Drama over birth partner

[Namechangetobeanon]

Second baby and my birth plan is to have my partner and best friend in the delivery room with me. For many reasons although particularly because my best friend and me can absolutely laugh through anything and she gets on great with my partner too. This has caused animosity with my mother. My mother seems to think that she should be in with me because she’s my mum. I didn’t have her at my first birth it was simply me and my partner. This time round I know what to expect and would love my friends support.

Myself and my mum aren’t close, we rarely see each other and she is never exactly interested in my first born. For some perspective, I haven’t seen my mum since Christmas Eve and saw her approx 5 times in 2022 only because I made the effort.

This has caused a rift and since she made the assumption that she would be in the delivery room and me telling her no, she hasn’t spoken to me or got in touch, this was Xmas Eve. What she has done however is moan to people that she is not coming in who seem to be reiterating that she IS entitled to come in (this is being filtered back to me).

AIBU to not reach out and simply allow her to continue to wallow in self pity? Why on earth should she be able to bully and coerce her way in and have other people contacting me telling me I’m selfish? Including my only other sister who hasn’t had my mother at any of her 2 children’s births and my childless brother?

YANBU - I had my dad’s new partner (of 2.5 years) at the birth of my third child along with DH. Much closer to her.

My mum was with us for the first two but she since cheated on my dad, f**d off and doesn’t bother much with any of us.

Have who you feel comfortable with 😊 x

I agree. Although to be fair, if the forceps come out or OP has an emergency C Section, only her DH will be allowed into the operating room. I had my DH & bestie as my birth partners and ended up with forceps and even my DH had to wait until I’d had the spinal block and was brought into the theatre right before baby came out. Bestie had to wait in the next room

As I’ve just said OP, unfortunately if the forceps are needed or an emergency C section (god for I’d of course) then your best friend will not be allowed there. Only your DH and even then, he’ll only be brought in once your baby is just about to come out.
Fingers crossed that won’t be the case and your labour is smooth & uneventful though

*forbid

Is that true everywhere, though? DP had an emergency section and I was in the room the whole time - the only time we were separate was the minute and a half it took for someone to shove me into scrubs. Granted, half the team had no idea who I was but I know other more regular-looking male birth partners who were there for the full thing.