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AIBU?

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Original poster

Would you pay for this?

139 replies

Lockerlocker · 15/01/2023 12:02

Received a phone call from DS16s school last week to say him and another child had been involved in an incident where they had both kicked a locker, they have viewed the CCTV to confirm it was them. He explained DS would be excluded and we would be billed for the locker as they had damaged it. As there was two boys involved they bill would be halved. Fair enough. Makes sense we are billed for the locker.

Friday, I receive an email followed by the letter in the post yesterday to say that the single locker can’t be replaced so we have to pay for the column of lockers, adding that the lockers are on show in the corridor and it ruins the atheistic and the locker is now not functional. So I’m still sort of in agreement. The cost of the four lockers is £156.06 so our bill is £79.03.

Then I open the photo they have sent me (picture 1), the bottom locker is already clearly without a door (there is no suggestion that my DS was involved in this). I show my DS the photo, he states that it doesn’t look like the picture at all and that the girl is still using the locker. He said several of lockers have dents in and they have not been replaced. He has then sent me photos of the block showing the dinted lockers and the locker now.

I think I should only be charged for the broken locker and at a push 3 out of 4 lockers.

Not to drip feed, not sure it’s relevant, it’s an alternate provision. DS has an ASD & ADHD diagnosis. However I don’t believe he was having a melt down at the time of the incident.

Would you pay for this?
Would you pay for this?
Would you pay for this?
OP posts:
L0bstersLass · 15/01/2023 14:46

I reckon they're planning on taking the two good doors off the column and using them to replace other dinted doors.
Which is fine, but not if you're paying for it.
So, I would suggest that I'm happy to pay for it to be replaced, but I want the damaged column. If they want the doors, they can contribute a third of the cost.

diddl · 15/01/2023 14:50

Survey99 · 15/01/2023 14:33

Then the school are still left with a locker without a door after summer when her son moves on.

Show quote history

The lockers already needed replacing if one is missing a door.

There are now 2 doors missing & the lockers still need replacing.

Isn't the school still in the same situation?

BloomingXmas · 15/01/2023 14:51

Stop being pedantic.
y our son and his friend deliberately damaged school property.
you are teaching your son a terrible lesson with this.

MugginsOverEre · 15/01/2023 14:59

I'm normally all for paying up when a kid has effed up BUT I can see why you're not happy with paying full price for an already badly damaged item. The fact that they want to buy a whole unit on you when it was already missing a door WHICH HAD NOTHING TO DO WITH OP's SON, is unfair and seeking betterment where they are not entitled. The bent door can be bent back into place but the school aren't happy cos it still looks shit because of THEIR missing door underneath? I'd offer 1/3 of the replacement cost and advise the other parent offer the same.

And DS would be stripped of all tech and grounded for the foreseeable. Little shit.

Pjmaskmummy · 15/01/2023 15:00

If the other lockers were in good condition and the only damaged one was the one your son damaged then I'd agree with the school however in this situation I think you should pay a percentage of the cost for the whole unit.

SinnerBoy · 15/01/2023 15:02

The fact that they want to buy a whole unit on you when it was already missing a door WHICH HAD NOTHING TO DO WITH OP's SON, is unfair...

Yes, I agree. And a number of the other doors are dented, graffitied and otherwise damaged, not by the OP's son. The damaged door has been pushed back into shape and is now functional.

Yes, discipline by the mother and the school, but they're taking the piss.

Survey99 · 15/01/2023 15:03

diddl · 15/01/2023 14:50

The lockers already needed replacing if one is missing a door.

There are now 2 doors missing & the lockers still need replacing.

Isn't the school still in the same situation?

Show quote history

No, they have two lockers without doors instead of just one. Maybe they are okay with the class sizes missing one door.

Regardless, that is the schools choice how they maintain their lockers. When there has been deliberate vandalism, the vandal needs to pay to fix the damage they caused and the only way to do that is to replace the whole column. It means the school gets a new column and the other locker fixed, but maybe they don't need that one fixed.

SinnerBoy · 15/01/2023 15:06

No, they have two lockers without doors instead of just one. Maybe they are okay with the class sizes missing one door.

That's not the case, some posts back, the OP said that the door has been pushed back into shape and is functional.

Original poster
Lockerlocker · 15/01/2023 15:31

DS has been exclude, had all his tech removed during the exclusion and will be using his pocket money to pay. That part I’m not disputing.

OP posts:
loobylou10 · 15/01/2023 15:31

They might be pulling a fast one by replacing the lockers but if your son hadn't caused any damage, they wouldn't be able to involve you in the cost of replacements.
A good lesson learned - actions have consequences.
Pay up.

