To request WFH after Mat Leave ends

[Workdilemmahelp]

Hello, just want some thoughts & advice:

Before mat leave I was working in the office 5 days a week, in my final month of pregnancy I worked from home full time (was advised by HR due to working in healthcare/covid risk)

I am due to return to work in a few months and previously emailed in to see if I could WFH 3x a week, and office x2 due to nursery costs - I can only really afford to send DS twice a week. My mum is able to help look after DS on days I WFH, but cannot help full time as she also works mornings and late afternoons.

HR have said it is not fair on other staff and to work effectively I would need to be in the office more days than I WFH.

AIBU? What can I do?

You’re entitled to your opinion. We are all doing just fine nobody is neglected everyone is happy . I don’t want to derail OP’s thread so I’ll leave it there

If the company doesn't let anyone WFH including the colleague who does 930-230 and makes up hours then I agree it wounding be fair to allow you either. If that's the policy then that's just life I'm afraid

@Workdilemmahelp

I think this completely depends on your field and type of work! I have a fairly flexible project-orientated job - (its flexibility means its a very competitive field and it takes a long time developing specialist skills to get a position). People generally work hours which suit them as long as they get the work done, attend meetings and reply to emails promptly. So I know people who work school hours and then evenings for example. So in that context, as long as you had child care for part of the working day at home and were also working in the evenings, the request might be considered.

At my employers, parents permitted WFH are required to provide documentation such as payment records that another adult is present in the home minding the child during all work hours, or that the child is out at a nursery or minder's.

Staying home to do intermittent work between bouts of childcare is not at all permitted.

I can only really afford to send DS twice a week. My mum is able to help look after DS on days I WFH, but cannot help full time as she also works mornings and late afternoons.

You can't work from home as a way to look after your DC! It looks as though you haven't got proper childcare.

What about looking at compressed hours? So you do 5 days' work over 4 longer days? How can your DC's father also take 50% of the load & responsibility?

Another possibility, could the baby’s father change his hours so he can look after the baby before or after your mum does so you could get into the office for a full day?

And finally - I know it’s tough, but if you can manage it for a few years you’ll maintain your career trajectory (assuming it’s a job with prospects) so it may be worth going into a bit of debt to cover extra time in the nursery for the first few years. Especially if work would let you WFH 2 days a week (as their response implies) so you only need to find one more day of nursery fees.

It’s a real shame I don’t know your employer. Don’t think they’d be happy!

I would be wary of thinking you can get any work done whilst you are looking after your child. We were left with no choice on some days during covid and even with two of us at home it was really difficult.

Also it's crap for the child.

I agree you're deluded and scamming your employer.

I would go so far to say it's theft. If you worked for me you'd be sacked by now.

You can't wfh with a baby I can understand why they said no

@MintCho so you're not going to answer how your child interacts with others during the working week?

Because you have already said that you do the bare minimum and expect other people to pick up the slack for you. Your employers have so far not noticed, but they will. I hope you set yourself higher standards when it comes to other areas of your life because you don’t seem to have very much self esteem and pride when it comes to your work.

You cannot wfh and look after a baby. Very simple.

Employers reading posts like @MintCho's will be (rightly) very anti WFH. This poster is a reason why WFH will always be looked on as skiving.

No idea why but I got an image of The Brittas Empire - where they keep the baby in a filing cabinet drawer.

I agree with the 96% (currently, on the voting).

Of course you can't get paid for being at home looking after your baby.
Why on earth would you think that were a thing ?

Can you explain why you think your employer should pay you a full day's pay for you to try and get 4 hours work done whilst your Mum and baby are there ?

Sometimes we have to do these things to survive

Many employers are currently saying the same, and unfortunately that includes those who try wherever possible not to employ women of childbearing age

And then some wonder why ...

Yeah, right.

If you don’t have contracted times then ask and I’m sure it will be fine.

It’s only when you do set hours eg 9-5 that it’s an issue as you obviously can’t work and look after the baby at the same time

I do feel sorry for your mum doing so much childcare though.

What was the initial plan when you got pregnant?
Were you planning to not go to work/ work PT or put the baby in FT nursery?

If you are told no then what will you do?

I used to think I could easily work from home with a baby, had an easy baby and maybe the first couple of months I could have but from 7+ months it would have been impossible. Had a few days forced wfh due to weather or illness and it's almost impossible to do. My dd gets obsessed with the laptop and wants to grab at keys constantly. I ended up having to do the work later on when she was in bed and it wouldn't have been feasible

Unfortunately childcare is needed or reduced hours. Baby's dad should be contributing and if he's not then I'd imagine you are entitled to help with childcare costs through benefits?

@MintCho I think you are amazing. As hard as working / paying for childcare is, working AND doing the childcare is another level. I can't imagine many people managing this unless they had very little choice.

Have you asked if you could do longer days when you’re in the office? Maybe you could work a 4 day week then to reduce your childcare costs, plus wfh one day a week?
impossible to look after a baby and work though. No matter how easy your baby is.

Where is baby’s Dad? If you both work full time then you both need to work this out between you.

WFH with a baby during Covid, when very necessary, almost killed me. You’re deluded to think you could do that on a permanent basis.

Also, did you not know about the cost of childcare before you had the baby?

I’m guessing because the majority of the day, the child is in school and so the hours to be made up are few - 2 in the evening if a standard 7.5 hour day.

You want to work 3.5 hours but in the same house as the baby - realistically you’re going to be wandering away to look at/interact with baby, because you’re a mum of a young baby and that’s what they do. So let’s say 2.5-3 hours actual work. You’d have to make up around 5 hours in the evening, which is a lot less likely to happen, and your employer will know this.

That’s why.