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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think a nearly 7 year old knows you should never hold someone's head under water?

42 replies

yellowtwo · 19/01/2023 18:43

My LO is doing swimming lessons, another child held her head under the water, the child said after that she was just playing. AIBU to think a nearly 7 year old knows it is never OK to hold someone's head under water? This child has already been to swimming lessons and can swim.

OP posts:
StrawberryAnnie · 19/01/2023 18:47

A nearly 7 year old should definitely be told it’s not ok. It’s pretty shocking behaviour.

At that age they won’t fully understand the consequences of their actions. If they are comfortable in water themselves, they might think of it as horseplay or a prank.

Doveyouknow · 19/01/2023 18:51

Does your 7 year old know everything they 'should' know and always do what they should do?

Username6194 · 19/01/2023 18:55

Doveyouknow · 19/01/2023 18:51

Does your 7 year old know everything they 'should' know and always do what they should do?

Obviously they don't know everything at this age. But that's not the point. Every 7 year old should absolutely know holding someone's head underwater is extremely dangerous

Goodread1 · 19/01/2023 18:58

Hi Op

You should tell this child that it was wrong what they did, and never ever do that again ever, as its dangerous hurt child very badly,

Whoever is guardian looking after this child I would defintely have a word with them about what their child did ect.
Totally not acceptable 😒

ManchesterGirl2 · 19/01/2023 18:58

There are lots of things that kids don't realise. Perhaps I had poor common sense or poor guidance from adults, but I never realized it was dangerous to swing a small child round by their arms, or to pull a chair out from behind someone, until I was told off for it.

Me and my brother, both confident swimmers, would mess around, including dunking each other. I could see how a young child could fail to realise that this would be terrifying for a less stong swimmer.

Obviously the kid should be told seriously, and id keep a closer eye in future, but I wouldn't assume cruel intent at this stage.

RosaGallica · 19/01/2023 18:59

At the very least they should be made to understand that it is dangerous after this event.

Goodread1 · 19/01/2023 19:01

I ment to say that child should be told its extremely dangerous 😳 Never ever do that again,

Thinking about should. Definitely report to 🏊‍♂️ swimming pool lifeguards or staff there, so they have a word with child and Gaurdian too

2FelisCatus · 19/01/2023 19:08

It depends on if you mean she dunked him under and let go or if she truly held him under the water while he struggled to get to the surface. If the former then no I wouldn't expect a 6 year old to necessarily know this is dangerous and frankly in a guarded pool it's not. It's not acceptable but being dunked isn't going to kill anyone either. Yes the child needs to be told that's not on.

Original poster
yellowtwo · 19/01/2023 19:09

Goodread1
I will report to the swimming instructor, I was too shocked on the day to say anything. This child has been low level bullying my LO, leaving her put of games, saying mean things, but this is another level. So I wasn't sure if it's something kids know they shouldn't do. Mine know this, and this is they first time they've done swimming lessons.

OP posts:
Original poster
yellowtwo · 19/01/2023 19:10

2FelisCatus Had my LO in a headlock holding her under the water for a few seconds.

OP posts:
TruffleShuffles · 19/01/2023 19:11

I’d be pretty concerned that the instructor didn’t notice this themselves and deal with it there and then.

Original poster
yellowtwo · 19/01/2023 19:12

TruffleShuffles
Another parent said the same thing to me.

OP posts:
HungryandIknowit · 19/01/2023 19:13

TruffleShuffles · 19/01/2023 19:11

I’d be pretty concerned that the instructor didn’t notice this themselves and deal with it there and then.

I agree with this. I would choose different swimming lessons.

Orangebadger · 19/01/2023 19:15

A nearly 7 yr old is 6. Yes they should know that's it's not nice but they won't fully understand the consequences I imagine.

sageandrosemary · 19/01/2023 19:15

Your poor LO. Hope she's doing ok. Flowers

This happened to me at school and it was awful. Between that and almost drowning on holiday as a child in a pool, I can be quite anxious around pools even now as an adult.

Original poster
yellowtwo · 19/01/2023 19:19

sageandrosemary
Thank you.
That's my worry, my DB was pushed into a pool when he was a child and had a fear of water since. My LO is OK atm, loves the water so I'm not trying to make a big deal of it around her as I don't want to frighten her, while also telling her it should not have happened.

OP posts:
2FelisCatus · 19/01/2023 19:31

If none of the guards nor instructors saw it then I think you need a new pool. Did your child cry? Or tell the instructor at the time?

Original poster
yellowtwo · 19/01/2023 19:34

2FelisCatus

No, this girl has been nice to her the last few days so she thought she was playing with her. She would do, or believe anything this girl says when she's being nice to her.

OP posts:
Original poster
yellowtwo · 19/01/2023 19:35

Orangebadger
I know, I said nearly 7 to distinguish between a 5 year old just turned 6 and a a child who is going on 7.

OP posts:
trythisforsize · 19/01/2023 19:44

A child would only know this if they have been told. For all we know their parent/guardian never goes swimming with them and it hasn't come up during lessons.

Just assume they haven't yet been told and explain why it's dangerous.

grayhairdontcare · 19/01/2023 20:31

Your problem here is the fact that the instructor did not see this.

Abba123 · 19/01/2023 20:36

I think children at that age get stupid ideas despite what they’ve been told.

I have to remind my children of common sense survival all the time and they’re generally sensible and well behaved.

It wasn’t really dangerous either. They’re in a pool with a teacher and friends and lifeguards.

The worst thing is that your child is going to pop up coughing and spluttering, maybe crying, and you can make a valid complaint and escalate it.

TruffleShuffles · 19/01/2023 20:36

trythisforsize · 19/01/2023 19:44

A child would only know this if they have been told. For all we know their parent/guardian never goes swimming with them and it hasn't come up during lessons.

Just assume they haven't yet been told and explain why it's dangerous.

The instructor should have told them this. At my daughters swim school there is a lesson based on water safety every few weeks to cover things like this.

catsnore · 19/01/2023 21:02

Can you switch classes? I'd have a word with the swimming instructor and see what they suggest. Otherwise you'll just worry about it happening again.

Kanaloa · 19/01/2023 21:08

I don’t know. Obviously they will know theoretically that people can drown, but ‘dunking’ and stuff like that was common when I was a kid, seen as like playfulness. I think when children are swimming the adult in charge must be watching them closely to stop them doing this sort of thing. Expecting a 7 year old to ‘know’ not to do things is a losing game really. I mean we expect a 7 year old to know that cars are dangerous but I still wouldn’t leave my 7 year old to walk to school alone.