To request WFH after Mat Leave ends

[Workdilemmahelp]

Hello, just want some thoughts & advice:

Before mat leave I was working in the office 5 days a week, in my final month of pregnancy I worked from home full time (was advised by HR due to working in healthcare/covid risk)

I am due to return to work in a few months and previously emailed in to see if I could WFH 3x a week, and office x2 due to nursery costs - I can only really afford to send DS twice a week. My mum is able to help look after DS on days I WFH, but cannot help full time as she also works mornings and late afternoons.

HR have said it is not fair on other staff and to work effectively I would need to be in the office more days than I WFH.

AIBU? What can I do?

YABU.

WFH isn't a substitute for childcare. Yes, it can provide more flexibility to do things like drop-offs and pick-ups, especially if your employer allows flexible working. However, it's not something that can be used to simply make your life easier/cheaper re childcare.

Is everyone else expected to work from the office 5 days a week? If that is the case, then you're taking the piss because your colleagues will absolutely find it unfair that you've been granted Wfh when they haven't been. No doubt many will have circumstances that would better suit WFH as well.

If you absolutely cannot attend an office 5 days per week as expected, it may be time to look for another job, change or compress your hours, etc.

Amazing?

It depends on your idea of childcare, does that include going out with your child, teaching them etc? Or just scraping by and using screens, food etc as a stand in babysitter?

Might all seem fabulous now, maybe not so when developmental targets are meant?

^met

Probably because your employer has correctly guessed that you want to work from home to take the piss. If you need revised hours or part time then apply for those instead.

Yes, a lot of people I work with are doing the same. It drives me nuts, sorry. Childcare being expensive isn’t a new thing that’s only difficult for today’s parents, and it isn’t a justification for getting your employer to pay you to look after your own kids.

You’ll need to ask your employer hat.

not granting the request because of fairness to other staff is a stupid reason, and in fact not a valid reason to decline flexible working. But if you haven’t set out your proposal to make up your hours properly then I suggest you appeal the decision and do so.

I work 4 days a week (tuesday off and Thursday is a slightly shorter day)

One day a week (usually a Monday) a friend comes over with her dd and so ds gets to play for a couple of hours with her and my friend actually doesn’t mind watching them as I’m in the next room door open and we can chat too as the little ones are playing /running about or she sits in the garden with them . I’ve helped her out in the past so this is why she doesn’t mind.

Tuesdays we go to a music group and the out to the park/farm/shops etc and he has my undivided attention .

I home educate my older dc so if I’m out dh is with them or they have tutor sessions etc. dh is self employed so can be there when we needed it’s easy for him to help out and we can plan things ahead

At weekends we are out and about

I can often do work in the evenings when dc asleep and then I’m ready and ahead of things the next day

What are you going to do if your manager refuses your request?

As you're coming back from May leave they might be a little suspicious at your sudden request to wfh , particularly as you've admitted that you've deliberately slackened at work and provide a minimum of effort to just get by.

They may well be wanting to keep an eye on your productivity/effectiveness.

Sorry...mat leave.

She’s not, because she isn’t. She’s doing childcare and the odd bit of work and everyone else is picking up the slack. It’s rife where I am and they all swear their output is brilliant and bosses all happy - it’s delusion and they’re going to be performance managed out if they don’t wise up.

It’s as much a nonsense as the fact that she went from “I can’t tell my boss, I feel dreadful” to “everyone is happy with me and I’m proud of myself” is less than 2 pages.

Well then reduce your hours.
It's not fair on other staff, but more importantly it's not fair in your baby. You're paid to do a job, not look after your baby ffs. It's people like you who give other working mums a bad name ☹️

@MintCho so you also home school your older kids whilst at "work"

And your friend visits and you leave the door open so you can "chat"

All on your employer's clock and dime??

Where is your fucking shame? People like you are the reason my husband's work view WFH mothers as "not as committed" which therefore impacts the gender pay gap.

YOU are harming fellow women/mothers with your shockingly entitled attitude

Thankyou !

We are just trying to get by. Our circumstances are complicated and we both want to be working to pay our bills and this is the temporary solution . I know it’s not the norm but we are just doing what we can do survive financially

@MintCho you home Ed as well? Amazing!

@MintCho Why can’t you tell your employer you’re doing it then, if it works so brilliantly?

@MintCho what made you have another child that you couldn't afford?

If you haven’t set out your proposal to make up your hours properly then I suggest you appeal the decision and do so

I suspect it may be a bit late, if the employer's identified this for what it is - and their refusal suggests they've done exactly that

As you suggest, the time to make the case, including how it could suit the business, is when the application's first made; leaving it until they've said no and then trying "Yes but ..." or even worse "S'not faaaiiirrr" really doesn't cut it

Not primary age so it’s not actually that difficult now. They are both very well motivated and work independently and for HE groups and tutoring dh can drop off/pick up so it’s not a huge impact on me anymore

Ds wasn’t planned I was actually done . Found out later than usual as thought it was peri so I was into my second trimester and we decided to go ahead and that’s when I decided to just wind down the amount of work

I realise that things were total unrelenting shit for parents in the lockdowns but so many of them have now become so entitled. Childcare isn’t “use what you can afford and employer pays you to do the rest”. It’s “use what you can afford and then reduce your hours accordingly/do split shifts with partner/use friends, family”. Like every single person prior to March 2020 had to do.

WFH has been the single biggest game changer for me as a disabled person who works her arse off, and I’ll be so angry when these pisstakers get it taken away from me.

(My other concern is that if it’s so easy for you all to do it, why wouldn’t the government look at reducing maternity leave entitlement? Wouldn’t affect me at all but if I were wanting kids, it’d scare me.)

So you home educate and have play dates and friends round all while working?

Oh my days.

I work part time so it works out. Im always busy but what’s the alternative we are just trying to make ends meet

I’m starting to think there was no winding down - she’s been home educating young kids for years whilst “working”, by the sounds of it. The standard has probably been mediocre for years but the employer doesn’t know any different.

Another parent who wants to use WFH as childcare.