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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Inconsiderate?

51 replies

NameChange2222222222 · 15/01/2023 06:20

Name changed for this as potentially outing as I told a few people about this yesterday...

Went to the Co op yesterday after my daughters gym lesson - finished 11:30, Co op 11:45... bought us both a meal deal as we were going to visit my mum as it was her birthday. All good, had a lovely visit and we're home by 2:30.

When we walk in the door, I put the remains of my sandwich in the kitchen, ready to recycle the packaging and put the food in the bin. DH says 'oh, I see you both had lunch then? Why didn't you check if I wanted anything?' To which I responded 'it was 3 hours ago, it would be gross by now.'

He thinks I should have asked, and if he wanted one, took it with me and put it in my mum's fridge. Why on Earth would I have done that when he is an adult, at home with lunch options and capable of popping to the shop himself if he wanted something different?

He said he would never be so inconsiderate to me... He hadn't eaten since we had been gone... no idea why ... then stropped off to the shop.

This is bullshit right? I would not assume he wanted a meal taking home 3 hours later...

Such a weird weird situation.

OP posts:
Original poster
NameChange2222222222 · 15/01/2023 06:21

The AIBU is

Was IBU not buying him a sandwich?

OP posts:
Againstmachine · 15/01/2023 06:23

Not sure why a sandwich would be gross after a few hours.

But yeah he has lots of options at home so not sure why he is moaning.

Aprilx · 15/01/2023 06:25

He is being childish. Although to be honest me and DH would probably tell each other if we were getting lunch whilst we are out as generally we do lunch together at the weekend.

Original poster
NameChange2222222222 · 15/01/2023 06:26

@Againstmachine ok not gross. Just warm which he doesn't like

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PriOn1 · 15/01/2023 06:27

Sounds like he’s being stroppy for no reason. If I bought lunch because I was out, it wouldn’t cross my mind to buy something for someone at home, unless perhaps I knew they especially liked an item and wanted to treat them, but it certainly wouldn’t be a routine consideration.

I don’t think it would necessarily be grim after three hours, but if you got home and he didn’t want it, it could easily end up being wasted.

Original poster
NameChange2222222222 · 15/01/2023 06:28

@Aprilx I assumed he would know we were getting something as we weren't she to be back until 3ish and I had a 10 year old with me who would need to eat.

We don't do lunch together at the weekend as a rule due to daughters gym etc so not weird at all to do our own thing.

As our trip out covered lunch time, I assumed he would just eat. As we did.

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Original poster
NameChange2222222222 · 15/01/2023 06:29

@PriOn1 this is exactly it. It didn't even cross my mind! Nothing special, just Co op which is 5 mins from the house

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PonyPals · 15/01/2023 06:34

He is weird but why did you bring your sandwich home?

elfd · 15/01/2023 06:38

My DH gets like this, he can't be bothered to make something for himself and gets stroppy. It pathetic really.

Fraine · 15/01/2023 06:39

PonyPals · 15/01/2023 06:34

He is weird but why did you bring your sandwich home?

She explains it in the OP.

OP, he is being ridiculous, especially as the shop is 5 minutes away.

If I’m getting food and on my home I’ll text DH to see if he wants anything but I wouldn’t do it if I’m on my way to go somewhere.

Dies he often bring you lunch?

PriOn1 · 15/01/2023 06:40

NameChange2222222222 · 15/01/2023 06:29

@PriOn1 this is exactly it. It didn't even cross my mind! Nothing special, just Co op which is 5 mins from the house

The shop is only five minutes from the house? That’s even more ridiculous.

Did he say anything when he got back? Does he usually expect you to cater for him?

OutFortheBirds · 15/01/2023 06:44

Is his hands broken? Tell him to make himself a sandwich and cop TF on while he’s at it. Big baby.

Oysterbabe · 15/01/2023 06:46

He's being ridiculous.

Justellingthetruth · 15/01/2023 06:50

@NameChange2222222222

he is being an arse
ignore it

georgarina · 15/01/2023 06:59

Yeah he was being stupid, makes no sense at all that you would buy him a sandwich when he was at home

bluebird3 · 15/01/2023 07:04

He's being ridiculous. I'd never think to bring my husband home a meal deal 3 hours after lunch and neither would he.

Original poster
NameChange2222222222 · 15/01/2023 07:10

@PonyPals I decided to buy a gluten free egg sandwich and I didn't like the texture of the bread, ate most of it but bought the rest back to put it in the food bin / recycling.

Dd also saved some of her pasta

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Original poster
NameChange2222222222 · 15/01/2023 07:10

@elfd yes, it really is isn't it? I would never ever expect him to get me something if I was home and he was out for hours. Weird

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Original poster
NameChange2222222222 · 15/01/2023 07:12

@Fraine no, never. He quite often gets food while out but claims this is different as I went somewhere with a fridge. I would have forgotten to get it back out or the fridge if I'd put it there so irrelevant anyway!

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Original poster
NameChange2222222222 · 15/01/2023 07:13

@PriOn1 I said that we were both adults and as he was home and near shop I assumed he would just make something - he is a good cook but can't think things up / lazy ... he said 'oh, that's how it is? All out for ourselves..'

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Original poster
NameChange2222222222 · 15/01/2023 07:14

@bluebird3 never! Hadn't even crossed my mind and not something we have ever done!

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Original poster
NameChange2222222222 · 15/01/2023 07:15

@OutFortheBirds I said as much!

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LunaAndHerMoonDragons · 15/01/2023 07:21

Really strange behaviour. If I'm coming home with food sure, but no way I'd ask if he wants something if I wasn't coming home for 3 hours. Is he like my H and just picks something to be a dick about if he's in a mood?

WonderingWanda · 15/01/2023 07:22

What a silly thing for him to have a sulk about. I don't think you were unreasonable.

Original poster
NameChange2222222222 · 15/01/2023 07:45

@LunaAndHerMoonDragons I think so as I just can't fathom why this bothered him so much. It was like I'd walked in with a piping hot Wagamamas and hadn't asked if he wanted dinner

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