Is it rude to turn down a cup of tea?

[Ivelostmyglow]

Started a new job at the weekend, teaching a girl with dyslexia in her home. We were working away and the mum offered me a cup of tea, I said ‘No thank you, I’m ok’ in a nice way. She looked at me quite strangely…was this rude, is it rude to turn down a drink in another’s home? (I’d brought a small bottle of water with me as I have a cough and had already had coffee that morning, not long before)

How odd! I don't drink tea or coffee so always refuse and never get that reaction!

Not rude, just crazy. I’d love a good cuppa right now.

Hope not, I don't drink tea or coffee so answer will always be a polite No

Either a. She works in people's homes and only refuses if she doesn't trust he washing up so wondered if you were judging her home
B. She'd never refuse tea and thinks you're a freak

Not rude, I suspect you’re overthinking her look.

Some people view tea as social lubricant.

I don’t drink it myself but I force myself to at older relatives houses and they find it incomprehensible to not want tea at any given point.

She definitely gave me quite a confused, sort of horrible look 😬

For my taste most people make tea too strong and coffee to weak, so I would always turn it down

No. I often get if I would like a drink when I am in a patients home (Community Nurse) my line is "I am fine thank you but thanks so much for asking" and leave it at that.

I usually turn it down too if i'm offered tea . I love drinking tea and coffee but I take mine with soya milk and i wouldn't expect anyone to have it in unless they take it too obvs and sometimes it's too long and boring to explain that i don't like it black so it's easier to decline politely.

I don't drink tea or coffee so I always decline. Really weird if she did find it rude!

It's not likely to be the tea. Maybe, if you are in her home for the first time, she was just attempting to start a conversation and you closed it down? Perhaps she wasn't sure if she was in the way - if she should stay or leave? Or anything, really.

No, but I always say yes otherwise MiL, I mean, the person who offered seems to ask if I'm absolutely sure I don't want a tea every 10 minutes until I leave.

Far less rude to politely decline than to waste their effort at making one and leave it there untouched or risk spitting it out in disgust.

Some people can find it extraordinarily difficult to comprehend the words "no thank you, I don't like coffee or tea" Elaboration tends to be required as the intital "no thankyou" often results in a Mrs Doyle-esque response of further offerings of hot beverages.

Did this happen in England? It's actually illegal to refuse a cup of tea in England if you're in a private residence. It's an old law and hasn't been enforced for over 70 years but technically she could have called the police.

The same is true for custard cremes.

No - just say no I'm okay thank you

No, not rude at all. Maybe she didn’t mean to look at you oddly?

I always accept a cup of tea though as I’m incurably addicted!

Perhaps she is just anxious that tutoring goes well

@neverknowinglyunreasonable is right 🤣

She was probably wondering what else is wrong with you

No, the only time you must accept is if you are visiting the Catholic fathers on Craggy Island.
NB do not offend the housekeeper by asking for coffee instead.

I think it will be the bottle of water that you brought which caused the tension. If you'd said "no thanks but could I have a glass of water" all would be ok. DM and all other female relatives would be very very offended by BYO drinks and think you were implying she was unhygienic.

In Ireland refusing a cup of tea is a capital punishment offence.

No it's not rude. I have to avoid caffeine so always refuse as I carnt guarantee it's decaffeinated.

Police offers are advised to accept them to be polite (but generally not drink them! 😆).