Does anyone have positive experience with lodgers ?

[Cinammonroll]

My partner is interested in us taking one to save money, which I agree would be helpful.
I think I'm just worried as I really like my own space. Don't want to go back to essentially flat sharing, it really depends, there's some nice people I've lived with in the past and who you can bump into in the kitchen and have a nice chat with etc.
My partner says we could all cook together and share groceries etc.
Honestly I just like my own space, I like coming in from work and relaxing and being on my own.
I'm just introverted and quiet.
Has anybody got successful experience of it?

What about compromising with a Mon-Fri let? Or Air bnb t your room

I grew up with lodgers in the house. Some were awful. Some became life-long family friends. The worst were the British ones - by far! The best were the European exchange students. Lovely and friendly and gracious. It was interesting. I grew up with Argentinians, Chileans, French, Russians, some English twats, some lovely Icelanders and Finns. I liked the French the best and they helped me get an A at A level by refusing to speak English with me.

Yeah that sounds like a good idea. Someone just there for work might be ok, I don't want someone who's moving in expecting to always hang out as a three and become best mates.

Has your partner ever shared living space before? His idea of having a lodger seems very romanticised from the mention of sharing groceries and cooking meals together. You may do this with a flat mate you’ve chosen to share with who was already a friend, but a lodger I wouldn’t be expecting that of them. Especially because you two are a couple, it isn’t the easiest dynamic compared to say three friends sharing a property.

A Monday -Friday set up could potentially work.

I’ve been on the other side and twice 10-15 years ago I have been a lodger in a household with just one female owner/occupant.

I always did my own thing and never expected to hang around with the owner, although in both cases we got on well and would occasionally chat over a coffee or a wine. If you go ahead you need to be clear about household expectations and ‘rules’ etc from the outset. If you are clean and tidy (or not), smoker/non-smoker, have pets, and are trying to be thrifty with the cost of living etc then make that crystal clear. Draw up a lodger agreement from online examples.

A Monday to Friday let may suit you better or if you are near an airport consider short-term cabin crew lets (I know someone who used to do this and the lodgers are not around all the time due to their shifts etc).

I have had positive experiences, I live alone and have had two lovely female lodgers, one who was here for a year from South Africa and one local woman who only moved out as I was selling.

I have also had one male who I wasn't sure about as its basically letting a stranger in your home, but he only wanted 6 months so I thought if its awful its only short term. He was from Iraq and was lovely, he needed to stay longer to finish his PHD.

It can be a great way to meet people from other countries, just set out some ground rules at the start.

Yes, I had a female lodger librarian who lived with us for 8 months. As good as gold, kept herself to herself and spent most of her time in her room. Was allowed access to all areas but wanted to be in her room. would often cook herself something and sit in kitchen eating and chatting, so was sociable.

I do think short term is far better, people that are in the area for a shorter period of time, for education or work placement

My partner says we could all cook together and share groceries etc.

Beware your partner conjuring an imaginary Dream Lodger who won't live up to his naive expectations. They are there to rent a room & facilities off you, not become your partner's new best friend. They might now want to share cooking & groceries. They might expect you to work to a rota about who can be in the kitchen at specific times - & they'd be well within their rights to do so.

How keen are you on going along with this, & how much extra money does it actually mean you could save?

Then you need to put your foot down, because this is obviously exactly what your partner wants.

"Cooking together & sharing groceries" is equivalent to hanging out as a three, yeah?

Well of course from your description you are not going to like a lodger.

What they are like - depends. They are diverse as people. Some you will never see and are always out. Others its like they are permanently rooted to your sofa.

Some will be a joy to live with and recognise that they are a guest in your space. Others will feel the fact that they pay money gives them all sorts of rights to do whatever they want.

Simple solution might be to get someone short term to see how it works out.

Quite often universities look for host families who could take in an overseas student - short term, probably not in that much, might be interesting, easy to back out of if you don't like it!

Or language schools that look to place short-term students.

Agree that a Monday Friday lodger is a good idea. If they have their own home to go back to you might be less likely to end up with someone you eg can’t evict if you run into problems and it will also give you downtime. Professionals wanting this kind of let may also be in the house less at evenings and bank holidays etc. There is a website specialising in this sort of arrangement.

