Would this make you uncomfortable?

[Izearle]

I live with DH and our four teenagers. DS16 has been seeing a girl for around 9 months who regularly sleeps at our house, and him at hers (they’re together 6-7 nights a week so it’s pretty intense).

However, DS16 and his girlfriend have taken to visiting the bathroom together on a daily basis. One of them needs a pee? The other goes in too. Shower? Yep, the other one has to join.

AIBU to think this is totally inappropriate in a shared family home with six people, in a shared family bathroom? (DH doesn’t think so but it’s making at least two of us uncomfortable)

They even went to the disabled toilet together in a restaurant last week because DS apparently had to help her do her bodysuit back up…

(My family is very private/guarded whereas DHs are very open and free so I’m genuinely interested to hear what is normal!!)

Are your other teenage children older or younger? If younger, it can’t be great for them.
I wouldn’t be happy about it. It all sounds too much, too young.

My first boyfriend (aged 16) would effectively take me to the toilet. When I challenged him, he would cry and tell me he was only looking after me or that he didn't want to be away from me. He caused such a fuss and me made feel guilty that I gave in and, to my shame I started asking him when I could go to the toilet. I didn't even realise it was
In hindsight he was controlling and emotionally manipulative in so many different ways. Thankfully we split up after a few years.

I didn't even realise how unhealthy that relationship was. I think, first relationships can be intense. And that's normal but who is deciding to go to the toilet together?

Sorry about the formatting. 😳

The others are 19, 17 & 16(twin) so all older (although one by only five minutes) And no I’m not a troll, he really is a twin

@AmIreallyBeverly I think you broke my thread 😆but neither of them is controlling. DS doesn’t accept any kind of behaviour like that and he’s soft as a brush!

I remember doing this with my boyfriend when we were 16. It’s not that we planned it or such, but he would have a bath and I’d sit and chat or he would be going to brush teeth etc and I’d ask if it was ok to jump in the shower. To be honest, the only reason I used to do this is because I felt very uncomfortable being left in his room, in his house on my own. I’d worry somebody would walk in and I was only comfortable when in boyfriends presence. We never did this when I was at my house.

It's the 6/7 evenings together that is the unhealthy aspect for me. They are 16 and spending far too much time together. Why are their college courses so lacking in class contact time, that seems ridiculous as well.

Almost every evening is the issue for me. Not having time for others in their lives is really unhealthy.

It is great having a significant other but at any age it can all come crashing down because of relationship breakdown or death. If you make your life about one person only it’s a mistake always.

Bathroom sharing doesn’t especially bother me.

It’s your house. You make the rules. You and your spouse need to agree, put your foot down, and tell them only two nights a week of sleepovers are acceptable. This much closeness is inappropriate.

I read posts like this and it seems as though the world has gone mad.

This. They’re spending far too much time together. Surely they’re not spending school nights together too? What about their GCSEs?

This is completely weird and far too intense for their age. My ds is 17 and I can’t imagine this scenario at all.

You seem very passive about it all OP.

Why have you allowed it so far?

Way too much, way too young.

I am embarrassed to admit that this post has run through my mind a few times today.

OP - do you consider yourself your child’s friend? I don’t ask that with judgment (really)if that is how you feel but that is the only parenting style I can imagine would think that this situation with your son and his girlfriend is acceptable.

Yep.