Only poor people get the bus…

[EmpressOfTheSofa]

..I was told yesterday by a close relative. In the context of mocking me.

I get a bus to work. My bus stop is literally outside my house and ten minutes later it drops me off outside my work. I pay £70 a month for this.

If I drive to work it costs petrol plus £135 a month parking fees, and the closest two car parks are each a ten minute walk from work. It also takes longer to drive because of the one way system/bus lanes. It’s a no brainer.

But I got roundly mocked and told she wouldn’t be seen dead on public transport.

This was in the context of her admiring a new item I’d bought and I said oh funnily enough two separate ladies at the bus stop have also complimented it, she then shrieked with laughter and said there’s a weird contrast between having an expensive X and then getting public transport and that I probably look like a weirdo. That the only people who use buses outside of London are poor people who can’t afford to drive.

She’s bonkers, right? And a tad nasty? I’ve been stewing on this for a couple of days and shouldn’t let her rile me but ffs.

Definitely not true at all. My parents are comfortable and my mum drives a £75,000 car, lives outside of London but still gets the bus when she's working in certain parts of our city. It's so much easier sometimes than finding parking and getting through traffic. I wouldn't worry about it, my grandmother still believes anyone who hasn't been to university won't do well in the world but that isn't the case at all! Old habits die hard

Depends where you live. In London public transport is useful and is used by everyone. When I lived in London it felt like people from all backgrounds were on the bus. Now I live in Yorkshire and it’s pretty much true that largely poor people get the bus because the buses are crap, so anyone who can get a car will get a car. So the bus is just poor people or those with health conditions or disability. I fall into the latter category.

I mean she’s a massive arsehole for the fact that you can’t drive for medical reasons so what are you supposed to do, get a chauffeur??

But buses are great. We get buses wherever we go, sometimes get odd looks from people when we do it on holiday while everyone else is getting a cab but it’s usually cheaper and with smartphones and apps, it is easy not to get lost. Even if you don’t speak the language. My only caveat to that is if there’s not actually a bus that goes where you want to go, which is as big an issue in the UK as anywhere.

The real question here is not about private v public transport. It is why this relative treats you like this.

What was your dynamic growing up OP? Did you have more/less materially than her?
My sister treats me like that. I reduced contact with her as her constant put downs, often said ‘jokingly’ left me feeling worse every time we met or spoke on the phone. She probably speaks like that to you as it’s become a habit by now and she likes the feeling of superiority. Don’t give her the opportunity anymore. Tell her you are busy/on the way out/washing your hair every single time.
And well done on your apprenticeship. I hope you enjoy where it takes you.

I’m so glad I live in Edinburgh as our bus and tram prices are £1.80 for a adult to travel anywhere in the city, 90p for a child, and a day ticket is £4.50 or £2.20 for a child plus everyone under 23 gets free bus travel in Scotland

I don't drive (the world is safer that way). I use buses a lot in central London, less so elsewhere but i can usually walk everywhere I need to go.

All fares are £2 here until end of March.
Parking for the day in my town is £15/day.

I wish I had this dilemma. Public transport is awful, where I live. Going to nearest city , 10 miles away, takes 40 minutes , runs once per hour, stops at 6pm and costs £4.40. I’ll use that much for petrol, but car is a lot more convenient.

I met up with a friend recently for lunch and a couple of drinks, thought ill get the bus rather than taxi, bus stop is 10 min walk form home arrive at bus station and a 10 min walk to the pub. taxi rank was 1 minute from the pub for trip home.

Cost for the bus £2.80 cost for the taxi home £7.20. it's about 3 miles

I shall either be walking ( weather permitting) or taxi in future. bus by the way was filthy

I wouldnt matter if taking the bus took you longer, was more inconvenient or cost you more. It's entirely your choice how you get anywhere. No one should be mocked for making a decision like that

If on a night out I usually get the bus rather than a taxi. More social, better atmosphere, no creepy driver and they take debit card rather than taxis who still insist on cash.

eyebrows have been raised that I do this…

yes she is being bonkers, nasty and wrong.

people who take the bus include:
those who are environmentally conscious and don't want to contribute to urban pollution if there's a reasonable alternative
people whose journey by car would require complicated car parking arrangements
people who are happy to cycle on good weather days but prefer to travel inside a closed conveyance if the weather is horrible
people with epilepsy or sight issues that make driving inadvisable
people intending to go for a drink after work such that they wouldn't be legal to drive home afterwards

none of these categories are restricted to poor people.

I get buses loads and I consider myself reasonably well off (DC in private school and do our weekly groceries shop at waitrose at least once a month to get good quality stuff into the larder, but car is 10 years old and we only manage a holiday every other year so not totally rolling in it).

I don’t have the option to take a bus to work, neither does DH. The better public transport is the more people that use it and then there are less cars on the road. A win for both car drivers and those who take public transport.
Anyone who looks down on certain choices because ‘poverty’ are idiots. Plenty of people can and do end up struggling financially. Naturally most people think it will never be them, but life can throw a curveball at any of us.

She's partly right, but some have no choice.

Since I fell into poverty (55 year old Covid redundancy) I've discovered that I can get into Central London from SE London by taking 2 buses (70 minutes) for £1.65.

Prior to that I would have taken the train (23 minutes) for £4.20.

Now that I'm reduced to counting pennies the difference seems enormous!

People who are obsessed with not looking poor tend to have a lot less money than they want you to think.

I agree.

Plus has she ever heard of the environment?

I used to live in Switzerland. There was no stigma there in getting the bus, rich people used it. Does she ever take trains? They’re public transport too! Ignore her or tell her she’s a snobby jerk.

What? Not that I agree that poor people use the bus, but you realise how expensive is running the car, right? More than paying even £200-300 for monthly train ticket.

The whole idea is bonkers anyway. I think it's people who have good access to public transport get the bus. I don't. We have terrible connection, so can't be without car otherwise we're screwed.

remember when you went to school for no payment? It was the people who are now over sixty whose taxes paid for that, and for your GP, and for the street lighting, and the dustbin collection . Oh , and the bus pass for kids who needed school transport.

Thanks for the unnecessary ageism, though.

God I'd love to take the bus to work! It sounds super convenient for you in terms of your commute, the undeniable environmental benefits and I'd be able to read on my commute which I miss enormously since having to drive to work!

This is the issue where I live (SW, rural) but we can’t use the bus as it won’t get us to school or work on time or home, if they were more regular it would be an option but they can’t afford to run them every hour and I won’t let my 11 year old stand around for 2 hours waiting for a bus after school.
Theres also no point using them on the weekends either as once you add it all up it costs way more than fuel and parking, I only ever use a bus if I need to pop into the main town by myself on a weekday as that way it works out cheaper but it’s a rush to get back home in time for the school run!
People are desperate for a decent bus service but for rural villages it’s just not possible and therefore they are either only passing through twice a day or cutting the routes completely.

Why is she bothered what you’re doing? Sounds like she might be a little jealous of you

I take the bus to work as it is 1/3 cost compared to parking (let alone the petrol) and that's for what is around a 5 mile commute to the main centre. The bus stop is only a few minutes walk from my house.

Once the weather is a bit better (along with my fitness!) I aim to cycle. Does that make me even poorer?

This is one of those times when you need to do a Mumsnet staple of head to one side, wide innocent eyes and say "what an odd thing to say!" And then walk off like she's an absolute crazy person for thinking like that.

Well exactly

Is she joking? Poor people can’t afford the bus, have you seen the prices!!

Nice disregard for disabled people who have no choice but to drive! Thanks for calling us selfish. I couldn't walk to the bus stop if I tried, even on my best days