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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To use (a bit of) free parking slot to sit in car and eat

212 replies

HungryPerson · 16/01/2023 14:14

Genuinely don't know if IABU or not 😆

I have several appointments today so I'm somewhat rushing around, with a couple of gaps. I drove to one appointment (in town centre, no dedicated parking for the place I'm going to) and parked in a town centre car park. The car park has a number of spaces that are free for one hour, so I used one of those.

My appointment only took ten minutes so I took the opportunity to go and buy a sandwich, went back to my car and sat there to eat it. So as not to drip feed, I'm pregnant and hungry! Don't know if that matters. It's also freezing, so although there was a bench outside, I didn't want to sit there.

While eating a woman knocked on my window. I opened the door and she asked me to move. I looked around and there were no more free spaces, and she was waiting for mine. I apologised (bc British 😆) and said I'd be done in a minute.

She then said "absolutely ridiculous." I said, "pardon?" and she ranted at me for a minute or two, the gist being that I'm selfish and entitled. I didn't say anything, just gave her a look and shut the door on her, and then I left. I was sitting in the car for maybe ten minutes max.

Altogether I only used the space for 25 minutes ish. And if I'd sat on the bench to eat I still would have been occupying the space. But I'm questioning myself now!

Was I unreasonable?

OP posts:
WhereIsMumHiding3 · 16/01/2023 18:38

gravyriceandchips · 16/01/2023 18:27

Anyway, the proper British etiquette is to pull up and mouth "are you going" and then wait if they say yes and thumbs up drive off if they aren't.

Yes absolutely this!!! It's what we do.., frankly if someone is happy to leave then they will usually do. It if they aren't free to leave and dong want to them that parking space isn't free no matter how much I want it whine whine cos me me me entitled whine ...

woodhill · 16/01/2023 18:41

Yanbu

Perfectly reasonable thing for you to,do

None of that women's business

grumpycow1 · 16/01/2023 18:49

wordler · 16/01/2023 17:11

I'm so passive aggressive that if she'd indicated the problem was that I was eating in the car instead of leaving - I'd have got out, locked the car - walked a few yards away and eaten my sandwich while staring at her.

Bravo 👏 I love this level of petty 😂

WhereIsMumHiding3 · 16/01/2023 19:01

silverclock222 · 16/01/2023 15:22

Presumably they're meant really for people who are going to spend and look in more shops so IMO I would have used a 20p space. You being pregnant is irrelevant.

OP spent in the shops

She bought a sandwich
Hee being pregnant is relevant bc whilst she was hungry and had every right to eat hee sandwich there in hee warm car having bought it, as a pg woman she also would have needed to eat as blood sugars can drop quickly when you are pregnant. Obvs you aren't a mum or you would have known that or it's far too long ago for you to recall what it's like to be pregnant and hungry.

What is irrelevant is that another driver decides they wanted to park in the space OP was legally occupying as they saw OP return (8 months of..!!) to her car, made an assumption that she was leaving and that she ought to leave ans decided it was ok to shout at someone , especially a heavily pregnant woman. Nasty person so OP INBU to talk about it in MN

It's horrible behaviour and if she's done it in a cage infront od others she would have gotten pulled up in hee vicious behaviour and sent out

WhereIsMumHiding3 · 16/01/2023 19:03

Sorry hee was autocorrected from 'her'

And it was uploaded to say 8 months Pg not 8 months "of"

Nat6999 · 16/01/2023 19:08

You could have been diabetic & if you hadn't eaten driven off, collapsed & caused a crash & maybe killed someone. YANBU.

Basilthymerosemary · 16/01/2023 19:09

I do this all the time especially when I need a break from kids and husband! Need to pop to the shops.... get what I need and just enjoy the quiet time on my own in the car for a bit.

You did nothing wrong.

WhereIsMumHiding3 · 16/01/2023 19:11

Nat6999 · 16/01/2023 19:08

You could have been diabetic & if you hadn't eaten driven off, collapsed & caused a crash & maybe killed someone. YANBU.

That's a really good point too

Really if you are waiting for a space having seen someone return to the car, the British thing is to ask "hi are you leaving should I wait?"'and accept it if they shake their head ...

I can't imagine that other countries with same parking free tile set up are any diffrrrnt but I don't know the social norms in other countries eckubtrued

1982mommaof4 · 16/01/2023 19:25

YANBU she had no idea if you planned to leave the car after your sandwich for an appointment

UsingChangeofName · 16/01/2023 19:32

I can see why she was annoyed.
She could have had an important appointment or interview and you’re there taking up a space you don’t need.

But the OP did need it. She needed it to eat her sandwich in.
As far as the other driver is concerned, she (the OP) might also have had an appointment she was about to go to. The other driver had no idea. She was entitled and rude.
Quite frankly, the OP might have just needed a nap, or she might have been checking her e-mails. It is completely irrelevant. She was in the sapce, so it wasn't available.

TheFifthTellytubby · 16/01/2023 19:56

TwoStepsAhead34 · 16/01/2023 14:36

YANBU.
Next time sit in the passenger seat and eat your sandwiches. If someone comes knocking, say that you're waiting for the driver. Maybe I've done it in the past. Sorry, not sorry.

