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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Am I being paranoid or is she trying to make me look shit?

70 replies

EmpressOfTheSofa · 18/01/2023 15:38

I’m the manager of a store, very small company (three stores). I’ve only been with the company for a few months.

The assistant manager has been there longer than me (and I know went for my job). She’s a bit of a pain in my arse, tries to tell me what to do all the time, questions everything I ever say and can be weirdly aggressive in her manner towards me. I have already had to have a semi formal talk with her about her attitude and she’s reined it in a bit with me, mostly.

Anyway. I’m on annual leave this week. Apart from the fact she has been sending me multiple queries a day (all of which she should have been able to work out herself) there have been a few messages in the group chat (which goes to all the owners/head office/managers) that I feel are aimed at trying to throw me under the bus. She’s made herself look stupid each time tbf but I think I need to deal with this.

#1 ‘empress didn’t order enough X last week so we need extra this week’.
X is an item that I don’t order, it gets sent out by Head Office automatically.

#2 ‘we don’t have any Y and Empress hasn’t ordered any so can you send some’. My boss replied to say our system is showing we have lots of Y so we need to do a full stock take as if that’s wrong what else is. Surprise surprise we did indeed have plenty of Y.

#3 ‘It doesn’t look like XYZ was done last week so should I do it now?’ It WAS done, but yes you need to do again today if it needs doing and why are you even asking this on the group chat?

So. Am I being paranoid here or is she actively trying to make out I’m not doing my job properly? And do I just let her carry on and hoist herself or pull her up on it when I go back?

OP posts:
determinedtomakethiswork · 18/01/2023 15:41

Call her up on every single thing and copy head office into your meeting. She's just making herself look stupid.

MissingMoominMamma · 18/01/2023 15:42

She is, and it will be pretty obvious to those who can see it. Silly moo!

Iamthewombat · 18/01/2023 15:46

Yes, that’s what she is doing. Lucky for you that she’s so inept about it!

Chickalettaetta · 18/01/2023 15:50

I would speak to your line manager (I'm guessing you don't have an Area Manager given size of company) and say, although you are on annual leave, you are aware of the issues within the store this week and will be addressing them with deputy on your return and revisiting her training.

On returning I would have a meeting with the deputy and let her know you have said this and then go through each concern and your training plan.

It would let her know you are fully aware of what she is doing, puts the onus back onto her to improve and also lets your manager know you are switched on to it.

Original poster
EmpressOfTheSofa · 18/01/2023 15:50

I’m not responding on the group chat out of principle (because I’m on AL) but I am reading it all and finding it grimly amusing. I have no worries about my job, I’ve just had a glowing appraisal. But it’s just so so blatant that I wondered if I could possibly be misunderstanding her intent as no one (sane) could be that obvious?

OP posts:
RheanaT · 18/01/2023 15:51

Yes, definitely.

determinedtomakethiswork · 18/01/2023 15:51

In the first issue, did someone point out to her that it wasn't your job?

Original poster
EmpressOfTheSofa · 18/01/2023 15:52

Chickalettaetta · 18/01/2023 15:50

I would speak to your line manager (I'm guessing you don't have an Area Manager given size of company) and say, although you are on annual leave, you are aware of the issues within the store this week and will be addressing them with deputy on your return and revisiting her training.

On returning I would have a meeting with the deputy and let her know you have said this and then go through each concern and your training plan.

It would let her know you are fully aware of what she is doing, puts the onus back onto her to improve and also lets your manager know you are switched on to it.

This is a good plan. If I were to take it on face value I can see that this has highlighted gaps in her training; she needs to understand the ordering system, how to check stock and when things need to be done.

OP posts:
Original poster
EmpressOfTheSofa · 18/01/2023 15:54

determinedtomakethiswork · 18/01/2023 15:51

In the first issue, did someone point out to her that it wasn't your job?

Yes! The person whose job it is. And who didn’t take well to being told they’d sent the wrong amount in that way…

OP posts:
Jellycats4life · 18/01/2023 15:56

Looks blankly passive aggressive to me. On the plus side she’s showing herself up.

Is this something worth answering yourself in the group chat? I.e. when she tells everyone you didn't order X (bold of her to do this knowing you’re in the chat btw) maybe you should - curtly but breezily say - “Hi Jane, I don’t order X because Head Office send it out automatically”.

