I can't stop crying

[solownowheretogo]

I am sorry for posting here but I have no RL support. I am really, really low. I can't see a way out. I don't want to do this anymore. I feel I have no purpose to My life anymore I've failed at everything. I'm a rubbish mum. I don't know what to do. Please can someone talk to me .

Please call your GP for help

It's OK to cry, crying shows us something is wrong.
Do you want to talk a bit more about what's happening with you?

Call your GP now and tell them you need an emergency appointment for your mental health.

Hey lovely there's lots of people on here always willing to listen. Do you want to tell us what's up and let us try to talk it through with you x

Please contact the Samaritans - they will be able to help - www.samaritans.org/how-we-can-help/contact-samaritan/

I’m so sorry you feel like this, you deserve to live. Contacting your GP will help too x

My mood has hit rock bottom. My partner works away and is non contactable a lot of the time (think military type job). I can't work at the moment as I'm not mentally fit to do my job - I'm taking some time off but I feel like I've failed. I'm short tempered with my DC because I'm fucking exhausted juggling everything by myself. Youngest DC doesn't sleep through the night. I tell myself I'm a shit mother because I'm short tempered and tearful a lot of the time. Every time I turn to family for support I'm mostly ignored or dismissed. I have very few friends and none of them know how bad I feel. On paper I have a good life. In reality I want to end my life.

I have a good job, I earn well, so does partner. I've worked hard for my career, it made me very proud once upon a time. We have 2 healthy gorgeous children. I should be happy, right? But I'm not. I hate it. I've never felt so isolated and like a total failure in my life.

Taking time off isn't a failure, it's actually the opposite as you're taking action that's needed to still be around for your children rather than ending your life. Please don't see this is failure, your career will absolutely still be there when you're ready to go back to it. How old are the kids? Please speak to your GP, you have to understand that YOU ARE ABSOLUTELY NOT A FAILURE YOU'RE A WARRIOR for addressing it and speaking out, and taking steps to look after your mental health like taking time off x

Feeling terrible when you "should" be happy is a very lonely and isolating place to be. I do think the first thing you should do is contact your gp for urgent mh support. That's not a sign of failure or a cause for shame any more than needing a physio because you've hurt your back. Also, how old is your youngest? Any chance this is pnd?

I was also thinking PND x

Sounds very tough OP. Sending love.

This too shall pass - you can and will get through this phase. Talk to your GP and can you afford private therapy?

I had therapy for months after youngest was born. It helped but I was discharged. Feel like I need more. Youngest is due to turn 2 next month.

Thank you @Lialou

Contact your GP

I've had low mood a stress and worry for a few year now.
Teen dc having many issues and I've finally gone on a low dose sertraline.

It has taken the edge off so I can get on and function but stops the sleepless nights and catastrophic thoughts Early days for me but I feel it's helped. I'm in a very low dose too.

However you're feeling now is not forever, this will pass. You have to remember you're absolutely not a failure. Failing is not addressing it.

I’m sorry you are feeling this way. I totally empathise as I too feel the same. My GP told my to call 111 and ask for option 2 if it gets too much. Tbh, I haven’t yet done that as I am worried where that will take me. Have you tried any antidepressants?

Is there anything you used to do that you enjoyed that you could try to pick up again? Even if it's just 1 hour a week it will be something to look forward to

It's really good that you have reached out, even on a forum. That's a positive sign that you want things to improve and get the support you need. Work and family, especially with your partner away, is relentless. I echo what others have said - you need a sympathetic GP to talk to and help you with a plan and some time off work. You are worth so much and worth investing this time in to make you happier and fill up your tank.

If the superhuman Jacinda Ardern needs to take a break, then don't we all?

OP you are ill, not a failure. You are a brilliant employee (demonstrated by the face that you have worked your way up the ladder and are in a good position) and a good person. Please talk to your work's OH team and your doctor and get the help you need to get back on track. I understand how you feel about having little family help, but remember, family is not the only source of support out there. Turn to good friends, nice colleagues, and the health service, they are all here for you. Time off work is good, but use it wisely. Make sure the kids are in daycare, giving you time to focus on getting well, rather than pestering you. Wishing you all the very best.

Have a look and see if any of these resources might help:

www.mumsnet.com/i/mental-health-webguide

You're doing the right thing by talking about it. I wish you well 💐

Have you considered that you have depression?

It is hard having young children with no help and can be very isolating which can compound the misery!!

Have you considered going to a toddler group? You might meet other mothers there in similar situations?

If I was you I’d get my coat on and take the toddler out for a stroll in the pram.

Going out will disrupt your thoughts even for an hour.

You are not a failure, you can get through this

Hello OP, we are really sorry to read you are feeling this way.

We hope you don't mind, but when these threads are flagged up to us we usually add a link to our Mental Health Resources. You can also go to the Samaritans website, or email them on [email protected].

We see that you are getting some wonderful support from your fellow Mumsnetters - support from other Mumsnetters is great and we really hope you will be able to take some comfort from your fellow posters. But as other MNers will tell you, it's really a good idea to seek RL help and support as well.

We also like to remind everyone that, although we're awed daily by the astonishing support our members give each other through life's trickier twists and turns, we'd always caution anyone never to give more of themselves to another poster, emotionally or financially, than they can afford to spare.

We wish you the very best 💐
MNHQ

You care about the perceived impact on your dc so it means you’re not a shit mum. Go to doctor or write down how you feel and show them to get help. Nothing wrong in asking for help.

Yes I used to love running. I haven't done it for ages so I'd struggle I think. I could give it a try. It used to make me feel alive.

Thank you for all your kind responses. It means a lot. It might not seem much but it's honestly helping me a lot right now. Thank you