Has your school got naughty list?

[raspberryjuiceandpompoms]

I find it very concerning that our school has a naughty list. Now, my child is teacher’s pet and can do no wrong. I’m concerned about other pupils and language used around it. My boy calls it bad list. Therefore he perceives pupils on that list as bad. So do other kids too by the way. He’s terrified of getting his name on it. You can be on it for fighting (obviously), for fighting back, for talking in the class (even if you ask your friend to stop talking to you). My DS in year 1 by the way. He also says one of the teachers shouted at one child for talking and it was terrifying. Am I being a bit too sensitive and it’s all normal part of school discipline?

YABU - it’s ok
YNBU - school could do with some feedback

I think perhaps you need to ask the teacher to clarify.

@TightFistedWozerk I think I will, I just didn’t know it was there tbh. I wonder if that’s what most schools do, in which case I will just leave at having a chat with my son about difference between bad person and bad behaviour.

We used to write a name on the board for first warning, second warning etc. but it wasn't a naughty list just part of a discipline policy. Each day started afresh.

My kids school used the traffic lights system at this age. Certainly some kids spent more time in red than others (DS 👀) but it wasn’t as stigmatising as ‘naughty list’

@CaptainMyCaptain ah ok, thanks for this. Maybe it’s the case with our school too then. I will chat with them about the list then. I just didn’t like my son saying “so and so is bad, teacher put his name on bad list”.

This is very normal.

No, I wouldn't like this either. They have a 'sad cloud' in reception which is bad enough but it sounds as if it's very rarely used. As they get older they are given warnings and then sent to speak to the head. I chose the school because of the very good behaviour though so these systems seem to be used only in extreme circumstances. I have worked as a teacher and was always told not to use the word naughty.

Our school uses the weather. All kids start in the sun in the morning. If they misbehave they get moved to the cloud and if they misbehave again they go to the rain. I think on the third strike they get some kind of punishment like extra work.
I found that the kids on that list usually dont care so much. My son used to be in the rain a lot. He wasnt fazed at all. DD has that teacher now and she is like your DS. Total teachers pet and scared to go on the list and constantly telling me about the “bad” kids in the rain. Its always the same few names in the rain 🙈

Do you think that the school has an actual list of naughty kids? It's just an expression isn't it? Tim's been bold, he's on the naughty list for the day. But there isn't a record kept that will follow him around for life. I can't see an issue here.

This is what my daughter's first school did, we moved her from the school after a year and a half because (amongst other things) the way they implemented it wasn't very nice and wasn't altered for children with disabilities. It was a stressful mechanism for a lot of children.

New school only uses positive discipline and natural consequences, and bizarrely has a much higher standard of behaviour.

Our school uses a warning and reward system. All the kids know who has what because they see the behaviour for themselves.

I imagine it's some variation on the sun/rain cloud form of behaviour management. Pretty outdated and poor strategy now but some schools do keep flogging this horse and thinking they can fix problematic behaviour rooted in SN/trauma/mental health/attachment difficulties by sticking a small child's name on a cloud.

Bold?

What does that mean? Courageous and brave ?

It'll just be some sort of behaviour system and with Christmas just gone I expect it's the kids who've named it "the naughty list". No good teacher would use that terminology for something like this

It's like teachers using colours or shapes for ability sets. It's supposed to be so the kids don't know which set is which, but they always know 😁

Bold=naughty. Commonly used in Ireland.

@cavebaby I’m with you on this one. I know the child my DS labelled as ‘bad’ and I know that his behaviour is border line ASD. Not sure his parents pushed for extra support or a diagnosis but spending 10 minutes with that child you’ll know that he just can’t help himself.

@StClare101 ooh, interested to know what rewards are offered please? My DS only talks about consequences (he can’t event properly say the word, bless!) like staying behind at playtime etc

Our school has a traffic light system. All the kids try to stay on green but they can be moved to amber (which is a warning) and then to red (for consequences, if they don't heed the warning)

Consequences are missing playtime for x amount of minutes or whatever.

It could be that another child has called it "the naughty side" or "the naughty list" and your child has picked up on it.

I wouldn't go in all guns blazing about it, because controlling a room of 30 6 year old must be a nightmare!

I've always found any of these systems at any age do nothing to stem the disruptive element who use it as a badge of honour, it scares and upsets the kids who do care.

Also, behaviour is subjective. Kids very rarely act up without a reason. It could be SEN/Autism. It could be family related, such as family break ups or disruption. It could be financial as a family in poverty isn't exactly a happy one, they could be going without a decent meal which will effect a child's whole behaviour. It could be tiredness.

One kid in my teen's form class last year (year 10 at the time) had over 400 behaviour points and sat countless detentions. When the read his tally out at the end of the year, rather than be ashamed he stood up and took a bow whilst several others clapped and found it hilarious (including DD who is a pretty good kid but knows that sometimes joining in is easier than being perceived as a nerd).

@Dacadactyl no-no I don’t want to go in guns blazing. I wouldn’t want their job so I’m very grateful for their work. It’s a lovely school and Reception year was fantastic but I find Y1 communication is lacking, I barely know the teachers and during parents evening the main focus was on my DS’s academic ability so I’m in the dark as to what’s happening behaviour wise. DS is my oldest so no experience with dealing with schools either!

This so much! It doesn't take a genius to realise that kids communicate with behaviour when they don't have the verbal capacity or emotional literacy to deal with big feelings.

It's up to the adults around them whether to punish their behaviour or address their difficulties. Having moved from a school that did the former to a school that does the latter, I can tell you which group of children are more relaxed, better behaved and engaged in their learning, and it's not the group of kids who aren't having their emotional needs met.

@ReformedWaywardTeen absolutely agree with you on this one!

@Idtotallybangdreamoftheendlessnotgonnalie please can you give an example of how does your new school handle disruptive behaviour?

Exactly. Blaming a kid does nothing unless you try and work out with persistent bad behaviour why it's happening.

I for one know when my two are unhappy or have something going on. My older teen gets teary and hides in bed. DS gets angry and that's not like him.

I think it's the easier option for schools because they've got so many to teach and so much going on. So they have behaviour points and traffic lights and sunshine's and all that does is dehumanise children and have them as either good or bad, naughty or nice. It does nothing to sort the cause of the behaviour out.

My sons class does this sort of "secret student" thing - the teacher chooses a student but keeps it secret. As they all go through their day, the teacher will note good/bad behaviour from that student.

At the end of the day, if the secret student is due good feedback, they'll be named and told in front of everyone they were the secret student and what they did so well.

If they are due negative feedback, the class aren't told who it is, but as a group they'll be told roughly why the secret student didn't "win".

Presumably she'll then use that feedback to form conversations with the specific student in private.