Is this abuse? What is it?

[TheStandardLife]

Partner and I have a awful relationship, I've tried to leave serval times over the years. Even today he smirked in the kitchen and said how will I leave, I can't.

Yesterday we were out shopping child free, partner was annoyed because I wouldn't engage in a conversation he wanted to have about if he won the lottery and gave me half, how I'd leave him, and he would end up homeless and I'd take our child.

I kept asking him to stop, I kept saying this is ridiculous and I kept walking away.

I picked up a glass vase that I liked and he came over, he said I could have it for my birthday.

He then tried to start this ridiculous conversation again about winning the lottery and me leaving him, I asked him to stop and walked away with vase in my hands.

As I walked away he tried to trip me up, kicking both ankles and swiping my feet from behind, how I didn't fall over crushing the vase I don't know. I tripped forward and luckily got my balance again as I went into some clothing rails.

I was shaking and in shock he just tried to make me fall in public, he said it was a joke and "something he does with his brothers".

He muttered sorry and walked off. I've been crying about it ever since.

He's actively goading you about not having left him. He's enjoying the hold he has. He really can't be worth it. What are you waiting for him to put you through before you go, as obviously that's what he's enjoying trying to find out.

I read an awful lot of relationship threads where I think "Oh for heavens sake you don't leave somebody for that" what there are 1000 posts saying LTB.

But really, this is up there with the worst I've read on MN. I really feel for you, and I really hope you can get away from him. I'm sorry I don't have more advice.

Report it to the police tell them which store so they can get the cctv to use to prosecute him.

Sounds incredibly dangerous.

I would question what he means by 'even if I chose to leave him I can't'

Review some charity pages on what to do when planning to leave. Tell a trusted friend or family member. Have it all planned out with where you are going, change your number, etc

Hmmm....think he'd be wearing the vase if it was me. Then again I have anger issues 🤔

Or you could have pretended that you properly fell and smashed the vase. Then it would be all his fault and he would have to deal with it.

Hi @TheStandardLife
Your partner has been an idiot by assaulting you in a public place where there is likely to be CCTV, please contact the supermarket today and ask them for a copy. You will need to give them the date, an approximate time frame, and tell then where in the shop it happened. You might have to pay a small fee - maybe £5 or so.
Then phone Womens Aid and ask for help. You are in an abusive relationship but they won't tell you to leave. They will just support you and offer advice.
www.womensaid.org.uk/information-support/

You're NEVER stuck, no matter how much he says so or what financial/ emotional obstacles are in your way.

You don't need anyone to tell you that was a physical assault and definitely abusive behaviour. You need to decide what you are going to do. You must address what happened with him, and tell him it must never happen again. You don't sound happy together, the issues are deeper than this one incident. You need to consider your future.

Hi, if u.even have the question in your mind, if u are in an abusive relationship, the answer is most likely yes. It sounds as though this partner is extremely insecure, and is projecting his bullshit on to you. He is using your love for your kids as ammo
This is common among deceptive broke as men who have a need to control everything. My advice would be to dig deeper under the radar and get my ducks in a row. Be prepared to take back your power. And be careful.