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Original poster

To worry 22 yo ds didn't come home last night

44 replies

nottoooldtochange · 26/01/2023 14:43

Ds 22 has just moved back in with us, however we don't live in the same area he grew up in as we moved 250 miles away due to dh work, initially he stayed on in our hometown where his dad lives but recently moved here due to a good job opportunity with dh.

Last night about 6:30pm he was at a lose end so said he was just going to pop out for a bit but didn't say where and he didn't come back, it seemed a bit spare of the moment and he hasn't taken his car.

He isn't answering any texts and his messenger says he hasn't been active since yesterday and he's usually on there all the time.

I know he's an adult but he doesn't know anyone here plus he didn't take anything with him.
It's all really strange and doesn't make sense but yet he's 22 and a grown up.
Would you be worried?

OP posts:
FlipFlops4Me · 26/01/2023 14:45

I'd be concerned but looking back to when my son was 22 - radio silence and absence meant he'd pulled and was otherwise engaged!

Happygone · 26/01/2023 14:45

Yes I would be. I hope he gets in touch soon

VapeVamp12 · 26/01/2023 14:47

I think the fact he doesn't know anyone and hasn't been active on his phone would concern me.

Climbles · 26/01/2023 14:48

Of course you going to be worried. He should have checked in. However, the overwhelming likelihood is he is fine. My guess is he’s had a drink, pulled and his phone has died.

ChocChipOwl · 26/01/2023 14:49

Yes I'd be absolutely frantic.

But this depends on normal levels of engagement with suppose. Is this out of the ordinary for him or does he have form for being rather thoughtless?

ScatteredMama82 · 26/01/2023 14:50

I would be worried OP. Does he have WhatsApp? Can you see if your messages are being delivered? (Suggesting his phone is still switched on)?

ICanHideButICantRun · 26/01/2023 14:52

Should he have been at work today?

I know you're worried, but he's been used to doing whatever he wanted and he isn't used now to reporting in. I hope you hear from him soon.

Newusernameaug · 26/01/2023 14:53

Yes I’d be really worried and have a 19 yr old living at home who’s very independent etc

Nimbostratus100 · 26/01/2023 14:54

yes, I worry about my adult sons too. He needed to tell you if he wasn't coming back over night - simple rule

One thing though, are you sure he isn't back? My son has come in late and gone straight to bed in the past, and I didn't realise he was home - hes really thin, so not even a visible lump under the duvet

Now we have a set place for him to leave his key, so I can see at a glance if he is in or out

Nimbostratus100 · 26/01/2023 14:54

good point, is he at work?

KILM · 26/01/2023 14:55

Tindr/Bumble date maybe - but did he go to work?

Original poster
nottoooldtochange · 26/01/2023 14:58

ChocChipOwl · 26/01/2023 14:49

Yes I'd be absolutely frantic.

But this depends on normal levels of engagement with suppose. Is this out of the ordinary for him or does he have form for being rather thoughtless?

He's usually very polite and considerate and he knows I'd be worried, If he's ever pulled in the past it's been either a planned date or he's been clubbing not out for a walk on a Wednesday night.

OP posts:
Original poster
nottoooldtochange · 26/01/2023 14:59

ICanHideButICantRun · 26/01/2023 14:52

Should he have been at work today?

I know you're worried, but he's been used to doing whatever he wanted and he isn't used now to reporting in. I hope you hear from him soon.

He worked all weekend so has a couple of days off.

OP posts:
Yfory · 26/01/2023 15:00

I have a ds the same age and dont usually worry (he doesnt live at home) but In the circumstances you've described op yes I would be concerned. I hope he checks in with you soon.

Original poster
nottoooldtochange · 26/01/2023 15:01

Nimbostratus100 · 26/01/2023 14:54

yes, I worry about my adult sons too. He needed to tell you if he wasn't coming back over night - simple rule

One thing though, are you sure he isn't back? My son has come in late and gone straight to bed in the past, and I didn't realise he was home - hes really thin, so not even a visible lump under the duvet

Now we have a set place for him to leave his key, so I can see at a glance if he is in or out

Not in bed the chain wasn't across the front door and his bedroom door is open so I knocked and went in to check.

OP posts:
RosieLemonadeAndSugar · 26/01/2023 15:02

Do you know any of his friends? Maybe from work? Anywhere he potentially could have gone?

I'd call the police at this point if this is unusual for him.

Queenshandbag · 26/01/2023 15:02

He’s probably pulled and his phone has run out of battery but if he doesn’t get in touch by 6pm or come home, I would call the police for advice.

ifonly4 · 26/01/2023 15:03

Even though he's independent, he's an adult staying in your home and would realise he should at least make it clear what his intentions are or if they change. When our 21 DD is at home, all we ask is for her to let us know if her plans change, roughly who she's with and where. Works both ways, I'd hope she'd be worried if we didn't come home.

So, yes, I'd be worried. Do you have any contact details of anyone he used to know in old area? Is he likely to have any id on him? If not, I think I'd phone the local hospital and police to check no one fitting his description has turned up there.

Hope you hear from him soon.

BernardsarenotalwaysSaints · 26/01/2023 15:03

In these circumstances, yes, I would be concerned. As pp has said I'd leave it until 6 & if I'd still not heard anything I'd contact the police.

RosieLemonadeAndSugar · 26/01/2023 15:03

Queenshandbag · 26/01/2023 15:02

He’s probably pulled and his phone has run out of battery but if he doesn’t get in touch by 6pm or come home, I would call the police for advice.

I'd like to think this was the answer but who pulls going for a walk on a Wednesday night. I mean hey, it can happen, but unlikely.

I don't think 'going for a walk' was entirely the truth either at this point

biscuiteer · 26/01/2023 15:04

He's no doubt absolutely fine OP. I would probably worry too, but don't let your imagination run. Try to think that you wouldn't know where he was when he wasn't living at home and you didn't worry then.

YellowAndGreenToBeSeen · 26/01/2023 15:08

He probably matched with someone one Tinder etc and the ‘walk’ was meeting them for a date. It seems it went well…

He should have texted he was staying at a mates though.

Amandasummers · 26/01/2023 15:09

Obviously no advice but thinking of you op, I'd be feeling the same as you in this situation

snowsilver · 26/01/2023 15:09

I'd be frantic if it was out of character. Do you know anyone on his friends list who you could contact?

I hopehe turns up soon and you can tell him off for being inconsiderate but if he doesn't I would ring police after 24 hours.

Ladybrrrd · 26/01/2023 15:09

I'd be worried, adding to the chorus. If it got to after six, maybe see if you can get hold of mates? If not, then I think its a 101 (at least) matter.

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