I was going to say exactly this! 😂(Also more room in the passenger seat for a picnic as no steering wheel to get in the way... 😉)

Battyfumworts · 16/01/2023 19:58

I’m sick of people being selfish, entitled and rude. I’d have sat and taken the whole hour to eat that sandwich, she have probably had a foxtrot Oscar thrown in too. I’m actually a really kind person but have absolutely had my fill of that kind of behaviour. What if you’d paid for 2 hours and were waiting for someone in a space you already paid for

Mamagonemad · 16/01/2023 20:04

Can’t believe 6% say YABU! Of course you weren’t! She was very rude & unreasonable.

BashfulClam · 16/01/2023 20:04

This is the moment where I’d get out my car and tell her ‘oh I must have forgot my arsehole deterrent , better go back to the shops!’ And walk away.

Laiste · 16/01/2023 20:09

@gravyriceandchips That's such a kind offer thank you so much!

I'll decline though, because i find i'm better off just not having something, rather than have the low fat/low carb version, if that makes sense? I'm a bit all or nothing! 🙂 Thank you again though x

ClairlouS · 16/01/2023 20:16

I am exactly the same, sometimes it is a bit of quiet in a busy day.

gravyriceandchips · 16/01/2023 20:22

Laiste · 16/01/2023 20:09

@gravyriceandchips That's such a kind offer thank you so much!

I'll decline though, because i find i'm better off just not having something, rather than have the low fat/low carb version, if that makes sense? I'm a bit all or nothing! 🙂 Thank you again though x

No problem I understand that totally.

I started the new year as a vegan. Bought all the bits to give it a good go. It is mostly vile to me.

Lasted a couple of days.

I want milk in my tea. Vegan cheese that I bought (Boursin ) is vile. I've given it a good go I think. I do like the nuggets and vegan wellingtons etc.

I'd rather not have anything than have the substitute as vegan meat etc is awful to me, so I'm vegetarian for as long as I want to be.

I'm keeping lots of the vegan diet (nuggets, vegan but roasts, mostly soya except in tea) but not all of it. I'd rather do something I can sustain long term.

It's about being realistic also. No point if it all tastes like shit and you feel deprived.

Laiste · 16/01/2023 20:31

Good for you for having a go though!

You don't know till you try. And maybe you'll try again one day - knowing what to avoid and being more prepared - and will succeed 😃

I'm trying to eat less meat. Would love to go veggie - but haven't the headspace right now. It's all about timing and state of mind isn't it.
Good luck!

(sorry for derail OP)

theGooHasGone · 16/01/2023 21:24

Absolutely nothing wrong with what you did. I'd have told her to bugger off and park elsewhere.

Original poster
HungryPerson · 16/01/2023 21:47

When I said I looked around and there were no more free spaces, I meant free as in no charge rather than unoccupied. I clarified in a further post that there were plenty of paying spaces, and it's only 20p for an hour.

There were other spaces this woman could have parked in.

OP posts:
Spiderboy · 16/01/2023 21:49

I’d have sat there another 35 minutes….

it’s just a car park! Somewhere to park your car. You needed to park your car to eat. You weren’t doing anything wrong. In fact I am annoyed you immediately left 😂

Sparklingbrook · 16/01/2023 21:51

HungryPerson · 16/01/2023 21:47

When I said I looked around and there were no more free spaces, I meant free as in no charge rather than unoccupied. I clarified in a further post that there were plenty of paying spaces, and it's only 20p for an hour.

There were other spaces this woman could have parked in.

She possibly didn't have 20p. No excuse for behaving as she did but made it more understandable why she couldn't park in one of those spaces.

Original poster
HungryPerson · 16/01/2023 21:52

toocold54 · 16/01/2023 17:22

But the OP did need it.

No she didn’t she left after she finished her sandwich.

No, I left after the woman had a go. I'd eaten most of the sandwich but not all of it. If she hadn't done what she did I'd have taken another couple of minutes to finish, and then left.

OP posts:
Original poster
HungryPerson · 16/01/2023 21:56

Sparklingbrook · 16/01/2023 21:51

She possibly didn't have 20p. No excuse for behaving as she did but made it more understandable why she couldn't park in one of those spaces.

Show quote history

Right, she might not have had 20p (or a bank card, or a phone with Apple/Google pay, or the means to pay with the app...). But why does that make me unreasonable? Genuinely asking!

I could have spent the same amount of time sitting on a nearby bench eating, and she would never have known it was my car. Why is that okay but what I did not okay?

OP posts:
Sparklingbrook · 16/01/2023 22:07

Right, she might not have had 20p (or a bank card, or a phone with Apple/Google pay, or the means to pay with the app...). But why does that make me unreasonable? Genuinely asking!

We’ll never know i suppose. And I didn’t say you were unreasonable, she definitely was, just trying to work out why she couldn’t use a 20p space. (I didn’t know what the other payment options were to pay 20p parking were TBF)