Just make sure YOU choose the lodger op.

Having once been a lodger, I would say never again!
I was supposed to be sharing a small house with one other lodger but the couple that owned the house would also appear every weekend, fill up the fridge with their food so there was no space for anything else, take drugs, put the radio on full blast very early in the morning... etc.
The husband was a particular gem and would do things like switch off the lights in the room where I was studying, or if I was listening to music in the sitting room he would come in and put the telly on full blast without saying a word.
They had their own bathroom but when he needed to wash an oily car engine, of course he did it in the bathtub I shared with the other lodger. And then left it filthy!
I don't know what his problem was but I soon cleared out of that place. It was a shame as the wife was quite nice and had previously been a friend of mine from college.

If you're an introvert and like you're own space, then you'll probably hate it, so I wouldn't in your position. I've been a lodger when I was younger, but I was very considerate, stayed in my room, only used kitchen, washing machine etc when I knew they didn't need to, but not all lodgers are like that.

We have a lodger currently. And it’s totally fine. However that’s only because she had the attic bedroom which has its own bathroom and kitchenette. She also likes taking our dog for extra walks. Not sure I would do if no kitchenette in attic.

I've had many , many lodgers over the years - don't do it . As nice as some may be , it's very difficult to live alongside a stranger and if you get a shocker , it's a nightmare.

You do not want to be cooking together and sharing groceries. That might put some potential lodgers off too. If you do it keep your lives separate. Much easier all round. But obviously be civil and curteous.

Your OH needs to give his head a wobble. I've been a lodger myself, and I've had a lodger. It means essentially having a second household under your roof, and someone who is paying to be there, what's more. You're not all going to skip off down the path of life together. A lodger will have their own likes, dislikes and foibles.

We've had lodgers in the past, all apart from one were fine. I think the key thing is to find someone who just needs it temporarily like for few months or up a year, you don't really want a lodger to see your house as their permanent home as I think that's when conflicts and power struggles can arise. I am a bit baffled by your partner's attitude though, especially knowing how much you value your own space - sounds like he is looking to be part of a thruple!

When I bought my 1st flat (late 80's London) I needed a lodger to help pay the mortgage. My 1st lovely lady 10 years older than me - stayed a few months before buying her own flat. We are still friends to this day despite being very different. My flat had a tiny kitchen (literally gallery), shared bathroom and a shared living room/dining room. We were both professionals so worked long hours - that probably helped! When she moved out, someone else from the firm moved in. Male on secondment from overseas. He was different - I am chuckling now at the TV memory. I had finally bought a TV (small 14 in Sony triniton) - it was delivered when I was out shopping with my mum - we came home to find him in front of the TV literally 3 inches in front. It was all set up and must have taken him all afternoon to manually tune in!! He was a star at a party I held - made home made baklava - god it was good. Took him all day in the kitchen and I am not sure we ever got all of the sugar strands clean! He was lovely - friends went to stay with him years later when they were travelling around Egypt. He was a partner by then. I was perhaps less enamoured by all the porn material that he "forgot" to take with him when he moved out. Different time, different culture. It can be really good, but I was single, so were they, no kids, no pets, and very few expectations. (Apart from the Persian kittens I looked after for a week - didnt know my new lodger was fur-phobic!)

You dp is confusing lodgers and flatmates/couples.

You don't share groceries/meals.

Ime lodgers are great as you don't pay tax on their rent. It's free money!

The only thing I'd 'share' is loo roll which you calculate into their rent.

I'd expect them to have and wash their own towels, have their own fridge/freezer and kitchen cupboards with their own crockery/cutlery/utensils.

I think it's easier to get a cleaner so there's not resentment about things like cooker mess.

If they have a big room I'd keep the living room out of bounds for them do that's still your space in the evenings.

If you can give them an en-suite, even better.

If you like your own space and value your privacy then a lodger isn't for you. Personally I'd rather work a couple of evenings in the chippie or cab driving.
It's an odd thing to bring up given what you've said. You're not in a bigger financial mess than you realise are you?

Agree. If anything you'd want to keep food separate. Is there some other way to save/make money?