but its a bit off to go on the same day when they invited you to go with them.

TidyDancer · 26/01/2023 19:24

I don't think either of you are unreasonable tbh, but I do think it probably isn't viable for you to go on the trip together. If it is part of a bigger group trip then it's possibly workable but I think when you go somewhere like this together then it's reasonable to expect to spend the whole day with each other.

You're not wrong to use the fast pass and your friend isn't wrong to be disappointed you won't be staying together.

PuttingDownRoots · 26/01/2023 19:25

You need to do whats right for your child. If he can't cope with crowds, queuing etc, and the disability fast pass can help, then thats what you need to do.

Its a bit different to part of a group paying for a premium experience

Jojo19834 · 26/01/2023 19:25

💯 see why you want to get the fast pass, and makes entire sense. I think what is weird is you accept an invite to go with her, then don’t. Think you should have declined and gone as a family another time. Queuing doesn’t work for you, so you don’t have to go with others who can’t upgrade

Cocobutt · 26/01/2023 19:29

YABU

Just say no and if you still want to go on that exact same day then tell her that you might see her there.

She’s inviting you to go with her - if you’re not going to go around together then go any day.

If she is inviting you because you have children who are friends then I would go and not get the fast pass.

But other than that there is literally no point in going together if you’re barely going to see each other.

jtaeapa · 26/01/2023 19:30

Ask them to go with another family that day.

And take your own family without this family.

LassoOfTruth · 26/01/2023 19:32

Honestly in a large group at these places you’ll be splitting up all the time anyway as people want to go on different rides/ go to the toilet etc etc Rather than trying to stick together all the time I’d suggest having times/places to regroup throughout- for snacks or particular rides whatever- it’s less stressful. And certainly get whatever fast pass they have if you can. If you’re doing a ride all together and the wait time is manageable for your son maybe you don’t need to use it 100% of the time. Anyway you know his needs best not your friend.

GroggyLegs · 26/01/2023 19:32

You absolutely should get the fast pass if your child is entitled to one, but I don't think that works as part of a group day out.

Half the day is keeping each other amused in the queue.

purplecorkheart · 26/01/2023 19:36

Personally I would just have politely refuse and thanked them for the invite. If they asked I would explain that you mostly likely would have to use fast track and this would not be the best day out together. Could you suggest an alternative that would suit everyone another time?

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