Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask if you can just go to church?

116 replies

HighWindows1 · 23/01/2023 15:32

This might seem like a ridiculous question. But can you just attend a typical Sunday church service? Would it be unusual? Is there anything I should know in advance? If it was a Cathedral can I just listen to the service and then sneak out? I'm just curious. I'd like to go but have no idea how.

Has anyone converted to a religion - how did that happen (if you are happy to share of course, and thank you if you do)

OP posts:
StephanieSuperpowers · 23/01/2023 15:33

Of course you can. They don't give you a barcode when you get baptised.

TheOtherHotstepper · 23/01/2023 15:33

If you feel you want to go, just go. If you want to leave quietly at any time, just do so. You'll be fine.

Johnnysgirl · 23/01/2023 15:33

Of course you can. There's no question of "sneaking" anywhere, church services are open to everyone.

notyourmummy · 23/01/2023 15:34

Yes, you can just walk into any service in any church or cathedral and listen or join in as you wish. You'll probably find that someone will greet you if you're a new face or if it's a generally touristy place of worship, but they should then just leave you alone to sit and listen or participate as you want to.x

alpaca44 · 23/01/2023 15:34

Yes just turn up! You can always sit near the back and observe if that helps.

GoldenGorilla · 23/01/2023 15:34

Yes you can just turn up and walk in.

Go in quietly, choose a seat and sit down. Try to follow the rest of the congregation if they’re standing up, but don’t worry if you get it wrong.

depending on how busy that church is, the vicar/priest may notice you’re new and approach you for a brief chat after the service just to welcome you in.

If you want to say which denomination you’re thinking of visiting I’m sure people can give more advice about what to expect

RampantIvy · 23/01/2023 15:35

Yes you can. This is how we started going. We were made to feel very welcome. I no longer go to church, but I am still friends with people I made from the first church we went to over 20 years ago.

FortheBeautyoftheEarth · 23/01/2023 15:35

Yes you can definitely just go, in fact in some churches, attendance is so low they'll be falling over themselves to welcome you ! Maybe not in a cathedral because it's bigger, but yes definitely what previous poster said, you can come and go with anonymity in a cathedral.

whattodo1975 · 23/01/2023 15:36

You can go to any service yes. It will be cold and boring, but you can go.

Iwouldlikesomecake · 23/01/2023 15:36

Yes you definitely can x

just go along, often there will be someone who will make sure you have an order of service and a hymn book if they still use them but a lot of places now just use projectors and project the words to hymns and songs on a screen. You can happily sit at the back and just listen, you don’t have to sing.

If you go to a big church or cathedral it’s a bit more anonymous. Often Methodist churches will have tea after the service and people tend to be friendly :) but you don’t have to do any of that (I’m aware other denominations also do this but I was brought up Methodist so always got a tea on the go!). Just so you know you can be as unobtrusive as you like but people will welcome you if that’s what you want.

Musicaltheatremum · 23/01/2023 15:38

StephanieSuperpowers · 23/01/2023 15:33

Of course you can. They don't give you a barcode when you get baptised.

🤣🤣🤣🤣

Blackcountryexile · 23/01/2023 15:44

Yes anyone can attend a service . I have been to services at several different cathedrals. They tend to attract visitors so you won't stand out. You will probably be greeted and given a service sheet but you can leave quietly at any point although I think it's politer to do so during a hymn rather than a prayer.

limitedperiodonly · 23/01/2023 15:48

Yes. You'll be welcomed. The nearest church for my denomination (Catholic) is a cathedral. I'm not a regular or even a believer but I go from time to time to light candles and sometimes listen to bits of services. I've taken communion because it was happening at the time - there wasn't a test! I like it.

I didn't realise but I could have got married there. I didn't think about it because it seemed so grand. But it is my parish church - just a really big one. We married in a register office instead. I don't regret it. I am a show-off but our wedding party was under 50 people and this place must be able to hold 500+. We'd have been swamped.

Original poster
HighWindows1 · 23/01/2023 15:48

Thank you for your replies, I roughly assumed this was the case I just find it a bit daunting to just actually go, as though I'm gatecrashing or something. The churches here are quite small - I suppose I'm more worried about offending someone if I appear one week and then never return! I would like to attend something more regularly. Thanks again

OP posts:
SleeplessInEngland · 23/01/2023 15:50

Given current attendance figures they'll take anyone they can get, I promise.

notyourmummy · 23/01/2023 15:53

Perhaps you could post on a local Facebook page or something or even contact the church to see if there's anyone you could go with? When I was looking for a new church I put a post on a Facebook group related to the denomination I was looking for - my now parish priest replied and that was that!

limitedperiodonly · 23/01/2023 15:55

I seriously underestimated the number of people they can get in there. It's 1000 or more.

escapingthecity · 23/01/2023 15:57

We've just moved so we're sort of church shopping. We've been to three different ones so far - looked up service times on the internet and turned up. There have been very friendly people at all 3 and we've been totally up front that we've moved and we're looking for a church that suits us, and they're totally fine with that.
Do you know what kind of church you like? Traditional type of service/more free flow? Organs and hymns/guitars and worship songs? Yes to women priests or gay relationships/No to those? Don't take any one church as indicative of all churches as they can be very very varied!

squashyhat · 23/01/2023 16:00

Of course you can. Just be aware that some (Anglican) services invite more 'audience participation' than others. If there are call and response elements the congregation responses are usually printed in bold on the service sheet. If people start shaking hands (or 'offering each other the sign of the peace') just do the same with those around you. If it's a communion service and you are not confirmed you can still go up to the altar when others around you receive communion to receive a blessing (just keep your hands folded) or stay where you are and listen to the music.

inloveandmarried · 23/01/2023 16:00

There will be a list of services on the church door or in the local magazine.

You turn up about 5-10 mins before the service.

There is normally someone to welcome you at the door who'll hand you the order of service. This is a sheet with the order the service will be conducted in.

The hymns are on a board to the side of the vicar but he'll announce them before each hymn.

And the end the vicar will stand by the door and say goodbye to parishioners as you leave.

Original poster
HighWindows1 · 23/01/2023 16:02

Yes I watched a local Baptists group on YouTube and a Catholic service - very different! I think I'm looking for something very traditional

OP posts:
RampantIvy · 23/01/2023 16:02

Often Methodist churches will have tea after the service

C of E churches do this as well.

UsingChangeofName · 23/01/2023 16:09

Of course you can. Smile

As everyone has said, you will be most welcome wherever you choose to go, and, as has already been said it is most likely people will chat to you and it is very normal for people to visit and for people to be trying out several different Churches until they find one they are 'at home' with. No-one will be sending the boys round if you go once and never return.

TheShellBeach · 23/01/2023 16:12

RampantIvy · 23/01/2023 16:02

Often Methodist churches will have tea after the service

C of E churches do this as well.

Our Baptist church has tea and loads of food afterwards.

gogohmm · 23/01/2023 16:15

Of course you can! Church of England churches are what I know about and everyone is welcome, of all faiths and none.

Larger churches like cathedral's, minsters etc are easier to sneak into quietly at the back. I love evensong myself, beautiful music and they will be used to visitors so won't be surprised at an unfamiliar face

Swipe left for the next trending thread