I can see why you’d be reluctant to get involved in the pettiness, but equally it’s not fair to be constantly trying to throw you under the bus for made up misdemeanours.

Iamthewombat · 18/01/2023 15:56

She needs to wake her ideas up or leave. Ideally the latter. Just be careful when you next have a semi-formal chat with her. Her sort are the first to scream that they are being bullied when they hear something they don’t like. It sounds as if she’d try anything to discredit you.

takealettermsjones · 18/01/2023 15:58

Chickalettaetta · 18/01/2023 15:50

I would speak to your line manager (I'm guessing you don't have an Area Manager given size of company) and say, although you are on annual leave, you are aware of the issues within the store this week and will be addressing them with deputy on your return and revisiting her training.

On returning I would have a meeting with the deputy and let her know you have said this and then go through each concern and your training plan.

It would let her know you are fully aware of what she is doing, puts the onus back onto her to improve and also lets your manager know you are switched on to it.

This is exactly the right strategy. To your superiors you tell them you know there's a problem and set out your plan to fix it. To your direct reports you provide honest feedback, explain where/how they can improve, and offer extra training.

SomethingLessIdentifiable · 18/01/2023 16:00

I would definitely take the approach that this is a training issue, both with your line manager and with the deputy herself.

If she is doing this on purpose and she’s got any sense, she’ll soon stop once she realises it makes her look inadequate or incapable of doing her own job properly.

ClarissaParry · 18/01/2023 16:00

EmpressOfTheSofa · 18/01/2023 15:52

This is a good plan. If I were to take it on face value I can see that this has highlighted gaps in her training; she needs to understand the ordering system, how to check stock and when things need to be done.

Show quote history

Agreed. Equally, in your next one to one woth your own manager, ensure you've shared what your plan is to ensure these performance gaps are addressed. You need to be able to go on holiday at some point again this year, and she needs to know how to hold the fort when you do. This tactic is probably better than directly addressing her attempts to undermine you.

This behaviour of hers shows that she really isn't manager material! She needs to get over herself and get on with the job, or move on.

Jellycats4life · 18/01/2023 16:01

I cross posted with a few people. I think @Chickalettaetta’s advice is perfect actually, but @Iamthewombat probably has a point about her accusing you of bullying. She’s obviously not afraid of telling fibs.

Original poster
EmpressOfTheSofa · 18/01/2023 16:02

It’s also interesting how actual queries are coming directly to me, but queries about things I apparently haven’t done or done wrong are going on the group chat. Funny that.

OP posts:
HellonHeels · 18/01/2023 16:02

Well now you know why she didn't get the job.

When you have your regular 121s make sure you take notes of everything and send her a copy afterwards. Make a full paper trail. If she's the type to make complaints you will want to cover yourself. Likewise if you want to manage her out you need a solid record of poor performance and how you managed it.

HellonHeels · 18/01/2023 16:04

Also, why the hell is there a whatsapp group with staff and management? Can you shift your work communications onto a business platform for better record keeping?

PatchworkElmer · 18/01/2023 16:11

I’d make sure to mention to your manager that she was also messaging you with questions.

Rebel2023 · 18/01/2023 16:17

HellonHeels · 18/01/2023 16:04

Also, why the hell is there a whatsapp group with staff and management? Can you shift your work communications onto a business platform for better record keeping?

We have one. But manager to manager talk isn't in it
It's stuff like
My system is broken
Has anyone got a phone charger/paracetamol
Can someone get milk/bread

Road closed, late for work
Managers giving staff info

clpsmum · 18/01/2023 16:19

With so many queries and her unprofessionalism I'd be questioning whether she is up
To the job tbh

MichelleScarn · 18/01/2023 16:27

I'd avoid addressing anything with her on informal group WhatsApp, as pp have said she could say you've done so to bully and humiliate her in front of other people.

Original poster
EmpressOfTheSofa · 18/01/2023 16:27

Honestly the amount of queries about stuff she should either know or have the confidence to just do are massively winding me up. If you’re the assistant manager I should be able to go away for a week and leave you to it fgs.

OP posts:
Original poster
EmpressOfTheSofa · 18/01/2023 16:28

MichelleScarn · 18/01/2023 16:27

I'd avoid addressing anything with her on informal group WhatsApp, as pp have said she could say you've done so to bully and humiliate her in front of other people.

Yeah I’m not getting involved.

OP posts:
Hankunamatata · 18/01/2023 16:29

She doesn't sound very bright.