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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To use (a bit of) free parking slot to sit in car and eat

212 replies

HungryPerson · 16/01/2023 14:14

Genuinely don't know if IABU or not 😆

I have several appointments today so I'm somewhat rushing around, with a couple of gaps. I drove to one appointment (in town centre, no dedicated parking for the place I'm going to) and parked in a town centre car park. The car park has a number of spaces that are free for one hour, so I used one of those.

My appointment only took ten minutes so I took the opportunity to go and buy a sandwich, went back to my car and sat there to eat it. So as not to drip feed, I'm pregnant and hungry! Don't know if that matters. It's also freezing, so although there was a bench outside, I didn't want to sit there.

While eating a woman knocked on my window. I opened the door and she asked me to move. I looked around and there were no more free spaces, and she was waiting for mine. I apologised (bc British 😆) and said I'd be done in a minute.

She then said "absolutely ridiculous." I said, "pardon?" and she ranted at me for a minute or two, the gist being that I'm selfish and entitled. I didn't say anything, just gave her a look and shut the door on her, and then I left. I was sitting in the car for maybe ten minutes max.

Altogether I only used the space for 25 minutes ish. And if I'd sat on the bench to eat I still would have been occupying the space. But I'm questioning myself now!

Was I unreasonable?

OP posts:
Glorianna · 16/01/2023 22:10

Rude woman was an idiot not to consider that you might have been waiting for someone.

onyttig · 16/01/2023 22:11

The OP was parked in a parking space. Within the hour time limited. She needed somewhere to park her car while she ate her lunch. That’s true whether she ate the lunch in the car, on a bench, in a cafe, wherever.

Just because another woman wanted to avoid paying 20p doesn’t make the OP wrong for having used a parking space to park her car.

Sometimes the parking spaces are all full. That is life.

LimeTwists · 16/01/2023 22:13

You can park your car there for an hour. If you want to eat, make a call or anything else then that’s entirely up to you. I guess it’s annoying if she thinks you are hogging a space unnecessarily if you aren’t shopping but that’s still not for her to police.

Sparklingbrook · 16/01/2023 22:15

Just because another woman wanted to avoid paying 20p doesn’t make the OP wrong for having used a parking space to park her car

I don’t believe anyone is saying that. I think it’s odd that if there were plenty of 20p spaces why the woman was so determined to get the OP out of her free one. 🤷‍♀️And how she went about it was awful.

lieselotte · 16/01/2023 22:30

I think it’s odd that if there were plenty of 20p spaces why the woman was so determined to get the OP out of her free one

I don't think it's that odd - people are very odd about paying for parking. None of us like it, but 20p is nothing, If you can afford a car, you can afford 20p. Or you park somewhere else and walk.

Sparklingbrook · 16/01/2023 22:37

20p is nothing, If you can afford a car, you can afford 20p. Or you park somewhere else and walk.

That's exactly why I think this woman's behaviour was odd.

StoneofDestiny · 16/01/2023 22:40

Woman was an idiot and probably needed that pointing out.

ShutUpBaggyTits · 16/01/2023 22:44

The only one being selfish and entitled was her!

If she'd have done that to me, I would've said sorry I'm not going yet, closed the door and looked away.

Don't give it another thought.

fancydressjess · 17/01/2023 05:41

gravyriceandchips · 16/01/2023 18:27

Anyway, the proper British etiquette is to pull up and mouth "are you going" and then wait if they say yes and thumbs up drive off if they aren't.

Exactly. You ask "are you going", not "can you leave?" as the latter implies some sort of greater entitlement to the space
And how vulgar to knock on the window...

dogdaydown · 17/01/2023 09:12

UsingChangeofName · 16/01/2023 19:32

I can see why she was annoyed.
She could have had an important appointment or interview and you’re there taking up a space you don’t need.

But the OP did need it. She needed it to eat her sandwich in.
As far as the other driver is concerned, she (the OP) might also have had an appointment she was about to go to. The other driver had no idea. She was entitled and rude.
Quite frankly, the OP might have just needed a nap, or she might have been checking her e-mails. It is completely irrelevant. She was in the sapce, so it wasn't available.

