When does it get easier ?? 3 year old

[whenoplease]

My DD just turned three and she's such a handful.

She has been a handful since she was around 15 months. Absolute park at 2 and a half.

Sometimes I think things are getting a bit better, but then we have some bad days.

The tantrums, the whingeing, the screaming when she doesn't get her way is really getting to me.

At the moment we are really struggling with brushing hair, bath time and drying hair. It's like someone is trying to murder her. She just screams her head off and I don't know how to help. I stay cool most of the time and name her feelings etc. I do that whole thing, but it's only getting about 10 percent easier I would say. Sometimes I just don't know if she understands me.

The main improvements have been that sometimes her tantrums aren't as severe and she calms down quicker. But there are still bad days.

She throws stuff around when she's angry and throws tantrums when things don't go her way. It's exhausting. When does this get better ?

I try to make sure she's not over tired / hungry etc. but some days are awful.

She's at nursery a few days a week ( she started a new one a few weeks ago ).

I really don't like screaming at her, but very occasionally I snap. She had a bath earlier and was an absolute nightmare. I stayed cool the entire time and she actually apologised to me afterwards, which I found interesting.

Then when I was drying her hair, I shouted at her a bit because she was just screaming the whole time and trying to run away.

At night she's been awake for 2-3 hours just whingeing and complaining and I also shouted at her last night because I just can't take it anymore. I've not had good sleep in so long as I also have a 9 month old baby and I'm currently ill, suffering from a migraine.

It's all a lot. What can I do to get her to just calm down ? I know not all 3 year olds are like this !

Honestly if bath time is that bad just cut her hair into a bob. My DD had this and it was SO easy in terms of washing and brushing. Dried quickly too without needing a hairdryer.

I'm consisting just that. Does it really make it easier to cut it shorter? It's also a bit curly, which doesn't help. Everyone is saying 'don't cut, don't cut' her hair is so nice, but they're not the ones dealing with it every day.

*considering

Surely she doesn’t need her hair washed every day? I would just wash it once a week on a morning and leave it to dry naturally. Use a leave in condition and gently brush a small section at the bottom while taking the weight of hair and then a bit higher and keep going so you’re hardly pulling on het hair when you’re brushing it.

Oh yeah I wash her hair once a week. But it needs brushing every day. She sleeps with it tied to the side loosely and never wears it down, yet it's always really knotty. Especially on the sides as the front and underneath.

Yes but my point is that it is only ever SEN which is suggested, normally pretty instantly. We’re doing kids a disservice if we can’t think of anything apart from that.

You have a threenager. They are total dicks but it gets better.

Try and think that they are only three and emotionally very immature. Their speech may be great and we may expect too much of them because of that.

I feel for you because when my one was three I was also on mn looking for advice. I started a support thread for parents of three year olds and that helped to make me laugh.

Much better day today. No issues at all getting ready etc. it was a breeze today !

She really has days and moods. I need to try correlating it to less obvious stuff like being tired etc..

She does keep waking up at 4-5 telling me she's hungry. Maybe she needs to eat more. Maybe it's some kind of growth spurt. I gave her some toast in bed at 5, she ate it and fell asleep again until 7. So she must have been genuinely hungry. I thought she ate quite well yesterday, but it sounds like she needs more.

Thanks everyone for your input ! I had the night from hell last night with D and V again. Being a parent when feeling unwell is just so so hard.

I'm glad you had a better day! There are so many things that can affect their mood and behaviour when they are little, it's easy to forget that they are going through a lot too, as are we. I really hope you feel much better soon!

It really is hell being ill and parenting. Do whatever it takes for you to get through those days. Tv and snacks galore.

I have a 7 year old and a 3 year old. They were/are both hard work at 3. From memory it does start to get easier once they are 4, I think they start to be able to regulate their emotions a bit better sso tantrums become fewer and farther between. My 7 year old has her moments but is about 20% of the emotional work of the 3 year old.

Have you tried porridge before bed? My DD is 3.5 and sometimes if she’s not eaten as much during the day, I’ll give her a bowl of porridge with mashed banana as a late supper and it seems to fill her up overnight.

She also was a bit of a handful from
around 18months to 3 ish. She’s 3.5 now and just seems to have matured a bit, I can reason with her and she understands why we need to do certain tasks. Reward charts really helped, as did plain old bribery!

I would try adding more protein into her diet and even offer toast or greek yoghurt before bed. My son started waking at 5am at 3 and usually because he's going through a growth spurt and constantly hungry.

Look up Dr Becky Kennedy (via Instagram or her book) I found her really useful for understanding how to deal with tantrums.
or read ‘how to talk so kids listen and listen so kids talk’ useful as well and along the same lines as dr Becky

when do they stop being dicks - currently in a horrible stage of him being a dick 😆😆😆😆 starts school sept 26 does this help???

when do they stop being dicks - currently in a horrible stage of him being a dick 😆😆😆😆 starts school sept 26 does this help???