To think a nearly 7 year old knows you should never hold someone's head under water?

[yellowtwo]

My LO is doing swimming lessons, another child held her head under the water, the child said after that she was just playing. AIBU to think a nearly 7 year old knows it is never OK to hold someone's head under water? This child has already been to swimming lessons and can swim.

I would raise a formal complaint and ask for the child to be removed from the class. If they’ve been bullying you’re LO I wouldn’t hesitate. Nasty child

If staff and lifeguard didn’t notice this I wouldn’t be returning.
so dangerous I would of gone mental tbh

TruffleShuffles
I did think she would know this at least from being to swimming lessons for over a year or more it would have come up at some stage surely?

Kanaloa
It wasn't dunking, she held my DD in a headlock under the water for a few seconds.

Ember90
I'm going between thinking, she bullies my DC was she purposefully in a way trying to hurt my child? With, she's a kid and was playing and didn't know better?

I think a 7yr old would know, I’d complain and remove my child from the class, but honestly I would have lost my shit. That was a horrible thing to do, extremely dangerous and I’d be worried that no-one seemed to notice.

A friend of mine was held under water by her class teacher at the age of 7 to make her blow bubbles (swimming instructor wasn't aware the teacher was "helping") and she is now petrified of water. She can't even have a bath that's too deep. If she's watching a film and there's a scene shot underwater, she automatically jumps up so her head is above the "waterline" and she's visibly panicking. It's horrible to see her so upset. She's had hypnotherapy and counselling but is still petrified.

Children much older than 7 often do things that are potentially dangerous. That's why they need adult supervision. Most of what we tell children will happen never comes to pass - so adults need to be on hand to insist on rules and boundaries as we know what the potential is.

This child may technically 'know' that a person can drown but has seen many people go under water and not drown. They are unlikely to know how long a drowning would take and a child who swims regularly may actually feel more confident around water and going under it, than a child who has never had lessons.

Don't blame the child but take steps to make sure they don't do this again. I once had to rescue my 13 year old from their 13 year old friend who was bigger and stronger and holding them under the water. I did think a 13 yo should know better and was cross about it.

Upsidedownagain

My steps will be asking the instructor if she saw what happened, and asking her to keep the other child and my DC separated.
Swimming lessons in my area and surrounding area have a year wait list, so I either pull her out or try make it better so it can't happen again.

StaceySolomonSwash
My LO was OK because she thought this girl is being nice to her this week and was playing with her.

A 7 year old would definitely know this wasn’t a good thing to do. Obviously she wouldn’t fully understand the full consequences of her actions. Sounds like keeping them apart is a good idea.

Why on earth didn't you address it at the time? Did you really just passively watch another kid hold your child under the water without at least shouting "no! Let her go!" or similar?

I'd have been out of my seat in an instant!

The swim school I send my kids to has a robust bullying policy. I'd check to see if yours has similar. There's no point pulling your kid if they're not the one causing the issue. In the meantime I'd contact the swim school saying this, this, this happened on x, y, z dates. I expect the children to be kept completely separate going forwards and for Name's behaviour towards my child to be strictly monitored throughout.

I think most seven year olds would be sensible enough not to do this, but also they do stupid impulsive things without realising the consequences.

I would be far more concerned that this wasn't immediately spotted by the instructor!

The average age for a child to understand death and it’s permanence is between 5 and 7.
Understanding the concept of something being dangerous and life threatening and the reality that those dangers also apply to you personally is something even adults can’t always do, it’s why so many people engage in risky behaviour and think it won’t happen to them.

So I think expecting a child of not even 7 to not make mistakes and take things too far is a bit unrealistic. Of course they shouldn’t have done it, of course they need to very strongly be told not to do it again… but I wouldn’t hold it against them.

I'd speak to its parents very odd behaviour

Some seven year olds wouldn’t understand, most would and should but not all will.
My 7 y o stepson a few years ago had a terrible incident with our kitten and submerged it in water sadly he just didn’t understand and it wasn’t malicious so I do think that a very immature 7 year old might not know that pushing someone under is wrong or dangerous

If the bullying is happening in school, I'd tell this incident to the school. I'd wonder what the child is being exposed to and the behaviour is worrying from a safeguarding pov.

I have a DS who has just turned 7 and he wouldn't know this. It's hard enough reminding him that running in front of cars would harm him!
That being said though, you should tell the instructor. I'm sorry this happened to you x