To feel pathetic continuing asking for money back

[WorriedMum13]

I recently used my credit card to purchase tickets for a show for myself and 3 friends. F1 paid instantly, F2 said she would drop the money to me (no online banking apparently which I find hard to believe), F3 said nothing.

We went to the show, no mention of the money, but I was enjoying the night and forgot to ask.

A few weeks later I meet F2 for lunch at a cafe, she mentions she owes me for the tickets so would pay for my lunch - this was maybe £8-£10 max.

I messaged F3 recently asking for the money, she says she will get this to me soon but no mention of when.

Tickets were £45 each so currently £90 out of pocket (£80 if we deduct lunch). I feel like I'm somehow in the wrong for continuing to ask for the money back.

AIBU and should drop it, or do I keep asking/reminding them what I'm owed?

This is MN, you know everyone will just reply "ask her every single day until she pays it".

Which isn't bad advice, to be fair.

These “friends” are taking the piss. Just tell them you want the money by Friday or they’ll need to cover interest on your credit card.

Have you asked why they haven’t paid?

message friends: “hi X, I have a few bits coming out of my account shortly so will need the money owed for those tix by X date, here are my bank details again in case you need, thanks a lot! worriedmum13

I haven't asked. I feel awkward enough reminding them I'm owed money. I don't know why but it fills me with anxiety, as if I'm in the wrong for chasing.

They owe it. You ask for it. You're in the right.

Message them to say you need the money paid by Wednesday as you need them to settle up before you pay your credit card bill. Include your bank details. If they don’t bank online tell them to put the cash in an envelope and post it through your door.

If they do t settle up by Wednesday then send a group message on Thursday reminding them - include f1 and say “thanks f1 for settling up quickly” before telling them you need the money transferred immediately.
If f2 points out she paid for lunch, then be clear that lunch cost £10 and the tickets were £45.

Its not rude or pathetic to need to be repaid!

Keep asking till they are squared up. Any embarrassment is theirs, not yours!

If they still haven't coughed up in 2 weeks tell them to Fuck Off, and let the friend who paid up promptly know you have cut the others out and why.

Take no shit from freeloaders, EVER.

You’ll be surprised how when you’re very direct, in a friendly but assertive way, how effective it will be. Will they be mildly pissed off that you’ve asked v directly for your money back? You shouldn’t care, they are the ones in the wrong, so they’ll need to suck it up otherwise they aren’t good friends at all.

The mistake you made was not getting they m money before going to the concert. All you can do is ask. Luckily my friends all pay up. If one consistently didn't I wouldn't invite them to anything that needed paying for, just meet for a walk or coffee at each others houses.

They're probably hoping you feel this way and let it go. I would ask again but say you need it back by a specific date, don't leave it open ended.

YNBU. It's pretty bad manners to take the tickets and not stump up the money. Say you needed the money back and can they pay you as soon as possible. Next time get them to buy the tickets.

Thank you. I need to be direct.

I don't understand how people can be so dismissive when they owe someone money. I hate being in debt to anyone.

Your friends are shameful. Honestly what is wrong with people? Especially Friend C how seems to have maintained complete radio silence about the whole thing.

YANBU X

I’d set up a group chat with the three of you and say “Hi guys, thought it easier to set up a group chat so I’m not sending the same message twice. Here are my bank details again, F3 you owe £45 and F2 is just £35 as you bought my lunch the other day. Please settle up by Wednesday as I’m going to get charged interest if I don’t clear the balance by the end of the week. Thanks”

Agree with this

If f2 points out she paid for lunch, then be clear that lunch cost £10 and the tickets were £45.

And make sure it's only YOUR share of lunch she's knocking off her bill too!

This is perfect.
@WorriedMum13 How on earth are you feeling in the wrong for asking for money that’s yours? They are wrong, not you. Are you a bit of a people pleaser? If so, it’s probably time to stop letting people take advantage of you. “Friends” like this will do it again and again if you let them. And they’ll say things like “oh but I pad for lunch, remember?” so you have to be prepared to say that was only £10.

I’d give it a few days and then text both of them to remind them what they owe and when they’re planning on paying you back.

If they get shitty, so be it.
They’re grown adults who shouldn’t be borrowing money without paying it back.

I bet these are the sort to not stop going on about it if you borrowed 50p.

Thanks everyone. I'm going to send a message to them both with my bank details.

I hate any type of conflict and can be a bit of a people pleaser which is why I hate chasing up. They probably both know this..

Let us know how it goes. They are CF’s and if you don’t ask you aren’t just not getting your money back, you are setting a precedence that they can take the piss

Good call, OP. Cheeky fuckers rely on people feeling too awkward to ask to be repaid. If it was a fiver or a tenner fair enough, but £45 isn’t small change!!

Well done. It's hard but you need to try and be a bit more direct or people will walk over you your entire life.

Next time get the money off people BEFORE you buy any tickets, always always get the money upfront.

What kind of freeloading, scabby feckers are they? Please do send the message OP. They have no shame.