FictionalCharacter · 15/01/2023 15:43

picklemewalnuts · 15/01/2023 12:11

I think OP's irritation is that the damaged locker isn't the only damage and therefore needing to be fixed. It's just a bit more damage to an already grotty unit.

They are taking the opportunity to upgrade the lockers at OP expense.

Exactly.

diddl · 15/01/2023 15:43

Regardless, that is the schools choice how they maintain their lockers. When there has been deliberate vandalism, the vandal needs to pay to fix the damage they caused and the only way to do that is to replace the whole column. It means the school gets a new column and the other locker fixed, but maybe they don't need that one fixed.

True.

I mean I do think that it should be paid for & lesson learnt.

I think that the school mentioning "aesthetics" would piss me off when it looks as if "aesthetically" at least 4 other columns need replacing!

Still, Op's son & other kid have been daft enough to give the school a reason to pass the bill their way!

2chocolateoranges · 15/01/2023 15:47

No wonder here as so many teens/ children who have no respect and have masses of attitude to authority , teachers and other adults when their own parents can’t face up to the consequences of their child’s behaviour!

just pay the bloody money.

LabiaMinoraPissusFlapus · 15/01/2023 15:56

Surely you will make your son pay you back? I make my children pay for anything they've damaged or lost, and from a young age. It makes them take responsibility for their actions and take care in the future. It's partly why I give them pocket money, so they learn how to use it and also to feel the loss when paying for something they don't want to but have to.

Tamarindtree · 15/01/2023 15:59

How frightening for anyone working at the school and other pupils to witness your son and his friend behave so aggressively.

The quicker you pay up the sooner you can put it behind you and move on.

Quibbling over the condition of the lockers is really poor form.

LabiaMinoraPissusFlapus · 15/01/2023 15:59

I would actually want the bill and to make my son pay, so he learns from it. Never mind the previous condition of the locker, he shouldn't have damaged it further. Do we want him to damage something newer looking and then only be billed for that? I see you are making pay, which is a good lesson.

LadyMonicaBaddingham · 15/01/2023 16:01

Just pay up and expect your son to 'work off' the cost somehow. End of.

mumda · 15/01/2023 16:18

Do they not have caretakers any more?

That'd be back in shape in about 5 minutes.

Daffodilis · 15/01/2023 16:19

Just pay it. The school have better things to do than sorting this sort of stuff out. Maybe you should do something about your violent thug of a son before you end up paying court fines for him. You are being ridiculous

Ledwood85 · 15/01/2023 16:30

If you bumped someone's car and they needed a bumper replaced, for £300 and they told you to pay £2,000, as the aesthetics were ruined; the alloys were wrecked, the bonnet dented and the headlight broken - not by you, nobody would be telling you to comply.

Worst analogy I've ever read on here 😂

Headlights, bonnets and alloys are completely separate items from the bumper.
You would have been better off describing having to replace a cracked bumper that already had chips and scratches on it.

The school is looking to replace part of something that comes as one item.

They don't have the resources/time/tools to repair the existing, and why should they? They didn't damage it.
They don't have the time to try and hunt down the same model from decades ago and only replace the broken part.
Used ones are not available.
They can only buy new from a pre-approved supplier.
Claiming on insurance and raising premiums based on non-accidental misbehaviour and making everyone else pay? Give it a rest.

The only solution is to replace the entire thing with a new one.

Completely incidental that it means it'll also replace some wear and tear that was already in place.

Don't like it having to pay for pre-existing wear?
Don't go around kicking in lockers. Pretty simple situation to avoid.

maddiemookins16mum · 15/01/2023 16:31

No, you shouldn’t pay. Your Son should.

Technonan · 15/01/2023 16:32

Good grief. How to teach your son that vandalism is OK. He damaged the locker. You should pay for the replacement set. It's hardly a fortune.

WhatDoYouWantNow · 15/01/2023 16:34

Just pay it. Stop it out of your son's pocket money, or get him to do jobs in the garden, for no reward.

SinnerBoy · 15/01/2023 16:47

Ledwood85

Worst analogy I've ever read on here 😂

Headlights, bonnets and alloys are completely separate items from the bumper. You would have been better off describing having to replace a cracked bumper that already had chips and scratches on it. The school is looking to replace part of something that comes as one item.

My point was that there was quite a lot of damage to other parts of the unit, which was pre-existing. The school say that the OP's boy is responsible for it no longer being aesthetically pleasing, even though he's not responsible for the other damaged areas.

And they've bent it back into shape, so that it can be used again.

orbitalcrisis · 15/01/2023 17:24

The school are entitled to a like for like replacement and a sincere apology from your son, maybe a bit of litter picking and sweeping around the school. I would send them a link to the many second hand lockers for sale on Ebay and a cheque for half the cost. £12.50 seems to cover it. I would even offer to go and collect the locker, it's only fair.