Is it rude to turn down a cup of tea?

[Ivelostmyglow]

Started a new job at the weekend, teaching a girl with dyslexia in her home. We were working away and the mum offered me a cup of tea, I said ‘No thank you, I’m ok’ in a nice way. She looked at me quite strangely…was this rude, is it rude to turn down a drink in another’s home? (I’d brought a small bottle of water with me as I have a cough and had already had coffee that morning, not long before)

Not rude, she was just being weird, I don't drink tea or coffee, never had weird looks when turning it down politely.

Oh lord… all the non tea drinkers are out.

Where I live tea is basically a religion so yes, here yabu. I suspect this might be her thought process too. I also drink tea constantly throughout the day and yes I find it odd (but would never say so in RL) that others don’t feel the same. It’s so comforting.

You're definitely overthinking it. Someone might give you a confused look if they are the type that never says no, but a horrible look? Come on now.

That's the kind of look I give anyone who turns down a brew

No, she’s weird or you misinterpreted her face and she was joking with you.

I say oh that's nice of you to offer would you mind if I had some water? This is because I'm fussy and like coffee a certain way.

When I ask relatives who visit, if they say yes I enjoy pandering to them, some say no and I automatically think why not? I wouldn't give a funny look however.

I once was made a tea with an alternative milk (almond?) and it turned into funny looking flakes floating about. I politely drank it. Shudders.

I’ve lived in England and Ireland and don’t drink tea, coffee or juice. A trail of offended women litters my path through life.

Yanbu to refuse a cup of tea. Sounds like a misunderstanding to me. Either you misinterpreted her look, or she misinterpretated the manner or tone in which you said no.

It is perfectly fine to say no to a cup of tea so you haven't done anything wrong.

Not rude, especially when you’re providing a service. She probably just felt a bit awkward.

Never thought about it but I always say yes. Even in the absolutely filthy house from which we once bought a puppy. I thought boiling water sterilises so it would probably be OK. I guess subconsciously I must think it’s rude.

I don't drink tea or coffee either, and so long as you refused politely, it's fine.

I've lived overseas, including one situation where my host had got up at 6am to collect wood and water to ensure I had tea as that was a standard part of breakfast. At that point I did gratefully accept. But if it's less effort than that, it's a no (thanks) from me.

That's her resting tea face

Yanbu, of you don't want a drink don't have one. But if I am offered a hot drink I'll always have a tea over a coffee as I am hugely fussy about how I have my coffee. Even dh doesn't make it right, but he does do a nice filter coffee so I'll let him make me one of those 😉

Tea makes me throw up. Fortunately I have yet to be disowned by my Yorkshire tea-obsessed family.

(I regularly get gobsmacked faces though as people don't believe you can have tea intolerance...)

As an adult I have found I can't have tea first thing in the morning or if I haven't eaten in a while as it makes me feel/be sick. And I was basically brought up on tea!

Not rude at all, perhaps she looks at everyone like that!
I don't drink tea so always say no

Were you abrupt ? Did you stop the teaching for a minute and say something conversational
As a mum, I suspect part of the interruption and offering was a check in to see if her child and you were ok- that there weren’t tears or tantrums going on 😉
id have responded with something like “ that’s very kind of you, I bought some water though and that’s ok for me while teaching…we’re getting on well here ( or some other comment ), thanks anyway “

@Newlifestartingatlast I wasn’t rude and it was whilst she’d been there a while pottering around in the kitchen and we’d been talking (it was right at the start, si just getting all the info off her)

I hate tea! there, I said it 🙈

Would it have been rude to ask for a coffee instead? I really wanted a coffee 😅

*So

Right ho - not that then…
yep, ask for a coffee next time…nowt wrong with that

I highly offended new neighbours by refusing tea in their house the first time was there. I mean the husband had offered and seemed really annoyed. I accepted every time after that and all was well but it was brought up later that I has refused the first visit. So I don't think you imagined it. Maybe she wanted a tea herself but thought it would be rude to have one in front of you.

It’s really odd the way some people just can’t get their heads around not drinking tea.

People can be strange, her horrible look was about her, not you.

Focus on your client, her daughter, & practice bland politeness & no reaction to any peculiarities from the mother.

My own mother does this too.

Also - this video is too good not to shoehorn in

You can turn down tea whenever you wish to turn down tea.