To request WFH after Mat Leave ends

[Workdilemmahelp]

Hello, just want some thoughts & advice:

Before mat leave I was working in the office 5 days a week, in my final month of pregnancy I worked from home full time (was advised by HR due to working in healthcare/covid risk)

I am due to return to work in a few months and previously emailed in to see if I could WFH 3x a week, and office x2 due to nursery costs - I can only really afford to send DS twice a week. My mum is able to help look after DS on days I WFH, but cannot help full time as she also works mornings and late afternoons.

HR have said it is not fair on other staff and to work effectively I would need to be in the office more days than I WFH.

AIBU? What can I do?

@Workdilemmahelp Can you clarify some of the things PP have asked you?

I feel that most of this thread has been derailed by MintCho.

How many hours during the evening do you think you'd be able to work effectively? Every evening? Does your baby sleep through the night yet or would you be getting more and more tired, trying to catch up?

Have you looked into childminders? They're less expensive than nurseries.

Your poor children.

Have they rejected your request in the right way?

if this was a statutory request they need to detail their reasoning and back up their refusal points.

I had three children. I couldnt have worked properly at home with any of them! you cant take calls without the child interrupting and how are you caring properly for your baby when you are trying to put in 8 hours work? You should maybe have thought this out before deciding to have a baby. I cant think of any company that is going to happily let you work full time at home when you have the child with you at home, well not unless they are 12 and can look after themselves.

Easiest thing in the world for an employer to decline a flex working request due to “needs of the business”.

My workplace had a very similar request come through - actually it was even more of a piss take than yours.

It was rejected, appealed and rejected again.

But the rest of us have to suck it up and either reduce our hours or find the money for childcare, not take the piss out of our employer.

Exactly. All her colleagues will know her as the piss taker. It’s just embarrassing.

I have up until the start of January WFH full time whilst having my now 3 year old.
My job however is flexible - you have to meet your targets but as long as you do that you can work any hours you wish.
We don't have meetings or anything so no worries about zoom calls etc. my manager is aware that I had DC at home with me and has said as long as I meet my targets she's happy to continue the arrangement and it's clear I'm not the only one to do it!
DS is happy and healthy, met his milestones and has settled really well into nursery (going now to prepare for school), he has a couple of hours a day where I work but he gets to choose an activity to do or if it's ever desperate he watches a film.
We still go out for our lunchtime walk, we do activities together and he is a happy little chap.
The only time he's a nightmare is during the night!

It does and can work but our situation is unique

Is your question about working full time hours and only having your baby in part time childcare? Yabu to think this is possible.

Childcare is not particularly expensive when you break down what the child carers do. They are not paid a fortune and they work while the parent commutes on top. It's a bit nuts to think people have a baby without thinking about how they will cover the costs of looking after this baby in advance.

As a disabled person and parent I find your post re PCs offensive I chose to have my children, I did not choose to have a disability! Parenthood is a choice PCs aren't, that's partly why they are PCs!

Then I apologise sincerely if I've put it clumsily, @PipinwasAuntieMabelsdog, because your very point is exactly what I meant to convey

I genuinely thought I'd done that in writing that disability's a PC and parenthood isn't, but if I made a hash of it (not unknown!!) then I really am very sorry

Not all children are planned!

Not the employer's problem.

@ReneBumsWombats didn't say it was. I responded to the quoted post saying you should have a plan in place before you decide to have a child.
Not everyone decides

These replies are a mess, many people WFH and look after their kids, get a grip

Yes, but not effectively

Of course effectively.

This topic always brings out the very rigid of thinking on this site.

@Pizzamyamour or the realists on this site, as the voting has pointed out.

Oh I see, I thought that was OP. The rest still stands, your colleagues will know. We had someone who was clearly doing childcare after lockdown, we were all still mostly wfh but it was obvious that she was looking after her 2 year old. In meetings her camera would be off, microphone on mute, when asked a question you'd have to repeat it, things weren't getting done on time etc. She got away with it for a while because the boss felt sorry for her. We all knew what was happening and it built up huge resentment. She's not there anymore. Not only that it ruined her reputation as everyone now remembers her for that, we work in a small industry so she's done herself no favours

Nah, one look at the avg demographics on here makes the vote almost meaningless.

Which explains why customer service at so many companies is almost non existent.

Oh give over. Childcare is ridiculously expensive and full time care essentially costs the same as one persons wage. The pennies you get from mat pay are only there for 9 month then cut off and so forcing parents back into work and the stage between 1-3 before any funding comes in is the hardest.

If we all saved enough to cover childcare before having kids there'd never be any of the future.

I’m a manager.

It’s a hard no from me.

I absolutely refuse to allow people to plan WFH whilst caring for any dependent… Be that child of primary school age or younger, or any individual older than that who requires care.

You can neither care or work effectively in this situation.

Emergencies are excepted.

If you want to do this, you need to become self-employed.

I wfh but I have proper childcare not in my home in place.

Alright daily mail Mary