Is this something worth bringing up with the parent?

[marcie15]

So basically my ds (10) has a friend at school, and he recently came home and told me that this boy has excluded him from being in a room share with him on a school trip because 'he didnt think he would be going as he couldnt afford it'
This boys mother has recently taken my ds on a trip to chessington and when she came to pick him up she said ' has he been before?' I said yes he has been lots of times but not recently to which she replied ' well im happy to be able to give him the opportunity to go'
Just to clarify we are a low income family but not to the point where my children go without.They definitely have treats and never miss school trips etc
This boy said this to my ds in front of their whole friend group and he is quite embarrassed and upset.
Should i bring it up with the parent as i feel like this is something he has heard being spoken about by his parents. My ds would never even think to bring up a family's income situation as this is not something deemed as important especially not in his age group.
I am quite angry but dont want to make things worse for my ds

Ignore, and don’t feed the loser.

I’ve reported for not being in the spirit of the site.

No. It absolutely doesn’t. It sounds like you’re a nasty person though.

Well this is thing he was going there,and her son to mine, regularly until recently. Im not sure what happened other than she realised we were not in the same wage bracket as her? Maybe im being unfair its not her im concerned abouts necessarily its the actions and words of her son towards mine i suppose

@PatrickBasedman Christ, who pissed in your cornflakes this morning? Go and be an arsehole somewhere else

@marcie15 Wondering if you’ve misunderstood the comment? I read this as saying you should encourage friendships with children other than the boy you’ve mentioned, not that you should be encouraging your ds to be friends with him (Sorry if I’m wrong).

This 👍🏻

@Wherehasthecommonsensegone yes sorry i did read it wrong apologies 😣 i will definitely be encouraging new friendship with other children. No one deserves to be made to feel 'less
Than' especially not children.

Sounds like you're a fruit loop but lots of things "sound" like stuff

All good, no worries. @Wherehasthecommonsensegone had interpreted it correctly!

I'm not sure... I think both of the parent's comments were fairly innocuous but you chose to interpret them in a negative way. On the other hand it was probably other things about her behaviour that led you to this conclusion.

I probably wouldn't raise it with her and try to encourage my child to develop other friendships if it continues.

You tell us @PatrickBasedman - that’s a pretty good seethe you’ve got going on.

@PatrickBasedman maybe because you're being an absolute snake. The comments are so unnecessary and cruel. You're literally talking about someone's 10 year old Son. OP clearly already feels shit due to the situation so why pile on? Maybe get off of the internet for a while, do some yoga or something else soul soothing

Having an opinion and being a wanker aren't the same thing sweetie.

To be fair, her son doesn't sound unkind or a snob does he? He is desperate for a play date with your son and chose to take him on a family trip to Chessingron.

I think the mother's comment about the play date was more about being put on the spot. If she didn't like their friendship, she wouldn't have taken DS to Chessington.

I also think you are reading too much into her comment about giving ds the opportunity to go to Chessington again. You'd already told her he'd been lots of times, so she knew she wasn't being Lady Bountiful.

I really don't think you can say anything about this without looking ridiculous and chippy. The only complaint with merit is her son choosing to go in a room with different children on the residential trip.

Whether it is something he's heard at home, or whether it's his own interpretation that your ds wouldn't be able to go on the trip is impossible to know, but obviously an unkind thing to say. But what is to be gained by telling his mum? Either he'll deny it and she won't believe you, or she'll get defensive.

I'd definitely say something to her. Her child needs to know he can't go round saying things like that about people.

Let it go. You're not going to be able to change their mind about you and your family, and it certainly isn't going to fix the situation with your son. If anything it'd make it worse for him as he'll be teased about needing his mum to come and fight his battles for him.

Agree with @theGooHasGone.

Will your DS be going away on the trip OP? Yes kids emulate their parents but you don’t have to set that family right, they’ll see for themselves when DS shows up for the trip. What if his friend come to yours for a playdate? It could challenge whatever assumptions you think they are making, and he can see for himself that your DS is doing just fine thank you.

@PatrickBasedman bored are you and couldn't think of your own post?

Who knows what's going on for the mother, just explain to your son that some people are competitive and look down on others and their attitudes reveal more about them then anyone else.

I think you're being too paranoid and insecure. If the other mother didn't want the boys to mix, why would she have taken them both on a trip recently?

The playdate thing means nothing, unless you know for a fact that she lets other kids come play.

As for the comment her son made, was it said nastily? That would seem strange from a boy who clearly thinks of your son as a friend. Another possibility is that the boy had been discussing the school trip with mum who then reminded him that it is not definite that your son is going because of finances.

I do think children are very perceptive about money , haves and have nots . They are aware of more than we give them credit for imo .I was always feeling bad at primary school because I didn't have new shoes or clothes all the time and my dad drove an old car , a couple of friends would comment on why my house was so small , we didnt have a video recorder , is it because you're poor ?
It'll get worse as the child gets to secondary school.

Was the boy's comment said in an unkind way?

Because I teach children of a similar age and can imagine several of them saying something like 'I didn't think you'd be going because it's expensive' without meaning to be unkind, just factual.

I think both of the parent's comments were fairly innocuous but you chose to interpret them in a negative way.

^^this your reading a lot into very little IMO. I would definitely not say anything. Leave it to your son but keep lines off communication open.

You mention in a later post that they have had play dates previously. Sounds to me like something went wrong at one of them and she is now trying to discourage the friendship.
10 year old boys can get a bit silly and boisterous, perhaps something got broken and she us annoyed?
Im not sure why your son was upset, surely he just said I am going on the trip?