Stupidest thing you have done while drunk?

[TellMe67]

Threw up in a bush

@georgarina ha that's cheered me up no end 😂

Got locked in the upstairs loo with my friend in her Mums house while drinking before going out to save money (students) instead of having the sense to shout the rest of the group we decided to climb out the window. Unsurprisingly we got stuck and rescue had to be mounted by the next door neighbour and his ladder.

Got on the wrong bus to a shopping centre in Spain (sober) inexplicably we decided instead to go to the pub at the destination we arrived at and join in with some locals who were celebrating a cricket match and couldn't understand why we as Northern Irish teenagers weren't interested in cricket so proceeded to explain it in Spanish, then gave up and invited us to a pizza party instead, which we also stupidly attended. They also ensured we got on the correct bus back as we were now drunk idiots instead of just idiots.

Walked three hours home thinking I was going the right way.. walked the complete opposite direction

That's probably me too

Fell asleep in club toilets and woke up ages after everyone had left with staff banging on the door. The club had closed an hr earlier 😳

Accused a chained up bicycle of looking at me funny and then kicked it loudly. Climbed on top of a lion in Trafalgar Square and 'rode' it. Asked multiple strangers for chips. The puke and one night stands are a given.

My former boss and my DH share the same name.
Both are listed in my phone.
I phoned my DH and told him that I was on my way home and he'd better get ready to be fucked to the moon and back.
My former boss replied that it sounded lovely and I'm sure your DH will appreciate it.
I couldn't look him in the eye after that.

Oh my. This thread brought some memories back! I was a mess when I was younger! I remember wanting to throw up in a pond and a similarly drunk woman walked past asking what I'm doing. I made up an elaborate story about throwing my (imaginary) engagement ring in the pond. She helped me look for it for ages! I fell asleep in front of the oven, on the bath math. Got stuck climbing security fencing in view of all the apartments when I forgot my keys. Etc etc. I don't drink at all now.

Went to a job interview, puked on my suit whilst waiting to go in too. Why the hell I went is beyond me. Probably because I was drink and not thinking straight. Funny enough I didn’t get the job.

Climbed over massively high fencing to get into a pool, jumped off the 10m diving board and slapped my right tit super hard on the surface of the water and cried with pain for two days.

Got home and was starving, had two things in the fridge a pound of ox liver, fried that too dry then added a jar of korma sauce. Oh boy in the morning woke with a god awful taste in my mouth bleurgh vv 🤮.

You're not the only one! Woman I worked with got a taxi home after one of our many after-work binges drinks, got out of cab, fell over in the road. The cab driver, watching to see she made it through her front door, worried he might have missed something bad so reversed a little. He reversed over her prone, fortunately floppy body. She was then stuck under a wheel, so he drove forward a bit before diving out of the car in a horrified panic to examine the damage.

She was trying to get up, so he gingerly helped her. Then she chirpily thanked him for picking her up, waved goodnight and trotted into the house

She came into work the next day, perfectly fine except for a hangover and grazed knees from the asphalt.

Another one. Went to a party off campus with some friends, got really drunk and told my mate I was going back to my room. Fell over walking across a field and fell asleep. About an hour later I was woken up by some other pissed up idiot falling over me. Turned out to be my friend who I'd told I was leaving. Laughed for a good 5m then walked to rest of the way together.

I'm another cheery, affectionate drunk. Never shagged anyone I wouldn't have done sober (but some awful things happened when drugs were in the mix) and my danger radar seems to operate reasonably well, even when my legs and conscious brain have given up. I've done a lot of undignified things, got on and off a lot of wrong trains/buses, and have walked incredible distances in heels while feeling no pain. But the stupidest thing I've done - multiple times - is handed £50 notes to street sleepers.

It seemed unjust that I'd been larging it up in warm, sparkly venues, spending enough on drinks to pay for a night or two at a hotel, and was hailing a cab to drive me all the way home where I'd probably eat something nice before crashing into my comfy bed. So I'd hand out all the cash in my purse, sometimes even going to an ATM for more. Pretty sure they'd have been just as happy with a kebab and a beer.

I've never been drunk. I'm capable of doing stupid stuff all on my own, no alcohol needed to help. 😔

I did rehab. Most of my fellow alcoholics had tried various barmy strategies to limit their drinking before finally reaching "the first Step". My favourite story was the guy who decided he'd only drink when outside the UK. He managed to stick to this by, predictably, inventing endless reasons to go abroad.

The way he told it, he'd ended up going to an island casino somewhere exotic with a bunch of blokes he'd only just met. After a long, legless night throwing money around, the management eventually threw him out. He wasn't having this. So he bought the casino. Which meant buying the island it was on.

He wouldn't tell us whether he still actually owned this island or had somehow wangled his way out of it - but who cares, it's a good story!

This is very funny 🤣

Okay Smugarella

Way too many to list - joined Army at 18 then was posted abroad. Drinking was the culture back then - how I didn't die I'll never know 🤷🏻‍♀️

Drink very rarely now and certainly not to extremes - have landed myself in various vats of hot water 😬

I wouldn't know where to start to be honest.

I had some inbuilt homing device so if I ever felt I was too drunk to be out I would beeline back home without thinking to tell anyone. At uni I was trying to go to the loo in a club, knickers were an impediment so I threw them, automatically went home, my friends were really concerned as I'd vanished and I was sound asleep in bed and apparently I was like a ragdoll and didn't wake up with shaking.

Slow day at the mail

Too many to count. I have form for falling asleep on public transport though. I woke up on a train once miles north of my stop (middle of night) and then fell off it as I tried to get off (as it was still moving), taking the skin off both hands.
I also once drove a short distance (but long enough) whilst very pissed. I got away with it but shudder to think what might have happened. I don’t drink anymore.

Did anything happen to you? And if something did, could you tell the next day? I recently got drunk at a bar and left by myself and proceeded to walk home. A man who was next to me playing machines who I talked to briefly left a little after i did and said he'll walk with me & that he lived down the street & asked if I was alright. I assured I was fine & that it was okay. But after a while I just stopped caring. I was stumbling pretty badly. He actually caught me from falling. I remember telling him I had a gun in my bag and asked him if he wanted to see it, to which he said no lol. But after a while the walk became fuzzy. I faintly remember saying bye and thank you & walking the next few blocks alone. But I couldn't remember getting in the door and what I did once I got home. I woke up in my own bed at like 4am with my leggings and shirt on, I didn't feel drunk still so I must have been asleep a while(it was 8 something when I started walking home). Had all my stuff, even my key which I used to get into the door. I checked all my clothes even underwear and nothing out of the ordinary, I also checked my body for marks. But I have such bad ocd and anxiety thinking what if something happened? What if he wasn't just a good guy making sure I got home? But then I would've definitely known if something happened and I know I would've put up a fight because I get aggressive when I'm blacked out. I'm just overthinking and it's killing me.

Actually pictured you wagging your finger whilst giving this lecture.

Could you tell the next day you were sexually assaulted? Or did he tell you what happened? I just need to know if the body can tell, I'm really in my head rn