Exactly this, but the PP prices that there are such entitled "I'm more important" than you people in the world.

dogdaydown · 17/01/2023 09:13

Proves not prices

Merryoldgoat · 17/01/2023 09:24

I don’t know why but I think YABU.

I feel like parking spaces are for parking and not sitting in.

I think it’s a reasonable assumption that if looking for a space in a car park, a person in the driving seat is about to leave or just parked.

However the other spaces being available makes you less unreasonable.

Im just reminded of a time in a very busy Sainsbury’s when I was 8months pregnant with my 4yo and I was looking for ANY space and a woman was loading her car in a parent and child space, got in and sat and ate a pie whilst the car park was so full and it made me really angry.

Obviously not the case here but it just made me think of it.

Ivyiris · 17/01/2023 09:31

If she spoke to me like that I wouldn't be moving at all and would tell her to f off. If someone asked politely I wouldn't have an issue

MyLittleSausageDog · 17/01/2023 09:39

I’d have been annoyed with you. For all you know she could have had an urgent medical appointment. Car parks aren’t for sitting there smugly eating your lunch, take it home.

Wdib78 · 17/01/2023 09:42

Can see her point but nbu, you said you'd be a minute and she said "absolutely ridiculous "

I'd have been tempted to get out and go for a wander and have told her I had more to do in town

Patineur · 17/01/2023 09:42

CatJumperTwat · 16/01/2023 15:40

I wouldn't have done it because it's selfish. But I wouldn't ask someone doing it to move because I know they have every right to be there.

Why is it selfish? OP simply chose to eat in the car instead of outside. Would you call her selfish if she had chosen to sit on a bench or in a restaurant for that purpose? What is the difference?

WandaWonder · 17/01/2023 09:44

I would have replied something like 'I am working undercover', 'my puppy has gone off to pay a bill', 'we are filming a new series of Candid Camera' 'my Mafia partner has gone off to rob a bank'

Looloo278 · 17/01/2023 09:45

I would have told her to bugger off and then purposefully took longer to eat my sarnie!

Patineur · 17/01/2023 09:47

toocold54 · 16/01/2023 17:20

I can see why she was annoyed.

She could have had an important appointment or interview and you’re there taking up a space you don’t need.

If you’re doing it you can believe others would be doing it too.

But I wouldn’t have said anything as I’ve waited in the car a few times for my passenger.

It would be dangerous to assume that you would get through an important appointment or interview within the one hour allowed for a free space. If it was that important, she could have gone in one of the 20p spaces.

Patineur · 17/01/2023 09:55

Sparklingbrook · 16/01/2023 21:51

She possibly didn't have 20p. No excuse for behaving as she did but made it more understandable why she couldn't park in one of those spaces.

Show quote history

If you really don't have 20p in a car park that cheap, you accept the risk that there will be no free spaces and make alternative plans for parking. You don't expect to bully other people out of their spaces.

Most car parks allow for payment by card and/or phone these days, anyway.

Patineur · 17/01/2023 09:59

MyLittleSausageDog · 17/01/2023 09:39

I’d have been annoyed with you. For all you know she could have had an urgent medical appointment. Car parks aren’t for sitting there smugly eating your lunch, take it home.

Why does having an important medical appointment entitle her to a free space when there are plenty of 20p spaces available?

Why is it "smugly eating" if you are in a car but just "eating" if you are in a restaurant or sitting on a park bench?

WandaWonder · 17/01/2023 10:03

How on earth is eating something to be smug about?

Next it will be jealousy over buying a newspaper shock horror

AlwaysAReason · 17/01/2023 10:10

She was rude and you were NBU

Sparklingbrook · 17/01/2023 10:17

MyLittleSausageDog · 17/01/2023 09:39

I’d have been annoyed with you. For all you know she could have had an urgent medical appointment. Car parks aren’t for sitting there smugly eating your lunch, take it home.

Then she should have just gone and parked in a 20p space and gone to her appointment.

Sparklingbrook · 17/01/2023 10:18

Patineur · 17/01/2023 09:55

If you really don't have 20p in a car park that cheap, you accept the risk that there will be no free spaces and make alternative plans for parking. You don't expect to bully other people out of their spaces.

Most car parks allow for payment by card and/or phone these days, anyway.

Show quote history

The OP confirmed other methods of payments were available after i posted that.