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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Has your school got naughty list?

34 replies

raspberryjuiceandpompoms · 18/01/2023 10:33

I find it very concerning that our school has a naughty list. Now, my child is teacher’s pet and can do no wrong. I’m concerned about other pupils and language used around it. My boy calls it bad list. Therefore he perceives pupils on that list as bad. So do other kids too by the way. He’s terrified of getting his name on it. You can be on it for fighting (obviously), for fighting back, for talking in the class (even if you ask your friend to stop talking to you). My DS in year 1 by the way. He also says one of the teachers shouted at one child for talking and it was terrifying. Am I being a bit too sensitive and it’s all normal part of school discipline?

YABU - it’s ok
YNBU - school could do with some feedback

OP posts:
raspberryjuiceandpompoms · 18/01/2023 13:56

@BernadetteRostankowskiWolowitz ehat do you think of this system? Does it work?

OP posts:
Mariposista · 18/01/2023 14:21

Ours has a traffic light system. They all start on green each day, then if they are naughty they move to yellow (they get the chance to apologise and correct the behaviour throughout the day and move back to green, no grudges born). If they continue they move to red for the rest of the day (missed play, parents called etc). Next day back to green. The kids don't come in already pre-listed as 'naughty'.

BernadetteRostankowskiWolowitz · 18/01/2023 14:22

raspberryjuiceandpompoms · 18/01/2023 13:56

@BernadetteRostankowskiWolowitz ehat do you think of this system? Does it work?

I'm not sure what I thunk tbh. I'm not a teacher so I can't speak for how it compares to other techniques teachers use, but it seems effective from what ds says about it.

Idtotallybangdreamoftheendlessnotgonnalie · 18/01/2023 14:46

raspberryjuiceandpompoms · 18/01/2023 13:29

@ReformedWaywardTeen absolutely agree with you on this one!

@Idtotallybangdreamoftheendlessnotgonnalie please can you give an example of how does your new school handle disruptive behaviour?

Ooh honestly I could talk about this all day, it's been such a paradigm shift in how I think. They basically "gentle teach" in the same way that I try to "gentle parent".

So to start with, there are high expectations and high standards of behaviour. All the times I've popped in (4-5 times, unannounced to drop stuff off etc) the classrooms have been busy but calm and focused. These high standards are coupled with the belief that children want to meet these standards. As such, the school doesn't use the words naughty, bad, disruptive, they only say disregulated. If a child is acting in a detrimental way in the classroom they take the approach of helping the child fix the problem in order to help them learn, rather than fixing the resulting behaviour.

But it all goes hand in hand with meeting their needs, so in the classroom under the whiteboard there are a stack of wobble cushions, a stack of fidget toys, there are sensory items to fiddle. The behaviour expectation is that children sit quietly on their spot in the carpet, so the tools are there to help them do so "Jayden, you look like you've got the wiggles- do you want a wobble cushion or a weighted toy to look after?", and so the child is encouraged to learn to self regulate their behaviour, rather than going in with a "you'll move to yellow if you don't sit on the mat". It empowers the child, lets them self advocate, rather than now giving them an extra worry of "I'm in trouble" on top of "I need to wiggle".

So you've got this positive feedback into the child's self esteem going on, and the kid now knows they're a good kid, and the next day the teacher has praised them for picking a wobble cushion on the way to the carpet and managing half the session without wandering. The day after that they manage even longer. The teacher then loudly tells the parent at pick up, "Mrs Smith, Jayden has has the most amazing day, he sat on the carpet nicely for a whole session. I was so proud".

And some days Jayden will get it right, and some days he'll need a bit of support. Sometimes he'll get cross at having to join in, and some days he will be the first with his hand up. But they just seem to take the attitude that it's ok. They treat them like little adults- you're having a bad day? Ok, what do you need, in this moment, to help with that? Five minutes peace? Some fresh air? A run round. Ok let's do that then.

The teachers teach the children to learn and settle themselves before they really start learning. It is honestly.... Fascinating. There is just so much respect and trust between the children and the teachers. My mind is honestly blown by it.

raspberryjuiceandpompoms · 18/01/2023 17:07

@Idtotallybangdreamoftheendlessnotgonnalie ah that sounds absolutely amazing, thanks for such an extensive reply 😊 your kids are very lucky to have a school like that, I don’t believe there any schools with such ethos around where I live unfortunately.

OP posts:
StClare101 · 18/01/2023 22:48

raspberryjuiceandpompoms · 18/01/2023 11:34

@StClare101 ooh, interested to know what rewards are offered please? My DS only talks about consequences (he can’t event properly say the word, bless!) like staying behind at playtime etc

They get a “mention” as in I’d like to mention Tom for his great sharing today at the end of the day by the teacher. Consistent good behaviour or effort gets a certificate of merit (they have to work hard for those) and 5 certificates of merit means an honour award presented at assembly. 3 or 4 kids on average across a school of 1100 get presented an honour award each week.

raspberryjuiceandpompoms · 18/01/2023 23:00

@StClare101 ah, I see! Thanks for giving an example. We’ve got “houses” and house points for good behaviour, also awards like “perseverance penguin” etc. sounds quite similar

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ukholidayseeker · 18/01/2023 23:44

We have a list of pupils who have specific needs and support in place for them.

We have a list of kids with allergies.

No naughty list!

joanofarcmum · 27/04/2023 10:12

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