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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Inconsiderate?

51 replies

NameChange2222222222 · 15/01/2023 06:20

Name changed for this as potentially outing as I told a few people about this yesterday...

Went to the Co op yesterday after my daughters gym lesson - finished 11:30, Co op 11:45... bought us both a meal deal as we were going to visit my mum as it was her birthday. All good, had a lovely visit and we're home by 2:30.

When we walk in the door, I put the remains of my sandwich in the kitchen, ready to recycle the packaging and put the food in the bin. DH says 'oh, I see you both had lunch then? Why didn't you check if I wanted anything?' To which I responded 'it was 3 hours ago, it would be gross by now.'

He thinks I should have asked, and if he wanted one, took it with me and put it in my mum's fridge. Why on Earth would I have done that when he is an adult, at home with lunch options and capable of popping to the shop himself if he wanted something different?

He said he would never be so inconsiderate to me... He hadn't eaten since we had been gone... no idea why ... then stropped off to the shop.

This is bullshit right? I would not assume he wanted a meal taking home 3 hours later...

Such a weird weird situation.

OP posts:
Original poster
NameChange2222222222 · 15/01/2023 07:45

@WonderingWanda thanks.

OP posts:
Original poster
NameChange2222222222 · 15/01/2023 07:46

If it was something special I may have / say I was in London and I was buying food form somewhere amazing I would, or on the way home, but not a poxy sarnie on the way out

OP posts:
MangoBiscuit · 15/01/2023 07:56

YWNBU OP. But your DH sounds pretty weird. It wouldn't even have occurred to me to call and ask DP if he wanted a sandwich, when I was buying one on my way out. If on the way home, yes probably. Or, as you say, if were stopping somewhere special for food. But a co-op sandwich, for 3 hours later? Dp would probably ask if I was feeling ok.

autienotnaughty · 15/01/2023 07:56

If I was planning on eating the sandwich at home I'd ask but otherwise no.

Original poster
NameChange2222222222 · 15/01/2023 07:58

@MangoBiscuit yes! It's not even something we have ever done before! He does have a tendency to get upset over odd things which surprise me, so I feel like I've done something wrong when I had no opportunity to prevent it as it's something perfectly run of the mill.

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Original poster
NameChange2222222222 · 15/01/2023 07:59

@autienotnaughty yes quite.

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MermaidMummy06 · 15/01/2023 08:01

Some people just can't bear missing out.

My (ex) friend's DH would make us get him an extra large coffee on our way home from a girls' coffee date. He'd sulk like a toddler if we didn't. Sometimes we'd go shopping after coffee but had to leave earlier than we wanted, to circle back to the coffee drive thru on the way home. She knew it pissed the other two of us off, but insisted because he'd be impossible to live with otherwise.

SmileWithADimple · 15/01/2023 08:03

YANBU and your DH is behaving like a spoilt child.

Oysterbabe · 15/01/2023 08:04

My DH can be a bit like this. Absolutely cannot stand the idea of missing out on something. Gets the hump if I so much as get myself a glass of water without offering him one.

JudgeRudy · 15/01/2023 10:58

I'm assuming with it being a Saturday your husband was not working and was at home relaxing whilst you collected your daughter (bet you took her too) then popped in your mums. I'm also assuming you bought the lunch more so you didn't inconvenience your mum.
If your husband hadn't have seen the wrapper they'd have been no row. He's sat there like a manchild waiting for you to make his lunch.
I'd bet you said you were calling into your mums and I bet you made the evening meal.
He's looking for an argument because he's 'hangry'!

Happin · 15/01/2023 11:04

I'd have asked him did he want one, but if I hadn't have asked and I just turned up home my DH wouldn't bat an eyelid, he is ridiculous to strop about it. I would have offered though.

Fraaahnces · 15/01/2023 11:12

I’d be so tempted to keep a jar of baby food in my handbag for the next time he pulled this trick. “There you go Baby… Here’s your lunch.”

thirdistheonewiththehairychest · 15/01/2023 11:12

If my DH had a strop about that then he would be doing all of the gym pick-ups from now on.

FictionalCharacter · 15/01/2023 11:56

He’s being absolutely ridiculous. Is he always like this? If it’s a sudden change in the way he behaves, I’d be wondering what’s up.

MrsSkylerWhite · 15/01/2023 11:59

Thinking about it, we do tend to text each other, saying “I’m in X shop, anything you want/need?”

Babyroobs · 15/01/2023 12:00

Why could he not just make himself a cheap snack at home rather than wasting pounds on a soggy sandwich and wait 3 hours for it ? Ridiculous.

Quinoawoman · 15/01/2023 12:33

He was probably hangry.

Flowersintheattic57 · 15/01/2023 14:22

How does his behaviour not embarrass him?

Original poster
NameChange2222222222 · 15/01/2023 15:18

@Oysterbabe ha ha yes that's how it is!

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Original poster
NameChange2222222222 · 15/01/2023 15:18

@JudgeRudy yes 100% as I knew it was that time we were popping over. And yes I did buy dinner

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Original poster
NameChange2222222222 · 15/01/2023 15:19

@FictionalCharacter yes. Over all sorts of non issues. Drives me mad

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Original poster
NameChange2222222222 · 15/01/2023 15:20

@MrsSkylerWhite if I had, he wouldn't have said 'a meal deal' anyway. The shop is so close I didn't think to as I wasn't going home for 3 hours and I'm the one who knows what household stuff / food we need generally.

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Original poster
NameChange2222222222 · 15/01/2023 15:21

@Babyroobs I know! That's what doesn't make sense! It's completely the principle of it for him for some reason

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Original poster
NameChange2222222222 · 15/01/2023 15:21

@Flowersintheattic57 no idea. I'm embarrassed for him

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FictionalCharacter · 15/01/2023 20:27

You know, what gets me about this ridiculous behaviour is that they usually only do it to their wives and children. Imagine him saying that to a workmate who came back to the office with a sandwich wrapper. Not happening! Let alone all the sulking. They just wouldn't do this to a man. It shows how much they disrespect us.

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